Family Goals (Eph 6:1–4) from South Woods Baptist Church on Vimeo.

Babies do not come with instruction manuals tied to their ankles. New parents anticipate the birth of their baby, welcoming the little bundle of joy with great delight. Under the careful eyes of well-trained nurses, they master the art of diaper changing, feeding, and burping before being discharged with the necessary but always cumbersome car seat. They drive home, spot the welcoming ribbon in appropriate color on the door, and unload their precious cargo to the newly decorated baby room. Then the fun begins. What do we do with this “thing”?

That “thing” has a unique personality with temperament, disposition, and desires bent in distinct directions. While parenting books offer a few vague ideas of what the new parents face, the one-size-fits-all approach to many of those books might work with someone else’s child but not with theirs. For that matter, the temperament, disposition, and desires of the parents is likely not taken into account in those books either. Their background, particular cultural influence, along with good and bad examples in parenting, shape their thinking.

To add to the matter, just so that we don’t forget about it, that baby has a natural bent to sin. While the parents might have given it blue eyes instead of brown and blonde hair instead of red, one thing every parent passes along to every child is certain—a sinful nature. The same psalmist who declared, “For I am fearfully and wonderfully made,” also said, “Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin my mother conceived me” (Pss. 139:14; 51:5). And there’s no contradiction between them. We’re made in God’s image as our first parents but just as their story exposes, we follow after them with that same nature twisted, corrupted, and turned toward sin (Gen 1:26–27; 3:1ff.). But it’s not just the baby in the home; it’s the parents as well.

So with that background, we’re to bring up our children and our children are to gladly submit to our authority. But it usually does not work out quite that easily. Sin rears its ugly head in both parents and children. We need more than helpful hints on parenting and living as children in the home. We need the Spirit of God to control us.

That’s what Paul recognized. So when he set forth the kind of life that walks worthy of the gospel, walks in love as Jesus loved, and walks as children of Light (Eph 4:1; 5:2, 8), he tells us to be careful how we walk, to not be foolish, and certainly not be controlled by other things, but “be filled with the Spirit” (Eph 5:15–18). He speaks about our relationship to one another, worship, life of gratitude, and living in subjection to one another. That last fruit of the Spirit filled life Paul expands by teaching on marriage, children with parents, parents with children, and the relationship of slaves and masters. The effects of the Christian living in the Spirit’s fullness include the home. What we see is that our homes are not simply factories for producing morally acceptable and ethically commendable kids. They are a place where the implications of the gospel and our life in Christ are worked out so that Christ reigns in our homes. How do we apply the gospel and truths of the Christian life to the family? Let’s think about that by considering goals for children and parents in the home.

I. Goals for children

By goals, I’m recommending that we evaluate in light of the gospel how we’re doing as children and parents, and then resetting our goals in the home to align with life in the Spirit’s fullness. Let’s don’t approach this passage with the idea that we’ve arrived and have it all together. Personally, as I studied this passage, I found myself deeply convicted in many areas where I failed my children in parenting them. I thought numerous times how I wish that I would have better understood this passage at the start of my journey as a parent. For that matter, I needed to grasp it when I was a kid in the home[...]