Reset With Renee

Episode 9: Connection & Disconnection AND Attachment & Relationships

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  • BIDS: TOWARDS, AWAY, AGAINST or if not responded to a person will PROTEST.
  • If bids or protest are NOT met: RUPTURE.  Repair is needed.
  • Without repair, people LEARN TO DISCONNECT.
  • If this pattern of disconnection becomes habituated people learn:  NOT TO TRUST -  1) SELF 2) OTHERS 3) "THE WORLD"
  • This all relates to developed ATTACHMENT STYLE.  In the absence of relational repair, a secure attachment style won't be formed.  The person will apply the attachment style inwardly & outwardly. DISCONNECTION becomes an adaptive/defense mechanism. 
  • Once an adult, INNER CHILD WORK = INNER ATTACHMENT WORK... AS NO ONE IS COMING.
  • Adult relationships = secondary attachment figures; adults need to be responsible (able to respond) to their inner & outer world as needed.
  • TRAUMA ECOSYSTEM = families or environments with poor relational or conflict management skills - may be tricky, traumatic, toxic, dysfunctional.  
  • MOTHER/FATHER WOUND = if your parents could not attune to your signals/cues or if there are generational legacies you are carrying, you may find you have unresolved issues with one or both of your parents that drive your behaviors in your present day relationships.

    • REFLECTION:  

    HOW DO YOU TURN TOWARDS YOURSELF & OTHERS? HOW DO YOU TURN AWAY?  HOW DO YOU TURN AGAINST? WHERE DO YOU STUMBLE?  WHAT COULD CHANGE IF YOU HAD HELP?

    See IG @resetwithrenee for video: 

    https://www.instagram.com/p/CmIRT3fpakJ/

    #resetwithrenee #attachmentstyles #innerchild #healing #relationships #generationalhealing #cptsd #aces #gottman #ifs #narm #holidays #Emotionalintelligence #co-regulating #polyvagal #ans 

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    Reset With ReneeBy Reset With Renee