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Even If!
“Even If”
During my early years as a Christian, I struggled with self-worth issues and seeing myself in Christ, as He saw me.
Shortly after being released from jail, I met a man at Bible college. We instantly hit it off.
I know it was God bringing this man into
my life - I needed good friends, Bible-believing, God-fearing friends and so what a blessing it was to have this man in my life!
We both had such a love for Jesus and for others!
We hung out all the time - we talked for hours about God, about
ministry ideas, about the future.
He wanted to start a soup kitchen to feed the hungry and I was going to be the preacher!
He was the best man at my wedding.
We both had sons named Isaiah.
We made the perfect team - He loved to worship and sing, I loved to make noise and preach!
As time went on, our families grew and although we still had a passion for ministry, our dreams got put on the back burner for a while.
What a blessing and honor to have this man in my life! He taught me how to step outside my shell, how to love others just as they were, how to be a giver, and love unconditionally, how to see myself in Christ!
As it happened, I took a new job at a maximum-security prison for juveniles about 45 minutes down the road from him.
I was in charge of driving our new recruits to and from the training facility.
One day, after training was over, we all loaded into the van and I was about to take my seat behind the wheel when I received a phone call.
It was my best friend’s brother.
He said, “Maurice passed away last night in his sleep.”
I was frozen.
All I could say was, “Thank you for letting me know.”
I hung up the phone and drove in silence back to the prison, finished out the day, and went home.
As soon as I got home, I pulled Mitzi into the back bedroom, we sat down and I told her, “Maurice passed away.”
We both cried and cried and cried! We sobbed!
We were heartbroken.
He was 30 years old, had just gotten married, had 4 children with one on the way.
It took me two years to fully “get over” what had happened - to fully heal from what had happened.
There were days when I would just start crying out of nowhere.
I would remember something, see something, hear something, and just start weeping.
He was my best friend and I was devastated.
I was never mad at God, but there were many times when the why questions flooded
my mind.
The healing process took quite some time and the Lord is so gracious, He was there with me, with us, through it all!
Joshua Scott Zeitz
“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:8 KJV
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By Joshua Scott Zeitz“Even If”
During my early years as a Christian, I struggled with self-worth issues and seeing myself in Christ, as He saw me.
Shortly after being released from jail, I met a man at Bible college. We instantly hit it off.
I know it was God bringing this man into
my life - I needed good friends, Bible-believing, God-fearing friends and so what a blessing it was to have this man in my life!
We both had such a love for Jesus and for others!
We hung out all the time - we talked for hours about God, about
ministry ideas, about the future.
He wanted to start a soup kitchen to feed the hungry and I was going to be the preacher!
He was the best man at my wedding.
We both had sons named Isaiah.
We made the perfect team - He loved to worship and sing, I loved to make noise and preach!
As time went on, our families grew and although we still had a passion for ministry, our dreams got put on the back burner for a while.
What a blessing and honor to have this man in my life! He taught me how to step outside my shell, how to love others just as they were, how to be a giver, and love unconditionally, how to see myself in Christ!
As it happened, I took a new job at a maximum-security prison for juveniles about 45 minutes down the road from him.
I was in charge of driving our new recruits to and from the training facility.
One day, after training was over, we all loaded into the van and I was about to take my seat behind the wheel when I received a phone call.
It was my best friend’s brother.
He said, “Maurice passed away last night in his sleep.”
I was frozen.
All I could say was, “Thank you for letting me know.”
I hung up the phone and drove in silence back to the prison, finished out the day, and went home.
As soon as I got home, I pulled Mitzi into the back bedroom, we sat down and I told her, “Maurice passed away.”
We both cried and cried and cried! We sobbed!
We were heartbroken.
He was 30 years old, had just gotten married, had 4 children with one on the way.
It took me two years to fully “get over” what had happened - to fully heal from what had happened.
There were days when I would just start crying out of nowhere.
I would remember something, see something, hear something, and just start weeping.
He was my best friend and I was devastated.
I was never mad at God, but there were many times when the why questions flooded
my mind.
The healing process took quite some time and the Lord is so gracious, He was there with me, with us, through it all!
Joshua Scott Zeitz
“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:8 KJV