Usher in the New Year learning about Yoni Masages. Karl Gerber, Workplace Lawyer chats with Rhemus Helms about California’s new employment laws until Rhemus Helms derails all normalcy and focuses in on having to fire the Yoni Lady at his cosplay ostrich ranch in Sun Valley, California due to AB5 the new California law about independent contractors. Gerber has no idea what a Yoni massage is. Yoni is a term for the female genital. Helms compares the Yoni Lady to the Mikveh lady, but Gerber disagrees. Helms forced Gerber to read reviews on the Yoni Lady. There are rave reviews on what she has done to a woman’s genital and how great the endive appetizer are when she throws a pussy pampering party. It becomes apparent 2020 will be the year of pampering oneself no matter how absurd it is. This is America’s craziest comedy. This was broadcast January 4, 2020 on KABC AM 790 7 PM PST. This is utter absurdity. Rhemus Helms allegedly sponsors this show through a generous grant from the Helms’ Foundation’s $5.14 Billion in Funding and 14 Inches of Endowment. Rhemus Helms made his initial penile seed money when his genital was infringed. He operates the cosplay Ostrich Ranch in Sun Valley, California where has a mile long bed. His worldwide distribution center in Fontana, California (shaped like a penis) manufactures the procreating sex robots that caused tiny earthquakes in Fontana due to large quantities of fluids seeping into the magna of the earth. The unauthorized Cindy D. model was recalled because men got stuck in her due to inaccurate descriptions she gave of her organs on re-run landline phone sex calls. Helms fathered Hinita Orchid Helms when he went to the Lucky 7 Tarzana Nuru Massage parlor to pay his gas bill and he wasn’t prepared. The conception chair is in the Smithsonian due to Helms’ fame and the fame of Nazuki, The World Famous Nuru Nurse. Helms contends on this episode Reverb, the whisper porn legend who can make men orgasm just be hearing her voice, is his daughter by immaculate conception. Talents like hers must originate with somebody with Helms’ level of endowment. Due to the odd and rather exciting nature of her parents, Hinita Orchid Helms is susceptible to dying of boredom (although this happens repeatedly). That is why Nazuki, who is an Oxford graduate in ancient erotic literature with an emphasis on Asian erotica, speaks in broken English with a Japanese accent when her real drawl is proper British (she is a related search term to Yoko Ono maybe because both of their fathers were Japanese business men mostly living in England). Hinita Orchid Helms is able to create a scent used in candles that simulates the human sexual experience. It is a true treat to have Rhemus Helms on the show. This is Episode 90 of the Karl Gerber, Workplace Lawyer Show heard every week without reruns at the times KABC Los Angeles believes the most number of listeners will hear. This isn’t dark comedy. It is more over the top, no stops. The internet listenership of this show is worldwide, and has increased more than 50% in the last two months. There is nothing else like this outrageous comedy on the radio, on TV, in the movies, the internet, or any comedy club. This is the best radio comedy of 2018, 2019, and hopefully 2020.