The Evidence Based Therapist

Everything’s Religious… Or Is It?: A Conversation with Darryl Schafer


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In this episode of The Evidence-Based Therapist, we sit down with local therapist and religious trauma specialist Darryl Schafer to explore how belief systems shape identity, belonging, and the development of the self—sometimes in deeply painful ways.

We discuss the relational nature of religious trauma, how clients internalize theological narratives as self-concepts, and why reclaiming the “abjected” parts of self is often central to healing. The conversation spans psychoanalysis, religious studies, developmental theory, grief, and the biology of belief—without collapsing spirituality into pathology or assuming religion is inherently harmful.

Topics we explore:

  • When religion becomes a totalizing identity structure
  • The “abjected self” and why shame becomes internal theology
  • Why religious trauma is relational—not just doctrinal
  • Neurodivergence, masking, and leaving high-control systems
  • Grief as a gateway to identity reconstruction
  • The therapist’s role: not a replacement God, but a new mirror
  • How belief systems shape belonging, moral vision, and connection

Whether you're a therapist working with clients of faith, someone navigating deconstruction, or simply curious about the psychology of belief, this conversation offers a grounded, relational, and non-pathologizing way to understand religion’s impact on the self.

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The Evidence Based TherapistBy Bridger Falkenstien and Caleb Boston

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