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Family30 – 2 – Is Someone Creating Unnecessary Stress and Disappointment? Let’s Talk.

Welcome – Chris Fluitt | Redemption Church Plano

Family 30

Sticks and stones…

Words hurt… even more when they come from within the home.

Today…

Is someone creating unnecessary stress and disappointment? Let’s talk.

We don’t always get along.
The way we act, speak, and think can cause stress and disappointment.

How do we handle this?

Go back to the mission…

Fluitt Family Mission Statement

“We follow Christ, love one another, serve others, and grow together in purpose and grace.”

These actions, words, and thoughts… are they on mission?

3 opponents to your family mission.

Antagonism
Sarcasm

Narcissism

Antagonism – mutually opposed

Opponents in the family.
Antagonistic traits

Callous
Hostility
Manipulation

Deceit

Attention Seeking

Suspicious

Callous — Showing little concern for the feelings or problems of others.

Hostility — Recurring feelings of anger and irritability, especially in response to minor slights and insults.

Manipulation — Trickiness in one’s behavior, typically meant to influence, control, or charm others.

Deceit — Dishonesty, embellishment, and/or fraudulence.

Attention seeking — Engaging in behaviors designed to make oneself the focus of others’ attention and/or admiration.

Suspicious — Over-sensitive to interpersonal ill-intent or harm.

Do you recognize antagonism?
We are not supposed to enemies in our home.

You might be the antagonist.
Someone else might be the antagonist.

How do we handle the antagonist?

1. Maintain Calm

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

You can’t out yell an antagonist.
Peace and calm is our weapon.

2. Establish boundaries

What is acceptable behavior?
What are the consequences if boundaries are crossed?

This can protect your emotional well-being and help maintain peace in the home.

3. Communicate Effectively

Use non-confrontational communication.
Express your feelings.

Use “I” statements…
“I feel hurt when you speak to me in that tone…”
INSTEAD OF…
“You always speak to me disrespectfully.”

4. Practice Empathy

Be open to their feelings. Ask them about their feelings.

How does the Bible tell us to treat our enemies?  NOT LIKE ENEMIES.
Love your enemies.
Pray for your enemies.
Feed and clothe your enemies.

We choose a loving response over a revenge response.
This fulfills our family mission.
This models our mission… correct behavior.

3 opponents to your family mission:

Antagonism
Sarcasm

Narcissism

Sarcasm literally means to strip off the flesh. (Latin)

We must be careful with our words.

Sarcasm tears down and we are called to SERVE and BUILD UP.

Galatians 5:13-16 13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. 14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.

Ephesians 4:29-32 29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

It is ok to have fun and joke around… but it is not ok to tear down.

Verse 29 –

Unwholesome (sap-ros’) – Unfit for use, worthless, rotten, bad

Curse words – Words that curse

Verbal abuse
 

Fill your family with words that build up.

3 opponents to your family mission.

Antagonism
Sarcasm

Narcissism

Narcissism – Love for self image
 

Narcissus was a youth in Greek mythology that loved his own reflection more than anything.

We must love and honor others above ourselves.

Romans 12:9-10 9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.

Simple ways to defeat narcissism.

-How was your day? Genuine interest.

-Compliments.
-Gifts.
-Serve others.

3 opponents to your family mission.

Antagonism
Sarcasm

Narcissism

Words Matter

Remove words, thoughts, and actions that tear down.

Embrace words that build up.

Scientific Studies –

Negative words can stimulate the release of stress hormones and trigger anxiety responses.

Over time, they can affect brain functioning, relationships, and emotional well-being.

Proverbs 18:21 The tongue has the power of life and death

Words matter!

People can be effected by the negative words in their family.

Teachers
Greeters
BE THAT RANDOM PERSON WITH A GOOD WORD.

Massachusetts General Hospital research shows GOOD WORDS release endorphins and other feel-good chemicals in the mind.

Individuals recovering from substance abuse would recall and describe happy moments… reflecting on the GOOD WORDS of others in the past significantly boosted in-the-moment happiness.

Another study showed increased endorphins from saying words like love, joy, and peace…

Does that make anyone think of a scripture?
 

Galatians 5:22-23 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control Against such things there is no law.

Words matter. 

Proverbs 18:21 The tongue has the power of life and death

Are we speaking life or death?

You feel crummy on the way to Church.
You feel great leaving Church.

It is because LIFE is being spoken…

Songs…
Sermon…
Greeter – “You look great today. “Glad to see ya.”
Friends…
The Lord…

Jesus spoke words that brought people to life… We need to hear Jesus… We need to speak His words…

Speak these words on Monday… not just Sunday.

In your home…
To your kids…
To your friends…

Time to Act…