Do you find yourself constantly overreacting to your partner’s words and actions, or do you often overthink simple things and always assume the worst? Everyone faces challenges and struggles in life, and it's natural to feel overwhelmed or uncertain at times, but it's important to remember that there are ways to reduce overthinking so you can be your best self and enjoy life. In this episode, Alicia Munoz discusses the five rumination cycles that destroy relationships and four simple ways to break these cycles. Alicia Muñoz, LPC, is a certified couples therapist, and author of four books, most recently "Stop Overthinking Your Relationship: Break the Cycle of Anxious Rumination to Nourish Love, Trust, and Connection With Your Partner" (New Harbinger Publications, 2022). Muñoz currently works as a Senior Writer at Psychotherapy Networker and as a couples therapist in private practice. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 3:17 How overthinking obstructs connection and relationships. 13:56 What rumination in relationships looks like. 18:08 The five rumination cycles. 27:41 How attachment styles influence rumination. 31:16 Four simple ways to reduce the amount of overthinking. 41:22 The significance of having direct contact with oneself. 47:25 How to break the cycle of anxious rumination in your relationship. Mentioned  Stop Overthinking Your Relationship: Break the Cycle of Anxious Rumination to Nurture Love, Trust, and Connection with Your Partner (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) The 7 Hidden Relationship-Wreckers (free mini course) Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication Connect with Alicia Muñoz Websites: aliciamunoz.com Facebook: facebook.com/aliciamunozlpc Twitter: twitter.com/aliciamunozlpc LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/aliciamunozlpc Instagram: instagram.com/aliciamunozcouples Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!    *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.  

ERP 352: How Overthinking Interferes With Connection In Relationship — An Interview With Alicia Muñoz

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The absence of clear personal boundaries can lead to numerous challenges in relationships. Without defined boundaries, individuals may find themselves constantly overwhelmed by the demands and expectations of others, leading to feelings of resentment, frustration, and even powerlessness. Moreover, conflicts can escalate, communication can break down, and genuine connection becomes increasingly elusive without firm boundaries in place. Essentially, the problem of not having boundaries manifests as a pervasive struggle to maintain authenticity, self-respect, and healthy interpersonal dynamics. In this episode, the discussion centers on the transformative power of consistently upholding boundaries despite potential pushback. Through insightful anecdotes and practical advice, listeners will gain valuable insights into identifying their core needs, overcoming fear, and building trust within relationships. Whether grappling with familial, professional, or personal boundaries, this episode offers actionable strategies for asserting oneself and cultivating fulfilling connections. Abby Medcalf is a Relationship Maven, psychologist, author, podcast host, and TEDx speaker who helps people think differently so they can create connection, ease, and joy in their relationships. She brings a fresh perspective to life’s struggles using humor, research, and her direct, no-nonsense style. She's the author of “Boundaries Made Easy”, bestseller “Be Happily Married, Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing”, and hosts the top-rated Relationships Made Easy Podcast, reaching 170+ countries. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 4:59 From addiction to authority: Abby Medcalf’s journey to boundary mastery. 9:43 Understanding boundaries as not just a component, but a fundamental structure in relationships and business dynamics. 12:23 The impact of congruence between conscious and subconscious signals on how others perceive and respond to us. 20:07 Understanding the spectrum of boundaries and the impact of disregarding them. 27:06 Establishing clear standards and responses for personal empowerment. 39:22 Defining personal standards and boundaries for empowered relationships. 47:49 Making your way from complaints to core needs. Mentioned Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won't Do a Thing (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Feelings Chart (*Hoffman Institute link) (pdf) Relationship Map To Happy, Lasting Love Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication  Connect with Dr. Abby Medcalf Websites: abbymedcalf.com Facebook: facebook.com/abbymedcalf YouTube: youtube.com/user/AbbyMedcalfThriving Instagram: instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/abby-medcalf-phd-718969b8 TikTok: tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd Podcast:  Relationships Made Easy Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!    *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

ERP 424: How to Stand Firm in Your Boundaries — An Interview with Dr. Abby Medcalf

Have you ever wondered why you react the way you do in certain situations or why certain relationships feel so challenging? In many cases, individuals may not realize how past trauma is influencing their present relationships and personal well-being. In this episode, we talk about trauma, its various forms, and its profound impact on individuals and their connections with others. Featuring expert insights from a leader in the field of trauma therapy, the conversation sheds light on how trauma from our formative years can shape our adult behaviors and interactions. Through an in-depth examination of cutting-edge therapeutic approaches such as internal family systems, and emotional focus therapy, this discussion provides valuable tools and strategies for identifying, addressing, and healing these deep psychological wounds. Discover how to reconnect with your inner wisdom and potentially transform your relationships and self-perception, moving towards more empowered connections. Frank Anderson, MD, completed his residency at Harvard Medical School. He is both a psychiatrist and a psychotherapist. He specializes in the treatment of trauma and dissociation and is passionate about integrating current neuroscience knowledge with the IFS model of therapy. His most recent book, entitled “Transcending Trauma: Healing Complex PTSD with Internal Family Systems” was released on May 19, 2021. His memoir, “To Be Loved,” is set to be released on May 7, 2024. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 03:26 Understanding the multifaceted nature of trauma. 09:33 Understanding the connection between present-day struggles and unresolved childhood trauma. 19:01 The dynamics of emotional intimacy within relationships, particularly in the context of therapeutic approaches like Emotional Focus Therapy (EFT) and Internal Family Systems (IFS). 26:02 Understanding trauma responses and their varied manifestations. 32:45 Embracing healing and reconnecting with self. 43:32 Inspiring collective healing through personal narrative. Mentioned To Be Loved: A Story of Truth, Trauma, and Transformation (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Transcending Trauma: Healing Complex PTSD with Internal Family Systems (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Connect with Dr. Frank Anderson Websites: frankandersonmd.com Facebook: instagram.com/frank_andersonmd LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/frank-anderson-654b1836 Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!    *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

ERP 423: How To Transcend Trauma (And The Effects Experience In Relationship) — An Interview With Dr. Frank Anderson

Jealousy is a complex emotional response often triggered by feelings of insecurity and fear of loss, and can profoundly impact personal relationships. It typically arises when an individual perceives a threat to a valued relationship, whether the threat is real or imagined. This emotion can lead to behaviors aimed at preventing loss, such as excessive monitoring or controlling tendencies, yet these actions often exacerbate the fears driving the jealousy. In this episode, we delve into pervasive issues surrounding jealousy, uncovering their origins rooted in individual past experiences and amplified by today's social media-driven culture. The discussion offers valuable insights into the psychological patterns contributing to jealous behaviors. You'll discover practical tips and methods for self-regulation, including breathing exercises and strategies for improving communication with partners. Emphasizing self-awareness and the conscious choice in responding to relationship stressors, this episode aims to transform approaches to trust and connection, empowering individuals to cultivate healthier, more secure emotional bonds. Shanenn Bryant is the founder and CEO of Top Self, a self-development company offering coaching, courses, and community to those with feelings of low self-worth, insecurity, and jealousy in their relationship. Using her instructional design certification Shanenn has developed many sales, systems, and development skills courses and delivered more than 400 training classes. As a relationship confidence expert, and the host of the Top Self podcast, Shanenn has inspired thousands to break up with bogus beliefs, crack the control code, and overhaul their insecure habits. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 05:41 Shannon Bryant's mission to combat relationship insecurities. 08:51 Understanding the roots and impact of jealousy on relationships. 13:43 The interconnectedness of jealousy, anxiety, and insecurity, relating them to past experiences of relational trauma and insecure attachments. 26:01 The tendency to be attracted to unavailable partners as a means of avoiding self-reflection and confronting personal issues. 27:13 The role of technology in exacerbating jealousy and practical steps to address it. 34:37 Balancing trust and vigilance: Navigating the fine line in relationships. 37:51 Strategies for overcoming jealousy addiction. 41:03 The concept of jealousy as a symptom rather than the problem itself, emphasizing its role as a solution signaling underlying issues. 47:38 Coaching, resources, and trust-building programs for overcoming jealousy. Mentioned Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication  Connect with Shanenn Bryant Websites: topself.com Instagram: instagram.com/topselfcoach Podcast: topself.com/podcast — TOP SELF | Tips on Jealousy in Relationships, Anxiety, and Insecurity Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!    *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

ERP 422: How To Work Through Jealousy & Insecure Tendencies In Relationship — Shanenn Bryant

Keeping the flame of passion alive in a relationship can be a challenging endeavor, especially amidst the demands and stresses of everyday life. From managing work responsibilities to navigating household chores and family commitments, couples often find themselves caught up in a whirlwind of obligations, leaving little room for fun and positive connections. In this episode, we explore actionable strategies and valuable insights aimed at addressing the challenge of maintaining fun and positivity in a relationship. From practical tips to infuse joy into everyday moments to revitalizing the bond between partners, we offer guidance on reigniting the spark and fostering a deeper connection amidst life's demands. Arlene Pellicane is a renowned author and speaker specializing in marriage and parenting. She has been featured on numerous media outlets such as The Today Show, Wall Street Journal, Focus on the Family, Fox & Friends, TLC’s Home Made Simple, FamilyLife Today, and The 700 Club. Arlene also hosts the Happy Home podcast and has authored popular books like "31 Days to a Happy Husband" and "31 Days to Becoming a Happier Wife". Alongside her husband James of over 25 years, Arlene resides in the San Diego area with their three children: Ethan, Noelle, and Lucy. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 06:43 Arlene’s journey from being raised in a loving family to becoming a champion of healthy relationships. 10:55 Cultivating daily intimacy. 14:42 Nurturing connection through fresh perspectives. 21:58 The importance of scheduling regular dates in maintaining a thriving relationship. 26:44 Rediscovering playfulness and adventure, especially for couples who may have lost touch with these aspects of their connection. 30:15 Strategies for couples feeling overwhelmed by the responsibility of planning weekly or bi-monthly dates. 33:13 Cultivating connection through regular getaways. 40:13 The importance of maintaining a positive focus on connection during designated relationship rituals like date nights and getaways. Mentioned National Marriage Week USA Calm, Cool, and Connected: 5 Digital Habits for a More Balanced Life (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) 31 Days to a Happy Husband: What a Man Needs Most from His Wife (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Wife (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Atomic Habits (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) ERP 089: How to Use Love Languages to Strengthen Connection ERP 090: How to Use Love Languages to Strengthen Connection – Part Two Relationship Map To Happy, Lasting Love  Connect with Arlene Pellicane Websites: arlenepellicane.com/about Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nationalmarriageweek   X (twitter):  https://twitter.com/marriageweekusa  Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/nationalmarriageweekusa Podcast: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-happy-home-podcast-with-arlene-pellicane (Apple Podcast link) Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!    *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

ERP 421: How To Keep The Fun & Positivity Alive In Relationship — An Interview With Arlene Pellicane

Loneliness and disconnection in relationships can often stem from unmet needs for emotional connection. When one partner reaches out for support, validation, or understanding, and their bids go unnoticed or ignored, it can lead to feelings of isolation and alienation. This lack of responsiveness can create a sense of being unheard or unseen, deepening the emotional distance between partners. Over time, repeated instances of unmet bids can erode trust and intimacy, leaving individuals feeling unfulfilled and disconnected in their relationship. In this episode, Laura Heck and Dr. Jessica Higgins delve into the importance of turning towards your partner in a relationship to address feelings of loneliness and disconnection. By understanding the bidding system in relationships and learning to respond with empathy and curiosity, individuals can build stronger connections with their partners. This episode emphasizes the significance of acknowledging past traumas, developing new skills, and fostering grace and understanding to overcome emotional barriers and create a more fulfilling and intimate partnership. Laura Heck is a licensed marriage and family therapist, Certified Gottman Therapist, co-host of Marriage Therapy Radio, and host of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work workshop for couples. She speaks and trains for The Gottman Institute and is a regular media expert on the topic of intimate relationships. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 05:30 Laura Heck's journey into relationship support. 11:22 Understanding bids for connection in relationships. 16:27 Importance of positive to negative ratios in relationships. 21:23 Exploring bids and responses in relationship dynamics. 26:03 Understanding shutting down in relationships. 31:37 Responding to criticism and harsh startups. 33:18 Repairing miscommunications and misunderstandings. 42:32 Building compassion and empathy in relationships. 45:16 Addressing trust and misunderstandings in relationships. Mentioned The Gottman Institute The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert (*Amazon affiliate link) (book) Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication  Connect with Laura Heck Websites: marriagetherapyradio.com Facebook: facebook.com/marriagetherapyradio Twitter: twitter.com/forbetter_us Instagram: instagram.com/marriagetherapyradio Podcast: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/marriage-therapy-radio/id1295458667?mt=2 (Apple Podcast) Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!    *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

ERP 352: How Overthinking Interferes With Connection In Relationship — An Interview With Alicia Muñoz

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