This is your captain speaking - Welcome aboard Aer Lingus! Upon takeoff, please ensure that your seat swing is properly fastened. In case of an emergency you will find Jackie's jean jacket under your swing. In the rare event of a bombshell revelation please remember to blame Melissa before blaming others. Our inflight entertainment will be a limerick performed by Jenn Fesler about the time she smushed Tony Soprano. The inflight meal will be pineapple served with a face full of Guinness foam. When it comes to lingus we know you have other options and that’s why we thank you have choosing Aer Lingus, where your lingus is Aer Lingus. 

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