Have you ever felt like you had to hold it all together for everyone else, only to realize you were falling apart inside? In this episode of the Faith•Full Podcast, AJ opens her journal from November 6, 2024, and shares raw reflections on what she calls the “Savior Complex.”

After experiencing two extremes: saving everyone at the expense of herself, and isolating completely to protect her peace. Both left her feeling empty — drained by over-giving, or guilty for pulling back. Through solitude, guilt, and even recent dream, God revealed a new way: to love without losing herself.

This episode is about learning the difference between self-sacrifice that drains and selfless love that heals. It’s about catching old habits in real time, changing your mindset so your actions follow, and walking daily in the balance God calls us to.

What You’ll Hear in This Episode:

• Why over-giving and complete isolation are two sides of the same Savior Complex.
• The heavy guilt AJ carried when she pulled away to heal.
• How shrinking and being “palatable” shows up as another form of self-sacrifice.
• The dream that revealed what it meant to finally “get out of the car.” "take the wheel:
• How God is reviving her passion to help others from a place of overflow, not depletion.
• Why healing from decades of the Savior Complex is a daily walk, and how awareness and daily decisions change everything

Reflection Question for You:

Where in your life are you carrying guilt about how you show up for others — and what would balance look like for you?

Listen if you’ve ever:

• Struggled with guilt when isolating or in solitude.

• Felt like you had to save or fix people.

• Swung between over-giving and shutting down.

• Needed encouragement to love yourself and others in balance.

Is unconditional love really unconditional? Or does it depend on how you define love?

In this episode of the faith•full podcast, I’m sitting with the messy, tender space between holding on and letting go and what it really means to love without conditions while still honoring your own peace.

For so many of us, unconditional love has been confused with unconditional tolerance or self-abandonment. But here’s the truth: love doesn’t disappear when you set boundaries. It doesn’t vanish when you let someone go. Love simply transforms.

I’ll share my personal reflections on how unconditional love shows up in my life, the difference between conditions and limitations, and why boundaries are not a betrayal of love but a deeper expression of it.

If you’ve ever struggled with the tension of loving people deeply while also needing distance, this episode will remind you that love is not possession, attachment, or endurance. Love is who we are and living as love means choosing both compassion and truth.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• Why your definition of love is shaped by your lived experiences.
• The difference between conditions (control) and limitations (alignment)
• Why unconditional love ≠ unconditional tolerance.
• How love transforms when relationships shift.
• Boundaries as an act of love and emotional maturity.

Takeaway: You can love fully and still walk in peace. The love doesn’t end; it simply takes a new form.

Reflection Question:

Where in your life do you need to let love transform, not end; so that you can honor both your peace and your truth?

In this week's episode of the Faith•Full Podcast, I’m taking you deeper; past the aha moment of remembering your worth, into the lived experience of walking in it. Every day, we’re choosing: Will I act from my wounds, or from my worth? From the way you show up in your work life, friendships, to how you give, to how you deal with comparison.

I talk about what I’m personally learning in this season:

• Releasing codependent patterns.
• Honoring my gifts without overextending.
• Recognizing how the fear of not being enough sneaks into my work, relationships, and giving.
• And how choosing worthiness daily is a practice, not a perfect place.

You’ll hear real-time reflections on what I’ve been unlearning in friendships, how I’m releasing codependency, and how misusing my gift of giving led to burnout.

And we get into that sneaky spirit of comparison; how it shows up, how to shift it, and why mutuality (not martyrdom) is what God truly desires for us.

If you’ve ever over-given, overworked, or overlooked yourself just to be seen; this episode is for you.

Key Talking Points:

• Daily awareness: Every decision you make is either rooted in your worth or your wounds.
• The misuse of your God Given gifts: Why I started resenting my giving, and what I learned about overflow vs. obligation in business and relationships.
• Codependency in friendships: What I’m letting go of, and the beauty of finally receiving without guilt.
• Comparison: How it stems from fear of not being enough; and the mindset shift that heals it.
• Heart posture shift: What it means to rejoice with others (Romans 12:15) without using their success to measure your lack.

Reflection Questions for Listeners:

• Where in your life are you still trying to earn what you already are?
• Are your actions rooted in the truth of your worth; or in fear of not being enough?
• Are you giving from overflow, or to prove something?
• Where am I still trying to prove my value instead of embodying it?
• In what relationships do I feel most drained? What am I giving to feel worthy?
• How does comparison affect the way I see my timeline, my purpose, or my success?

Closing Note:

And I want to personally invite you to come back for next week’s episode; we are talking all about my personal perspective on something we call unconditional love...stay tuned <3

For years, I tried to fill the empty spaces in me with love from all the wrong places. But there came a moment when I had to sit in front of the mirror — not the one that reflects your face, but the one that reflects your soul. And in that stillness, God began to transform me...by changing my mindset.

In this episode, I share the awakening that shifted my life:

When I broke down the story of Adam and Eve, I realized it wasn’t just about disobedience, it was about awareness. The moment they ate from the tree, they gained the awareness of self-judgment. Since then, humanity has been faced with the same two paths over and over: the path of brokenness or the path of wholeness. And the truth is: that choice shows up daily, in all things.

The Awareness Factor

Here’s where awareness matters most: “Serpent moments” are anything in life that makes you forget your worth or feel separate from God.

This can show up in many ways, but today I’m focusing on the three that shaped my journey the most:

• Un-forgiveness to self – Carrying your own mistakes like a life sentence, even after God has already forgiven you.
• Over-identifying with pain – Letting your hurt define who you are, instead of recognizing it as something you’ve been through and learn from.
• Shame about my past – Allowing old chapters to make me feel unworthy of love, opportunity, or blessing.

Next week, I’ll dive into two more:

• Comparison – Forgetting your unique design by measuring yourself against someone else’s highlight reel.
• Fear of not being enough – Overworking, over giving, and overcompensating to “earn” what was already yours.

Takeaway

Wholeness is a choice — every single day. The more you choose it, the more your life aligns with the worth and fullness that’s been yours all along.

In this Season 2 opener, I’m sharing the real story behind this podcast. How God first gave me the vision in 2022, why I didn’t move on it then, and what it took for me to finally return to it now.

This episode is both a closure and a new beginning.

You’ll hear me reflect on:

• Why I gave all my energy to someone else’s vision instead of my own
• The exhaustion that came from over-functioning in silence
• How grief revealed itself when I had to let that chapter go
• And what it really means to reclaim your voice after seasons of shrinking

This isn’t just a comeback, it’s a pivot back into purpose.

If you’ve ever delayed your calling or felt like you lost your voice along the way, this one’s for you.

I also explore a deeper question: What if the main point of being called is knowing when to pivot? When to let go? When to move: not based on comfort, but based on alignment?

Sometimes that looks like walking away. Sometimes purpose requires release. And sometimes the most faith•full thing you can do, is move when it’s time.

Resources & Mentions

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In this heartfelt episode of The Faith•Full Podcast, I sit down with my husband, Nigel Jolly, to share our unique love story. We take you on a journey through how we met, our spiritual journey that led us to marriage, and the leaps of faith we embraced along the way.

Key Topics:

1. Our Love Story
   • How we met and the path to our relationship.
   • The leaps and bounds we've taken leading to marriage.
2. The Importance of Walking in Faith
   • Embracing love after overcoming past traumas.
   • The pivotal moment we recognized each other as soulmates.
3. Societal Pressures of a Man
   • Nigel shares his journey with vulnerability and authenticity which ultimately ended up being the key in finding the wife he prayed for.
   • The transformative impact of meeting someone who values you for who you are and not what society predicates.
4. Choosing the Right Partner
   • The significance of a partner with a relationship with God and good character.
   • How embodying the fruits of the Spirit helps weather life's ups and downs.
5. Coming Into Relationships Whole
   • Approaching relationships with a sense of wholeness. Wholeness meaning to be yourself authentically, believe in yourself and to be in unity & harmony within yourself.
   • The importance of not needing your partner to “fix” you.
6. Seeing Each Other as Individuals
   • Embracing unique journeys while sharing a common vision.
   • The power of vulnerability and authenticity in building a faith-driven relationship.

Tune in to The Faith•Full Podcast for an episode filled with love, faith, and authenticity!

Together, we’ll highlight the significance of vulnerability and authenticity in building a faith-driven relationship. Tune in for an inspiring conversation that celebrates seeing one another for who we truly are and choosing to journey through life together as one.

WELCOME BACK TO EPISODE 5 OF THE FAITH•FULL PODCAST!

This week Ajah explores the profound journey of grieving, extending beyond physical death to encompass changes in beliefs, identity, and lifestyle. This episode dives into the emotional and spiritual dimensions of grieving and the importance of letting go of past beliefs and habits.

Understanding Grief in Context

• Definition of Grief: Grief is a natural response to loss, which can include changes in beliefs, identity shifts, and lifestyle adjustments.
• Types of Grief:
  • Cognitive Grief: Mourning outdated or harmful thought patterns.
  • Behavioral Grief: Letting go of old habits and routines.
  • Identity Grief: Shifting self-perception and roles.

Ajah’s Personal Journey

• Ajah shares her vulnerability regarding life changes and grieving:
  • Reflects on grieving the absence of a father figure and the journey of filling that void with God’s love.
  • Discusses grieving her old self, emphasizing the difficulty yet transformative nature of this process.
  • Shares experiences of grieving past visions and beliefs, acknowledging the shifts and new perspectives that have emerged.

The Process of Letting Go

• Acknowledge the Loss: Recognize the impact of old ways of thinking, habits, and beliefs on personal growth.
• Embrace Emotions: Allow space for feelings of sadness, confusion, and even anger during the grieving process.
• Reflect on the Past: Understand the significance of past beliefs and habits in shaping personal identity and experiences.

Moving Forward with Faith

• Faith as a Guiding Light: Utilizing faith to find strength and direction amidst change and uncertainty.
• Rebuilding and Renewing: Embracing new, healthier mindsets and lifestyles that align with personal growth and spiritual development.
• Community and Support: Seeking connection with others who share similar journeys of faith and transformation.

Ajah concludes by emphasizing the importance of recognizing and honoring the process of grieving in its various forms. Encourages listeners to find solace and strength in their faith, fostering a deeper connection with themselves, God and their spiritual journey. Lastly, sharing some of your responses anonymously on what you are personally grieving through.

These notes encapsulate Ajah’s exploration of grief beyond conventional boundaries, emphasizing personal growth, spiritual evolution, and the transformative power of faith.

Welcome back to another episode of the Faith•Full Podcast. This week we I dive into a life-changing revelation that I received around the topic of external validation. In a society and world where we find temporary fulfillment in validation from external forces, I will share how this unhealthy cycle has been a hinderance in my life. I'll share newfound wisdom on the topic as a whole. I'll break down how it plays a huge role with our faith in God and internal faith within ourselves. As you navigate this episode I encourage you to reflect on your personal validation process. You will leave understanding the difference between healthy validation versus unhealthy validation - knowing that true fufill•ment in this process comes from within and the one who created you. God. <3

This week on the Faith•Full Podcast we delve into the topic of peace, exploring its significance in our lives and the pathways to embodying it fully. Inspired by a recent profound sense of peace, we reflect on the journey towards experiencing and embodying peace in our lives.

Exploring Peace:

• Peace transcends worldly possessions; it surpasses the allure of money, success, and personal achievements.
• Defining peace as freedom from emotional and mental turmoil, we ponder its spiritual connotations and its contrast with inner conflicts.

Cultivating Inner Peace:

• Embracing kindness, compassion, non-judgment, acceptance, patience, and trust lays the foundation for peace within.
• Kindness fosters joy and optimism, leaving a positive impact on others.
• Compassion facilitates understanding and connection, nurturing peace, love, and belonging.
• Acceptance liberates us from the burden of control and perfectionism, clearing mental and emotional space for peace.

Finding Peace in Patience:

• Patience, intertwined with faith, empowers us to choose trust over fear, fostering inner calmness.
• Surrendering control and embracing faith allows us to navigate life's uncertainties with peace and confidence.

Cultivating Everyday Peace:

• Mindfulness, deep breathing, daily forgiveness, gratitude, and acceptance serve as daily practices to nurture peace.
• Connecting with nature, embracing authenticity, maintaining a positive mindset, and practicing presence contribute to a life filled with peace.

In conclusion cultivating peace is a transformative journey that requires practice, humility, and a willingness to let go of ego. Yet, the peace attained through that surpasses understanding, enriching every aspect of our lives.

Episode notes

Welcome back to Episode 2 of the Faith•Full Podcast, on this episode we will embark on a journey to explore the profound question: "What is my purpose?" In this episode, we'll challenge conventional notions and delve into the idea that purpose isn't about reaching a fixed destination but rather about embracing a dynamic process of self-discovery and growth. By maintaining an authentic connection with our inner selves and spirituality, we can thrive wherever life plants us.

• Purpose is not a static endpoint but rather a dynamic journey filled with opportunities for personal evolution. Our focus should be on the process itself, as it yields the most rewarding outcomes.

Three Paths to Finding Purpose We'll explore three avenues through which purpose can be discovered:

1. Being and Knowing Your Worth: Recognizing that our value lies not in what we do but in who we are. Understanding that every circumstance has a purpose, and we bring value wherever we are planted.
2. Pain Gives Purpose: Our past struggles can become sources of passion and purpose as we use our experiences to help others. Faith serves as a guiding light through life's uncertainties.
3. Passions, Interests, and Strengths: Purpose can be found in our passions, interests, and unique strengths. By tapping into these areas, we can discover fulfilling paths forward.

Ending off with two questions to reflect on as you navigate your personal walk with purpose.