Episode 9: The Quiet Losses No One Talks About

What if grief isn’t just about losing people… but losing versions of your life?

In this episode, we’re exploring the quieter, less visible side of loss — the kind that doesn’t always have a clear name.

From those unexpected moments that catch you off guard (like feeling sad after something lovely), to the lives we didn’t live, the choices we didn’t make, and the parts of ourselves we’ve outgrown —t his is a conversation about all the ways grief shows up beyond death.

We talk about:

• The bittersweet feeling of seeing something you didn’t have
• “Sliding doors” moments and the paths not taken
• Ambiguous loss and unmet needs
• Understanding yourself differently later in life
• Why even the right decisions can come with a sense of loss
• The pressure of timelines and expectations
• And why you can love your life… and still grieve another one

This one is honest, reflective, and very “same but different.”

Because sometimes the hardest losses to process… are the ones no one else can see.

• Episode shownotes:
  Brandi Carlile: The song, “The Mother”. “Welcome to the end of being alone inside your mind.”
• Alan Wolfelt: “All change is loss, and all loss must be mourned.”
• Counterfactual thinking: Imagining alternative versions of the past (“what if…” thinking)
• Prediction error (neuroscience): The brain updating its expectations when reality doesn’t match its internal model.
• Pauline Boss: Ambiguous loss (loss without clear closure or definition
• Carl Jung” “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”
• Bernice Neugarten: Social clock (cultural expectations about life timelines and milestones)
• David Blanchflower: U-shaped happiness curve (wellbeing dips in midlife and rises later)
• The Bell Jar: Sylvia Plath” Fig tree metaphor (the lives we don’t choose).
• Nora Ephron: Reflections on ageing, regret, and self-perception, “I Feel Bad About My Neck”.
• Sehnsucht: A German term describing a deep, bittersweet longing for something intangible or unattainable.
• Liz Moreton: https://stress-ed.co.uk/mbsr/

Work with Liz Goodchild - www.lizgoodchild.co.uk

Work with Bernie Dancy - www.bernadettedancy.co.uk