FAILocracy

http://www.FAILocracy.com When America needs a new great communicator in the white house, America needs Rick Santorum. His eloquence on racial issues is unrivaled. In defending the definition of marriage against homosexuality, he’s the master of metaphor, ; He words channel the founding fathers. His mastery of language even extends to languages most linguists believe to not even exist.

New York GOP representative Christopher Lee has resigned in a statement read on the House floor after a shirtless photo of him soliciting a woman he met on Craigslist surfaced Wednesday Gawker has outed married Conservative New York congressman Christopher Lee for soliciting a woman on craigslist and sending a shirtless photo to her, ;which you can see here- WOAH!! Lucky for him they lifted the DC gun ban! Lee replied to the woman's craigslist posting on which she inquired as to whether there were any men on craigslist who didn't look like toads, but,

There was a new development this week in the historic incident of DEA agent Lee Paige, who accidentally shot himself in the foot during a youth presentation in 2004. Paige filed a federal lawsuit against the U.S. government, complaining that the DEA leaked the video, which he states appeared on such familiar shows as the Jay Leno Show, a Curreent Affair, and Jimmy Kimbel (kimmel) Live. Paige claims that the embarrassment and publicity has ruined his career as both public speaker (like Tony Robbins) and undercover officer (like Tony Robbins with a mustache) which linguists agree is the most oxymoronic combination of terms since "gay Republicans." It must have been difficult for Paige to watch his reputation to America's youth sink from "Respected Federal Agent" to "nothing but a big fat doo-doo-head" But a judge threw out the case this week, so Paige's attempt to gain financial compensation for the embarrassment has only served to remind us of the incident so he could face more embarrassment as we note that he has once again shot himself in the foot. This has been a great moment in FAIL. Music from incompetech.com

I was shocked, SHOCKED to hear Pat Robertson speaking reasonably about drug policy... or anything at all, for that matter.

http://www.FAILocracy.com

Palin tells Glenn Beck that we need to stand by our "NORTH Korean Allies."

http://www.FAILocracy.com Joe Biden mixes up right and left hands during the swearing in of Mark Kirk.

Since the knowledgeable Jan Brewer behacomed Arizona's governor, everything has changed."We have changed everything since I have behacome your governor."She has done everything she possibly could do, including the following.AWKWARD SILENCEUhh, let me assist you on this one, Jan. Didn't you say you balanced the budget.. ;"We have balanced the budget."Others who are apparently uninformed say that Arizona faces up to a $700 million shortfall, but how can you trust any information that comes from Arizona's Joint Legislative Budget Committee?But Jan Brewer has spoken out against the beheadings that have taken place in Arizona because of illegal immigration. These violent decapitations have gone on too far, and they must be stopped or uhhh... well, maybe... maybe nobody knows about it except her.Vote Berry Hess, I mean, uhhh, Jan Brewer, for Arizona Governor. I mean, she couldn't just be making this crap up, right?

I'm driving a VW Passat TDI that I bought by the border from Arizona to Vegas to meet up with my brother. The day before, I met GloZell: www.youtube.com/user/glozell1

"It's a free country. I wish it weren't, but it's a free country." - Deval Patrick, governor of MassachusettsHe probably meant that he wished Glenn Beck's rally wouldn't have been in the place/time it was. But is that what he said? No. Why do I care? Because it's funny.