This video and thumbnail posted in their first draft state were the first creations for The Fast and Slow Project. The video was recorded on my phone, with a Dji mic mini I had bought a year or so before. I was so excited to talk about someone who I have formed such a bond with through the gift of her work - Toni Morrison.
Then came a voice I have become overly familiar with. I masterfully found every flaw, every imperfection, every reason that I wasn't good enough. This video seemed set to become it's latest casualty, never seeing the light of day.
I repeat myself, I stumble over some words, some of the phrasing is clumsy. The sound quality isn't great in parts, I hadn't figured out anything related to colour grading, I don't love how my arms look.
Today, as the last episode of this season, I get to flip that narrative the way I have been progressively flipping it over the course of the last years to get to this place.
I am so proud that you keep trying, that you go and pick up the camera and do the thing, even if it takes awhile to allow yourself the space to exist in it. The person that is sitting talking in this video has so much love, care and confidence in himself, a remarkable transformation from what once was. You get to be a mess, to not know, to start, to begin, to learn, to fail. What's important is who you allow yourself to become in the process and what lessons you chose to recognise and pick up. You got this!
So sit down and shut up, because we're going to talk about Toni Morrison.