Introduction to the Reflection

Welcome to the Examen on Acedia, produced for you by Christina Gebel with The Moderate Catholic. As we enter into this time together, think about how you might want to use this Examen. You could use it with a retreat, after a month’s time in your life, during a Church season - like Advent or Lent - but for the purposes of our time here, we will be using it to reflect on a week that has passed in our life.

Reflection Part I

So, with that, I invite you to sit and rest, find a comfortable spot, perhaps have a pen or paper nearby in case you want to write down a [00:01:00] thought.

And very gently invite yourself to settle your spirit and try to just turn down the volume of your mind. As you’re turning down the volume of your mind, try and turn up the awareness of everything presently around you, of the body that you’re in, the touch, the sound, the feelings around you, and slowly quiet the mind and become fully present.[00:02:00]

To open our reflection, we’ll use the quote from Psalm 46, verse 10. We’ll repeat this quote a few times, slowly, so that we can invite God into this space with us. Invite the Holy Spirit, invite Jesus to be with us in our time today:

“Be still and know that I am God.”

This next time, try taking a series of deep [00:03:00] breaths and we’ll read again from Psalm 46, verse 10:

“Be still and know that I am God.”

“Be still and know that I am God.”

Now that you’ve gotten to a still place, think about the last week or whatever time period that you want to reflect on today. [00:04:00]

Think about all the ordinary or special things that might have happened in that time.

Think about the ordinary ways you might have spent your weekdays. Think about the evenings. Think about the weekend

Recall the people, places, and things that came up in that normal progression of your day, [00:05:00] of your week.

And now kind of float above those memories. Kind of be a mindful, neutral observer of everything that’s coming to mind and ask yourself, what was your energy feeling like?

Was it energetic? Did you feel excited about something?

Maybe you felt bored or a little bit like autopilot?

Were there [00:06:00] times when you might’ve been lethargic or maybe tired?

Not feeling very motivated,

Or perhaps you are a little jittery, maybe a little bit distracted, feeling like you’re going from one thing to the next with barely a pause.

Or maybe you had times when you felt weary. Maybe you had a hard time feeling hope. Maybe some despair crept in.

Maybe the time or hours seem to drag on in parts of your day. [00:07:00] Parts of your week or maybe time just kind of felt like it stopped altogether.

So, take a moment and just think: how was your energy?

Jot down some thoughts or take some mental notes about all the variations in your energy.

Keep holding those thoughts in your head, those feelings, those memories, and ask yourself, did you doubt yourself at all?

Did you have doubts about what you’re doing in [00:08:00] life?

Did any questions come up as to what you are meant to do?

Did you have a time when you might have felt unworthy?

Did you have a time when you wanted to escape or get away or evade something?

Did you find your mind wandering, daydreaming, wondering if there was something better, maybe a better job, a better place to live, [00:09:00] a better program, a better path?

Did you seek the stimulus of something new?

Did you neglect something that maybe you said you’ve committed to?

Or perhaps push off something that you’ve been meaning to do to another day? Another time?[00:10:00]

Did you sit down to do something and maybe felt overwhelmed?

Maybe you decided to stop before you even tried?

Now, think of times that you were totally alone.

What were those small moments of silence or small windows of time when you were just with yourself?

Did that feel uncomfortable?

Did you [00:11:00] find yourself reaching for something to occupy your mind?

Maybe it was your phone. Scrolling, shopping, social media, turning to the news, playing a game, texting someone…

Did you find yourself seeking comfort in distraction?

Were there times that you were alone, but maybe you were multitasking?[00:12:00]

Eating while working?

Talking while driving?

Now, think about your body.

Were there times when you became, maybe, frustrated or impatient with your health?

Impatient, maybe, with the limitations of your body.

Did you have that feeling of there’s just not enough hours in the day?[00:13:00]

Did you have a time when you found yourself drifting back to the past?

Did you find yourself with a sense of longing for days when you were younger, felt differently, life was simpler, you felt more happy, maybe more free to do what you chose?[00:14:00]

Was there a time this week that you tried to talk yourself out of something?

Maybe you had the thought that you were “too” something to try.

Maybe you felt too young, maybe too old.

Too inexperienced,

Too far along down [00:15:00] one road already.

In too deep already.

Too busy.

Or maybe it was that you felt that you just have too many people depending on you in the current situation.

Take a moment now and pause and just let those thoughts, those feelings, those memories kind of bubble up to the surface and just simply sit with them.

Sit [00:16:00] with them like you would find yourself sitting across from someone at a table, on a bench.

Hold those memories, those moments, those scenes, those feelings.

And accept them as part of your story…

Without judgment.

[00:17:00] Without feelings of less than, or unworthiness or screwing something up…

Just accept them for what they are without judgment in a space of peace and neutrality.

Reflection Part II

Now once you’ve sat there with all of that, [00:18:00] I want you to just sit up, reposition yourself wherever you are, and just start taking some deep breaths in and out.

Deep breaths in and out.

And on these next breaths, breathe in and out with a spirit of openness.

Now I want you to go back to that same time period that you’ve been [00:19:00] recalling the thoughts, the feelings, the emotions, and now we’re going to turn to a different set of questions.

Was there a time that you felt joy?

Was there a time that you saw yourself laughing authentically?

Was there a moment in there that you felt your load lighten?

Did someone or something [00:20:00] make you feel really excited?

Did something spark your curiosity?

Did something come up and you questioned was that a coincidence or was it a sign?

Did someone say something to you that really stuck with you?[00:21:00]

Did you have moments when you felt like you were in “flow”, when all your systems were firing in the best kind of way?

And you felt this kind of energy, even if the task was mundane or simple,

Did you have a moment when you felt fully present or immersed in something?

Did you feel like you never wanted it to end?[00:22:00]

You could have sat there, stood there, listened, or learned all day feeling totally absorbed.

Did you have periods of gratitude for where you were, where you are in your life, or who you are?

Did you experience a profound or surprising moment of clarity?[00:23:00]

Did you feel the depth of an unquestionable commitment to something, even if it was hard?

Did you find yourself dreaming?

Daydreaming?

Wondering?

Even if you or someone said it was impossible and probable or could never happen, did you find yourself wondering if maybe it could?[00:24:00]

Did you have a time when you felt like you were tempted to flee or distract yourself, but instead you just stopped and stayed?

Did you stop worrying or dwelling on something and choose to trust God instead?

Did you sit with discomfort or not having an answer?[00:25:00]

Did you persevere in prayer or making it to church or showing up at a church event, even when you didn’t feel like it?

Even when it might’ve felt impossible or that nothing seemed to be going your way to get there?

Did you have any moment when you remembered why you felt called to do something?

Why you felt called this job, this vocation?[00:26:00]

Did you remind yourself why you love doing something so much?

Did you relish in something that you’ve really missed?

Did you persist in hope, even if everyone and everything around you said otherwise?

Did you do any of these things and find peace and joy on the other side?[00:27:00]

Maybe you found a renewed commitment,

A fond reminder,

A surprising curiosity,

A deeper gratitude,

A clear vision,

A greater sense of trust [00:28:00] in God,

A greater comfort with who you are,

A belief in your own unique gifts, your fundamental worthiness.

And now I want you to gently rest a hand on your shoulder and bring yourself back. [00:29:00]

Gently, slowly return to the present moment.

Be aware of your breathing.

Be aware of your body.

And take these last moments to just sit with a question.

What stayed with me, what’s still lingering there?

Nudging you stay with that whisper, stay with that nudge, and let it speak [00:30:00] directly to you.

Maybe you want to stay there and be with the quiet of those feelings, those messages, those Divine [00:31:00] revelations.

Or, if you want to gently bring yourself back, slowly open your eyes and reenter the world that God has given you.

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