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Family is complex for me. Autistic + ADHD... but Shameless.
A spoken word piece about family wounds, estrangement, and choosing to live unapologetically.
From Elvis dying on Mount Marcy to stalking Death Valley stars—this is what shameless looks like when you stop trying to be the son they ordered.
👉 Gift Season Special: “every clock is a handgun pointed at my head”
https://a.co/d/3e0Uc7i
Raw poetry & art exploring autistic innocence and experience. Perfect for:
* Your autistic or ADHD someone (the gift of being seen)
* That someone who isn’t... and wants to understand (the gift of connection)
👉 Get the chapbook:
https://a.co/d/3e0Uc7i
👉 Full text & community: https://substack.com/@johnnyprofane1
👉 Live Autistic Truth playlist:https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_812RrZO_QWB-WHVZRBe-hjr37UNPxdb
Chapters:
0:00 Family Is Complex for Me0:11 Living Life Perfectly Shameless0:45 Mount Marcy to Death Valley1:28 No Mask Hides the Pain
Recorded live, November 2024. Minimal edits—this is what authentic sounds like.
#ActuallyAutistic #ADHD #SpokenWord #FamilyDysfunction #AutisticPoetry #NeurodivergentVoices #AutisticAF
---
AutisticAF Out Loud
Not here to inspire you. Here to give you an experience of a life.
Born to raise hell. Autistic style.
Transcript
Family is complex for me, Autistic Plus ADHD. So I call this one, Shameless.
Live long enough
Ya get a lot right,
Get a lot wrong.
Get to know
Well enough
Ya can’t be a saint
Lurking in shadow…
Living life perfectly
Shameless.
Shameless.
Oh let me be
Shameless…
No sun sets
On a painless life,
So no moon shines
On a stainless wife.
Oh let me be… come
Shameless.
Scaling Mount Marcy
That night as Elvis died,
Got branded a Mountebank
As my sister grew colder.
Stalking Death Valley
Same sister… now dead… to me
Same stars… chill my shoulders
Now living life perfectly
Shameless…
Shameless.
Oh let me be
Shameless…
No peak caps
An aimless life,
And no grave ever filled
By a blameless knife.
Oh let me be… come
Shameless…
No mask hides
The pain in life,
So no words can
Explain my fight.
So, let me Be… come
Shameless.
I hate it, I love that one.
This year, give the gift of being seen… to your autistic or ADHD someone.
Or the gift of connection to someone…. who isn’t.
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit johnnyprofaneknapp.substack.com/subscribe
View all episodes
By Johnny Profane (Knapp Âû)A spoken word piece about family wounds, estrangement, and choosing to live unapologetically.
From Elvis dying on Mount Marcy to stalking Death Valley stars—this is what shameless looks like when you stop trying to be the son they ordered.
👉 Gift Season Special: “every clock is a handgun pointed at my head”
https://a.co/d/3e0Uc7i
Raw poetry & art exploring autistic innocence and experience. Perfect for:
* Your autistic or ADHD someone (the gift of being seen)
* That someone who isn’t... and wants to understand (the gift of connection)
👉 Get the chapbook:
https://a.co/d/3e0Uc7i
👉 Full text & community: https://substack.com/@johnnyprofane1
👉 Live Autistic Truth playlist:https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_812RrZO_QWB-WHVZRBe-hjr37UNPxdb
Chapters:
0:00 Family Is Complex for Me0:11 Living Life Perfectly Shameless0:45 Mount Marcy to Death Valley1:28 No Mask Hides the Pain
Recorded live, November 2024. Minimal edits—this is what authentic sounds like.
#ActuallyAutistic #ADHD #SpokenWord #FamilyDysfunction #AutisticPoetry #NeurodivergentVoices #AutisticAF
---
AutisticAF Out Loud
Not here to inspire you. Here to give you an experience of a life.
Born to raise hell. Autistic style.
Transcript
Family is complex for me, Autistic Plus ADHD. So I call this one, Shameless.
Live long enough
Ya get a lot right,
Get a lot wrong.
Get to know
Well enough
Ya can’t be a saint
Lurking in shadow…
Living life perfectly
Shameless.
Shameless.
Oh let me be
Shameless…
No sun sets
On a painless life,
So no moon shines
On a stainless wife.
Oh let me be… come
Shameless.
Scaling Mount Marcy
That night as Elvis died,
Got branded a Mountebank
As my sister grew colder.
Stalking Death Valley
Same sister… now dead… to me
Same stars… chill my shoulders
Now living life perfectly
Shameless…
Shameless.
Oh let me be
Shameless…
No peak caps
An aimless life,
And no grave ever filled
By a blameless knife.
Oh let me be… come
Shameless…
No mask hides
The pain in life,
So no words can
Explain my fight.
So, let me Be… come
Shameless.
I hate it, I love that one.
This year, give the gift of being seen… to your autistic or ADHD someone.
Or the gift of connection to someone…. who isn’t.
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit johnnyprofaneknapp.substack.com/subscribe