Are you an NHL player bummed to be missing your chance at Olympic glory? Follow our easy step-by-step guide to joining your brethren on Team Canada and bringing home the Gold. And all you have to do is be dead for a little while!

Plus 6 other brilliant options for deceiving the NHL that will leave Gary Bettman scratching his head while your biting on gold (cause they do that for some reason).

Plus we dive deep into the world of HockeySport, with thrilling, clickable, flavor-packed stories, including:

"The New York Islanders: Better or Worse than the dumpster fire 2012 LA Kings?"

"Are the Oilers Copying the Flames by Copying the Canucks?"

"7 nice compliments for the 7 shittiest, most embarrassing,  laughing-stock teams in the NHL"

"Expectations soar! The Canucks five-peat could become a seven-peat"

And so so much more more!