Such valuable information I've learned. Relevant for you on Valentines Day!

-

Focus on the positive. Your partner is not God so don't depend on them to meet your needs. They will fail at some point, and that's not a stable foundation for your relationship (to expect/ need them to be perfect). Get your needs met by God so that you're not standing on your partner. Standing on your partner and seeing them fail at something that is not even their responsibility in the first place causes bitterness when you're depending on them for it. This is where we get the "I deserve better" & "You don't meet my needs" lines while on the other hand we get "What I do is never enough for you" & "You don't appreciate me".

-

If you both love each other and want this to work, give the benefit of the doubt. Don't immediately assume their mistakes are intentional and out of spite. Don't expect them to do an impossible task perfectly. Grow together. Heal together. Learn together. Lean on God together. If you don't let God be the need meeter in your relationship, you will eventually fail at the impossible task of always meeting each others' needs.

-

I learned this from John Kennedy Vaughan. Read his book "The Right Fight: How to Live a Loving Life" & Listen to his Podcast "The Right Fight"