There’s a saying that life is what happens while you’re busy planning. While you may try to be ready for every eventuality, setbacks will happen no matter how much you prepare. We’ve all been in a situation in which an obstacle or event has left us feeling intimidated or even frightened. It’s important to view these times not as an invitation to give up but rather as a chance to prove our mettle.

1. Think of someone less fortunate. Remind yourself that what you are going through is relative in nature. Think of others who are facing even bigger obstacles than yourself. Be thankful that your challenges are not as intense. Then take a deep breath, make a plan of action and prepare for both the best and the worst scenarios. Being in the game is half the battle.

2. Reframe your fear. Neuroscience says the more we think about something, the bigger it gets. Acknowledge your fears, acknowledge your sense of feeling overwhelmed and ask yourself, “What’s another perspective? Are my assumptions really true? Could the challenges be reframed as opportunities?” Break things down into bite-sized pieces. Focus on one thing you can control, then the next. It’s normal to feel afraid at times—don’t be harsh on yourself. 3. Engage in self-talk. When fear arises, we are often too quick to react to it, but living it out or pushing it aside only feeds it further. Connect to the truth of the fear. What scares you is what you’re experiencing internally, not externally. Go within. Talk to that part of yourself that’s trying to tell you something, and go past the irrationality of it to find the wisdom behind the fear. Then, courage will emerge.

4. Let go of what you fear to lose. Someone like Deepak Chopra would tell us to practice “detachment” from outcomes, but I think Yoda said it best when he urged that we must train ourselves “to let go of everything you fear to lose.” Fear of losing those things is usually strong enough to prevent us from accepting the loss. If we can imagine a life “without the thing” we can proceed with courage (and be “detached” from the outcome)

5. Break down the action steps. Often when we feel fear our brain makes up worst-case scenarios, which can keep us stuck. Reality-check the obstacle by writing the facts down. Getting over or through the challenge is a series of steps, not a giant leap. Write down the steps of what it will take to get through this and do the first thing on the list and then the next thing. Before you know it, you have tackled the challenge head-on.

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