The critical inner voice is the language of this enemy. It is an internal dialogue that drives rumination, self-blame and self-loathing. It mocks us, shames us, scares us and lures us into self-limiting or self-destructive behavior. It tells us not to trust the people we love. It influences us to not try to reach a goal. It advises us and subdues us, keeping us seemingly safe inside a miserable, albeit familiar, shell.

Every one of us possesses this voice in one form or another. Perhaps yours is more focused on your career. “Don’t go after than promotion; just accept where you are. You’re not capable of success.” Maybe it lectures you on your love life. “Don’t bother dating. It’s useless. No one will ever love you. You’re doomed to be alone.” Hopefully, like most of us, there is a side to you that is positive, self-compassionate and confident, but you are also divided. And while one side is goal-directed and life-affirming, the other is self-critical, self-hating and, at its ultimate end, self-destructive.