Tonight I’ll read my anti-celebration of Father’s Day, a text I’ve compiled over many years that was inspired by the late works of novelist David Markson. “Fathers and Sons” presents fathers and fatherhood at their worst. I realize, of course, that not all fathers are execrable and a precious few are exemplary if not even virtuous. I am blessed to have an unofficially adopted father who has saved my life countless times and is the person I go to for answers when I’m most at a loss. He has never failed me, and I salute Dennis Snell in Dayton, Ohio. He has my lifelong devotion and love. I hope you, too, have a good father figure in your life. Biological fathers in my own experience have been more trouble than they were worth, and the text I’ll read now proves it. I hope you’ll enjoy the story even if there’s little in it that’s enjoyable. It’s meant, among other things, to be funny. So I invite you to lie down and get comfortable, settle in, close your eyes, and get some good, literate sleep.