Just like Roy, some people jump from one relationship to another because they believe that the right person is going to fix their relationship challenges. What they don’t realize is that they are just avoiding the pain. Eventually, they get hurt all over again and look for another relationship to fill the void. In this episode, Roy talks about self-sabotage in relationships, how that happens, and some tips to overcome them. Roy Biancalana is a certified relationship coach and a nationally recognized expert in the field of attraction and conscious relationships and is the host of the Attracting Lasting Love Podcast. Along with being a frequent TV analyst, Roy is the author of three number one best-selling books, the latest of which is Relationship Bootcamp: Hard-Core Training for Life, Love & the Pursuit of Intimacy. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 3:46 Roy's takeaways from failed relationships and limiting beliefs about love.  24:04 An illustration of self-sabotage and how a coach can help you become more self-aware.  27:42 Roy's seven relationship muscles for a healthy and sustainable connection.  34:12 A few pointers on how to change your mindset and overcome self-sabotage.  43:21 A relationship fitness test to evaluate yourself and how Roy can further assist you to get in great relationship shape. Mentioned The Attracting Lasting Love Podcast RELATIONSHIP BOOTCAMP: Hard-Core Training for Life, Love & the Pursuit of Intimacy book The Relationship Fitness Test Connect with Roy Biancalana Website: coachingwithroy.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/coachingwithroy YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/coachingwithroy/ Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!    *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

ERP 302: How To Avoid Self-Sabotage In Relationship — An Interview With Roy Biancalana

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Navigating end-of-life conversations can be emotionally challenging and riddled with uncertainties. Many individuals and families struggle to broach topics surrounding preferences for care, leaving them ill-prepared for crucial decisions during times of crisis. In this episode, we embark on a journey to explore practical strategies and insights aimed at facilitating these delicate discussions with compassion and clarity. By providing actionable guidance and fostering a deeper understanding of end-of-life care, this episode equips listeners with the tools needed to approach these conversations thoughtfully, empowering them to honor personal values and preferences with confidence. Dr. Bob and Elizabeth Uslander co-founded Empowered Endings, a unique palliative and end-of-life care model addressing the physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual needs of patients and families. Bob Uslander, MD, received his Medical Degree from the UCLA Geffen School of Medicine and practiced medicine in Emergency, Palliative, and end-of-life care for over 30 years. Elizabeth Uslander, MSW MTS, received her BA cum laude from Georgetown University and earned her Master's degrees at USC and Wesley Theological Seminary. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 03:49 Bob’s transition from emergency medicine to palliative care and the founding of Empowered Endings with Elizabeth. 09:12 Elizabeth’s journey in spiritual care and social work shaping palliative and end of life care focus. 11:47 Integrating end-of-life doulas in comprehensive care planning and support. 18:48 The importance of having proactive, intentional discussions about end-of-life preferences within couples. 32:54 The role of spiritual practices and emotional connection in navigating end-of-life conversations within relationships. 38:29 Cultivating readiness and practical tools for end-of-life conversations. Mentioned Links here  Connect with Dr. Bob and Elizabeth Uslander Websites: empoweredendings.com Facebook: facebook.com/empowerendings YouTube: youtube.com/@Empowered-Endings Instagram: instagram.com/empowered_endings_ LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/empowered-endings Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!    *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

ERP 426: How To Consider & Discuss End Of Life Care In Relationship — An Interview With Dr. Bob and Elizabeth Uslander

Ever wondered how happy couples navigate irreconcilable differences and still thrive? Arguments in relationships are both inevitable and impactful. While they often stir up feelings of frustration, anger, and sadness, they also hold the potential for profound growth and understanding between partners. When managed with care and intention, conflicts can uncover deep-seated issues, foster better communication, and ultimately strengthen the bond. In this episode, we explore how conflicts can become opportunities for growth and deeper connection. By focusing on emotional regulation, curiosity, and taking responsibility, couples can navigate differences with more understanding and empathy. Learn practical strategies for creating a safe environment and fostering open communication, transforming challenges into stepping stones for a stronger, more empowered relationship. Gain valuable insights and actionable tips to help you and your partner grow together through the ups and downs. Linda Bloom, L.C.S.W. is a psychotherapist and marriage counselor who teaches relationship workshops throughout the world. She and her husband, Charlie Bloom are co-authors of the widely acclaimed book, 101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married, Simple Lessons to Make Love Last, and Secrets of Great Marriages: Real Truths from Real Couples About Lasting Love, An End to Arguing: 101 Valuable Lessons for All Relationships and more. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 4:20 Cultivating a thirst for growth: Linda Bloom’s path to a harmonious relationship with her husband after a rocky beginning. 12:51 Balancing differences: How mutual respect and curiosity foster harmonious relationships. 19:02 Mastering the art of handling differences: A key to achieving optimal relational well-being for couples. 27:24 Strategies for managing heated conversations and building stronger connections in relationships. 37:46 Navigating conflicts through emotional regulation and sincere communication. 44:56 How emotional maturity and practical resources can strengthen your relationship. Mentioned 101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married: Simple Lessons to Make Love Last (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Secrets of Great Marriages: Real Truth from Real Couples about Lasting Love (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) An End to Arguing: 101 Valuable Lessons for All Relationships (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) The Gottman Institute  Connect with Linda Bloom Websites: bloomwork.com Facebook: facebook.com/lindaandcharliebloom X (twitter): twitter.com/bloomwork YouTube: youtube.com/channel/UCV3lPZs0gRNYCTQ6vgz4Q6Q Instagram: instagram.com/linda_charlie_bloom LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/lindacbloom Tumblr: tumblr.com/linda-charlie-bloom-blog Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!    *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

ERP 425: How To Find The Growth Opportunity In An Argument — An Interview With Linda Bloom

The absence of clear personal boundaries can lead to numerous challenges in relationships. Without defined boundaries, individuals may find themselves constantly overwhelmed by the demands and expectations of others, leading to feelings of resentment, frustration, and even powerlessness. Moreover, conflicts can escalate, communication can break down, and genuine connection becomes increasingly elusive without firm boundaries in place. Essentially, the problem of not having boundaries manifests as a pervasive struggle to maintain authenticity, self-respect, and healthy interpersonal dynamics. In this episode, the discussion centers on the transformative power of consistently upholding boundaries despite potential pushback. Through insightful anecdotes and practical advice, listeners will gain valuable insights into identifying their core needs, overcoming fear, and building trust within relationships. Whether grappling with familial, professional, or personal boundaries, this episode offers actionable strategies for asserting oneself and cultivating fulfilling connections. Abby Medcalf is a Relationship Maven, psychologist, author, podcast host, and TEDx speaker who helps people think differently so they can create connection, ease, and joy in their relationships. She brings a fresh perspective to life’s struggles using humor, research, and her direct, no-nonsense style. She's the author of “Boundaries Made Easy”, bestseller “Be Happily Married, Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing”, and hosts the top-rated Relationships Made Easy Podcast, reaching 170+ countries. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 4:59 From addiction to authority: Abby Medcalf’s journey to boundary mastery. 9:43 Understanding boundaries as not just a component, but a fundamental structure in relationships and business dynamics. 12:23 The impact of congruence between conscious and subconscious signals on how others perceive and respond to us. 20:07 Understanding the spectrum of boundaries and the impact of disregarding them. 27:06 Establishing clear standards and responses for personal empowerment. 39:22 Defining personal standards and boundaries for empowered relationships. 47:49 Making your way from complaints to core needs. Mentioned Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won't Do a Thing (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Feelings Chart (*Hoffman Institute link) (pdf) Relationship Map To Happy, Lasting Love Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication  Connect with Dr. Abby Medcalf Websites: abbymedcalf.com Facebook: facebook.com/abbymedcalf YouTube: youtube.com/user/AbbyMedcalfThriving Instagram: instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/abby-medcalf-phd-718969b8 TikTok: tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd Podcast:  Relationships Made Easy Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!    *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

ERP 424: How to Stand Firm in Your Boundaries — An Interview with Dr. Abby Medcalf

Have you ever wondered why you react the way you do in certain situations or why certain relationships feel so challenging? In many cases, individuals may not realize how past trauma is influencing their present relationships and personal well-being. In this episode, we talk about trauma, its various forms, and its profound impact on individuals and their connections with others. Featuring expert insights from a leader in the field of trauma therapy, the conversation sheds light on how trauma from our formative years can shape our adult behaviors and interactions. Through an in-depth examination of cutting-edge therapeutic approaches such as internal family systems, and emotional focus therapy, this discussion provides valuable tools and strategies for identifying, addressing, and healing these deep psychological wounds. Discover how to reconnect with your inner wisdom and potentially transform your relationships and self-perception, moving towards more empowered connections. Frank Anderson, MD, completed his residency at Harvard Medical School. He is both a psychiatrist and a psychotherapist. He specializes in the treatment of trauma and dissociation and is passionate about integrating current neuroscience knowledge with the IFS model of therapy. His most recent book, entitled “Transcending Trauma: Healing Complex PTSD with Internal Family Systems” was released on May 19, 2021. His memoir, “To Be Loved,” is set to be released on May 7, 2024. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 03:26 Understanding the multifaceted nature of trauma. 09:33 Understanding the connection between present-day struggles and unresolved childhood trauma. 19:01 The dynamics of emotional intimacy within relationships, particularly in the context of therapeutic approaches like Emotional Focus Therapy (EFT) and Internal Family Systems (IFS). 26:02 Understanding trauma responses and their varied manifestations. 32:45 Embracing healing and reconnecting with self. 43:32 Inspiring collective healing through personal narrative. Mentioned To Be Loved: A Story of Truth, Trauma, and Transformation (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Transcending Trauma: Healing Complex PTSD with Internal Family Systems (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Connect with Dr. Frank Anderson Websites: frankandersonmd.com Facebook: instagram.com/frank_andersonmd LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/frank-anderson-654b1836 Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!    *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

ERP 423: How To Transcend Trauma (And The Effects Experience In Relationship) — An Interview With Dr. Frank Anderson

Jealousy is a complex emotional response often triggered by feelings of insecurity and fear of loss, and can profoundly impact personal relationships. It typically arises when an individual perceives a threat to a valued relationship, whether the threat is real or imagined. This emotion can lead to behaviors aimed at preventing loss, such as excessive monitoring or controlling tendencies, yet these actions often exacerbate the fears driving the jealousy. In this episode, we delve into pervasive issues surrounding jealousy, uncovering their origins rooted in individual past experiences and amplified by today's social media-driven culture. The discussion offers valuable insights into the psychological patterns contributing to jealous behaviors. You'll discover practical tips and methods for self-regulation, including breathing exercises and strategies for improving communication with partners. Emphasizing self-awareness and the conscious choice in responding to relationship stressors, this episode aims to transform approaches to trust and connection, empowering individuals to cultivate healthier, more secure emotional bonds. Shanenn Bryant is the founder and CEO of Top Self, a self-development company offering coaching, courses, and community to those with feelings of low self-worth, insecurity, and jealousy in their relationship. Using her instructional design certification Shanenn has developed many sales, systems, and development skills courses and delivered more than 400 training classes. As a relationship confidence expert, and the host of the Top Self podcast, Shanenn has inspired thousands to break up with bogus beliefs, crack the control code, and overhaul their insecure habits. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 05:41 Shannon Bryant's mission to combat relationship insecurities. 08:51 Understanding the roots and impact of jealousy on relationships. 13:43 The interconnectedness of jealousy, anxiety, and insecurity, relating them to past experiences of relational trauma and insecure attachments. 26:01 The tendency to be attracted to unavailable partners as a means of avoiding self-reflection and confronting personal issues. 27:13 The role of technology in exacerbating jealousy and practical steps to address it. 34:37 Balancing trust and vigilance: Navigating the fine line in relationships. 37:51 Strategies for overcoming jealousy addiction. 41:03 The concept of jealousy as a symptom rather than the problem itself, emphasizing its role as a solution signaling underlying issues. 47:38 Coaching, resources, and trust-building programs for overcoming jealousy. Mentioned Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication  Connect with Shanenn Bryant Websites: topself.com Instagram: instagram.com/topselfcoach Podcast: topself.com/podcast — TOP SELF | Tips on Jealousy in Relationships, Anxiety, and Insecurity Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!    *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

ERP 302: How To Avoid Self-Sabotage In Relationship — An Interview With Roy Biancalana

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