An idiot’s Handbook: How to Break into TV Without Even Trying—Recorded by an idiot.

The host is practicing their best “I’m totally calm” face while the makeup artist frantically dusts enough powder on them to resurface a road. Cameras loom around like robotic giraffes, and the director waves their arms like they’re conducting a symphony of panic.

Meanwhile, the audience—who have been bribed with snacks and vague promises of fame—sit there wondering if their clapping sounds fake. Suddenly, someone shouts “Quiet on set!”—as if silence will somehow make sense of the chaos.