In a 15ft by 15ft garden in Archway, London; Rob and Calum plot their fantasy - as yet officially unnamed but already completely booked - festival. Don’t want to spoil any surprises but we have managed to book two headliners that nobody ever expected to see onstage again (it’s not The Smiths either, that’d be a piece of piss in comparison), we’ve got the most Good Shat band of all time, we’ve got two of our favourite songwriters breaking their years of sobriety to get fucked and play some songs. Our favourite new live band are here, a modern funk god has taken up the whole garden with his band and other ace artists all set to play a festival people will smuggly lie that they went to.