Our first request and a huge thanks for the story idea!  It's one of the most memorable apologies ever given by a corporation. The Exxon Valdez oil spill of 1989 was the largest environmental disaster in American history.  11 million gallons of oil covered 1,300 miles of coastline and killed off 250,000 birds and thousands of marine mammals.  The Exxon Valdez story has it all: a drunken sea captain easily blamed, an unqualified pilot operating without radar, corporate greed, and an innocent town full of hardworking people awakening to a tar-black sea - it was the biggest story of the time and 30 years later is a story that continues to prove that corporations are greedy liars who greed and lie.  There's a reason that Exxon was fined 5 billion dollars in punitive damages, and it can be summed up in two words: corporate negligence.  And there's also a reason why that fine was reduced by 90% to $500 million dollars: greedy liars.

It's 30 years later and there are still 55 tons of oil on the beaches of Alaska.  But don't worry because Exxon did great and is bigger than ever!  They barely even remember the spill but they are pretty sure they acted quickly and heroically, no matter what those sleepy townsfolk might have said about it at the time.  And look, who needs so many birds anyway?

Certainly not UFOs.  It's almost impossible to connect UFOs to birds, or to oil spills for that matter.  But we find a way!