Everyday I Do

Is your marriage working, or is it just quiet? And what would change if we stopped settling for a truce and asked God what he wants to build instead?

This episode, we look at the difference between a marriage that functions and one that flourishes. We talk about the couples who stay married to keep the peace, with separate bedrooms, separate bank accounts, and separate lives, and why a quiet house is not the same as a healthy marriage. We explain détente, a truce that leaves the real conflict unresolved, and how couples slide from healthy compromise into avoidance. We get honest about the fear, faithlessness, and fatigue that push us into self-protection mode, and why unaddressed issues with sex and porn do so much damage to intimacy.

We also talk about the idols that creep into marriage, including control, comfort, being right, recognition, and independence, and why negotiating around our selfishness will never be the same as surrendering it to Christ. We look at why survival mode is fine for a season but should never become our definition of a good marriage, with Scripture from Genesis 2, Philippians 2, and Ephesians 5. We close with four practical steps (identify the pattern, have the avoided conversations, practice forgiveness, and pursue Christ together) and an encouragement that we don't want to build marriages that merely work. We want to build marriages that witness.

If you would like prayer for your marriage, email us at [email protected]. We would love to pray for you and be an encouragement! You can also message us on Instagram at everyday_i_do_podcast.

Who’s waiting for whom to make the first move in your marriage? And what would change if you stopped waiting and just reached for their hand?

Last time we talked about how affection fades. This week, we get practical about bringing it back. We talk about why affection came so easily when we were dating, how marriage introduces familiarity and responsibility, and why intentionality matters when feelings aren’t enough. We get honest about the standoff many couples find themselves in, each waiting for the other to go first, and why Christ’s example (pursuing us while we were still sinners) gives us a better way.

We also talk about the “drought” that sets in when affection disappears, and how small things can start watering a dry marriage again: longer hugs, six-second kisses, texts during the day, simple dates, sticky notes, and four-dollar grocery store flowers. We tackle the harder conversation of unforgiveness and withheld affection, with Scripture from Ephesians 4, Philippians 2, and 1 Corinthians 13 on forgiving, putting your spouse first, and keeping no record of wrongs. We close with a seven-day challenge and an encouragement for couples at every stage: it’s never too late to start again.

If you would like prayer for your marriage, email us at [email protected]. We would love to pray for you and be an encouragement! You can also message us on Instagram at everyday_i_do_podcast.

When was the last time you reached for your spouse’s hand without thinking about it? And when did a quick peck goodbye start to feel like enough?

Every marriage goes through seasons, and not all of them feel close. In this episode, we start with a few verses from Song of Solomon and get honest about something that can be uncomfortable to talk about: what happens when affection quietly disappears and you start feeling more like roommates than husband and wife.

We talk about how it happens, usually gradually, through busy schedules, work stress, unresolved conflict, and little hurts that build up until we stop turning toward each other. We share our own season of disconnection after our move to Texas, and the moment we both knew something had to change. We also talk about the difference between affection and sex, why a hug doesn’t always have to lead somewhere, and how affection can get turned into a bargaining chip when resentment or selfishness creeps in.

We close by looking at what Scripture says in Song of Solomon, 1 Corinthians 7, and Ephesians 5 about the kind of self-giving love that moves us toward our spouse instead of away. Next time, in part two, we’ll talk about how to get the affection back.

If you would like prayer for your marriage, email us at [email protected]. We would love to pray for you and be an encouragement! You can also message us on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠everyday_i_do_podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠.

We close out this series with the heart of the matter: forgiveness. We talk through the real difference between forgiveness, reconciliation, and trust — why forgiveness can be released to God even when reconciliation isn't possible or safe, and why trust has to be rebuilt slowly even after someone has genuinely changed. We share a story of a father's silent treatment, years of walking on eggshells, and how forgiveness offered before it was "deserved" eventually opened the door to full reconciliation — including his own salvation.

We also talk about Christ as the model and source of all forgiveness, what it looked like to make Him Lord in the middle of real hardship, and what it means that He is constant when people aren't. We close with a direct word to anyone listening who has been abused or who has caused harm: abuse is sin, it must be named as such, getting help isn't a lack of faith, repentance is always possible, and ultimately our hope isn't in a marriage looking good on the outside — it's in Christ alone.

In this episode:

• The real difference between forgiveness, reconciliation, and trust
• A personal story of a father's silent treatment — and the reconciliation that followed
• Christ as the source and model of forgiveness
• Why getting help is soul care, not a lack of faith
• Why genuine repentance always produces fruit over time
• A closing word to both victims and abusers listening

A note for listeners: this episode discusses abuse in detail, including personal experience. If this is a heavy topic for you, take care while listening.

Continuing our conversation on abuse in marriage, we turn to what Scripture actually says — starting with God's design for marriage as a picture of Christ's sacrificial love, not domination. We walk through key passages (Ephesians 5:25, Colossians 3:19, 1 Peter 3:7) that call husbands to gentleness and honor, and then get honest about how these same truths get twisted: submission weaponized as control, forced forgiveness, pressure to "stay together at any cost," and the misuse of the church's stance on divorce to keep victims trapped.

We also talk through what safety looks like in serious situations — including when separation (not divorce) may be necessary, and when biblical counselors become mandatory reporters. From there, we dig into what real biblical counseling actually looks like: getting to the root of abusive behavior (pride, entitlement, fear, jealousy) without ever using that understanding to excuse the sin, and what genuine repentance requires — confession, accountability, transparency, and real changed behavior over time, not just an apology.

We close by speaking directly to anyone listening who's in this situation: what to do if you're afraid to tell anyone, what to say to those who've been told to "just submit and pray harder," and what God's heart actually is toward someone fighting for their marriage even when their spouse won't.

In this episode:

• What God's design for marriage actually is — and how domination distorts it
• Key Scriptures on how husbands are called to treat their wives
• Ways Scripture gets twisted to justify control: submission, forgiveness, staying together
• Safety, separation, and when mandatory reporting comes into play
• What biblical counseling looks for at the root of abusive behavior
• What real repentance looks like — and what it isn't
• A direct word to anyone currently afraid to speak up

A note for listeners: this episode discusses abuse in detail. If this is a heavy topic for you, take care while listening.

If you would like prayer for your marriage or anything at all, email us at [email protected]. We would love to pray for you and be an encouragement! You can also message us on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠everyday_i_do_podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠.

This is a subject we've never covered before — and one that isn't easy to talk about. As we've been training to become biblical counselors, we came across a topic we knew we couldn't skip: abuse in marriage and in the home. This conversation is deeply personal, because one of us grew up in a household that looked normal from the outside but carried real patterns of abuse and control underneath.

In this episode, we talk honestly about what abuse actually is — physical, verbal, emotional, financial, spiritual, coercive control, and gaslighting (including where that term actually comes from) — and draw a clear line between ordinary marital conflict and genuine abuse. From there, we open up about a personal story of growing up in that environment: the fear, the walking on eggshells, the way it shaped a child's sense of self and view of trust. We also talk honestly about where God was in the middle of it, and how a foundation of faith planted early can carry someone through even when they can't see Him working in the moment.

In this episode:

• What counts as abuse — physical, verbal, emotional, financial, spiritual, and coercive control
• Where the term "gaslighting" actually comes from
• The difference between marital conflict and abuse
• A personal story of growing up in an abusive home
• How childhood abuse shapes self-image, trust, and relationships later in life
• Wrestling with "where was God" — and finding He was closer than it felt

A note for listeners: this episode discusses abuse in detail, including personal experience. If this is a heavy topic for you, take care while listening.

If you would like prayer for your marriage or anything at all, email us at [email protected]. We would love to pray for you and be an encouragement! You can also message us on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠everyday_i_do_podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠.

In part one, we talked about what fasting is and why it matters. This week, we get practical: what does fasting actually look like, and what has it looked like in our own marriage?

We dig into the different forms fasting can take — from skipping one meal to a 21-day liquid fast — and tackle the questions people are often too uncomfortable to ask, including what 1 Corinthians 7:5 means when it talks about fasting from sex. We share honest stories from our own life: a one-day fast that led to a call from our pastor the very next day about starting a marriage ministry, and a three-day fast about moving to Texas that didn't get answered for six months.

We also talk about what fasting isn't — it's not a diet, it's not a way to manipulate God, and it's not about impressing anyone — and walk through Isaiah 58's warning against empty fasting. Most importantly, we talk about why fasting together, as a couple, builds a kind of intimacy and shared vision that praying together alone doesn't.

If you would like prayer for your marriage or anything at all, email us at [email protected]. We would love to pray for you and be an encouragement! You can also message us on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠everyday_i_do_podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠.

It's one of the most talked-about disciplines in Scripture — and one of the most avoided in real life. This week, we tackle fasting head-on: what it actually is, why Jesus assumed His followers would do it, and what it reveals about what's really running our lives.

Walking through biblical examples from Moses, David, Esther, Daniel, Jesus, and the early church, we unpack the different reasons people fast — repentance, breakthrough, direction, preparation — and get honest about our own experiences fasting from coffee, social media, and phone notifications (and how much it exposed). We also introduce a question worth sitting with: if someone looked at your calendar and your spending habits, what would they say you hunger for the most?

This episode lays the groundwork for part two, where we dig into what happens when husbands and wives fast together — and why it might be exactly what a struggling marriage needs.

In this episode:

• What fasting is (and isn't) from a biblical perspective
• Six biblical examples of fasting and what each one teaches
• Why fasting reveals what controls us — food, comfort, screens, control itself
• 1 Corinthians 6:12 and the difference between what's lawful and what's mastering you
• A preview of part two: fasting as a couple

If you would like prayer for your marriage or anything at all, email us at [email protected]. We would love to pray for you and be an encouragement! You can also message us on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠everyday_i_do_podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠.

What does it actually mean for a husband to lead his family well? In this episode, we dig into one of the most repeated phrases in David's story — "David inquired of the Lord" — and unpack what it reveals about real spiritual leadership. From battles to betrayal to brand-new seasons of life, David's habit of constantly seeking God (not just in emergencies) offers a powerful contrast to King Saul, who wanted answers without relationship.

We talk candidly about what this looks like in everyday marriage — finances, parenting, screen time, conflict, career changes, even big moves (like our own move from Washington to Texas) — and why the strongest husbands aren't the ones with all the answers, but the ones who know exactly where to find them.

If you're a husband trying to lead well, or a wife praying for one, this episode will challenge you to make prayer the steering wheel of your family — not the emergency brake.

If you would like prayer for your marriage or anything at all, email us at [email protected]. We would love to pray for you and be an encouragement! You can also message us on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠everyday_i_do_podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠.

What if the greatest threat to your marriage isn't a dramatic crisis — but a single small compromise that seems completely harmless in the moment? And what happens when you start listening to the wrong voice, even when it sounds like it's coming from someone who knows better?

In this episode, we dive into one of the most unusual and sobering stories in all of Scripture — 1 Kings 13 — and unpack what a nameless prophet, a lion, and a donkey have to do with your marriage.

The young prophet in this story didn't abandon God. He simply stopped for one meal. But that one moment of misplaced trust revealed something deeper: he had allowed another voice to override a command God had already made crystal clear. And marriages face that same temptation every single day — through social media, well-meaning friends, unsolicited advice from coworkers, and a culture that says follow your heart and do what makes you happy.

We get practical about what it looks like to keep God's Word as the final authority in your marriage, why small compromises are more dangerous than big explosions, and how a strong marriage is built not by dramatic acts of faith, but by two people who choose faithfulness in the quiet, ordinary moments — day after day after day.

If you would like prayer for your marriage or anything at all, email us at [email protected]. We would love to pray for you and be an encouragement! You can also message us on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠everyday_i_do_podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠.