Sticky Learning Lunches #59: How to Give Feedback Part #2

Need to have ‘That’ conversation but don’t know how, worried how it’ll be received, or just believe that if you ignore it for long enough it’ll go away? This 4-day training will dispel every belief you have about feedback, that you’ve been previously taught or learned by yourself along your leadership journey. Here's How to Give Feedback Part 2.

You Can Read the Full Transcript Below:

Nathan Simmonds:

Good afternoon, sticky lunches. Just making sure my screen is straight. How are we all today? I've actually joined in early just to make sure we're getting people in the room. On a scale of one to 10, one being terrible, 10 being phenomenal, how are we feeling today? 10. Straight in there with the tens. Good. Lots of positivity. Just a few more minutes while people are arriving. Colin, good to see you. Just doing a quick check in center. Check how everyone's feeling. One to 10, one at one at the bottom, 10 at the top. Where are you? Yeah. How are you feeling today?

Nathan Simmonds:

Good. I think I'm on the downward curve though, of one of the emotional slides of COVID-19 right now. I feel like we're getting to the end of all this. I feel like we're going back to normal. It is challenging. Martin, good to see you. Bonjour. We are in a little bit early. We've got 30 seconds. We're just waiting for people to arrive. Now he's going with the Portuguese. Now he's coming at me, right? Where are we? One minute past people still arriving. Just waiting for those to get into the room. Darren, good to see you.

Nathan Simmonds:

Let's just give it a moment while we're getting everyone in the room. Let's make sure we're all set up for success. Mobile phones, hold 'em higher. Let's get the little airplane lit up. My one is good to go already. Just checking that. Making sure that you've got a drink available. You want to keep yourself hydrated. Keep the brain lubricated and keep this learning sticking. Okay, and then finally, as always, fresh sheet, fresh thinking.

Nathan Simmonds:

Get yourself a nice clean page in that book in your notepad to make sure that you can get those things down that you want to remember and reread so you can reignite that thinking when you go back to it. You wanna keep that learning, expanding and moving and growing. So these, these are the three key elements just to set these sessions up, to keep that, that learning live. Last mouth of tea.

Learn to give better feedback

 

Nathan Simmonds:

Gareth, good to see you, Claire. Great to see you again. Thanks for being there. Last handful of people, right? Grab my pens. Let's fly with this. So, one thing we talked about yesterday, and I said I would share the link with you, which I've got down here, gonna get this now, is about the pigmalian effect. I hope I spelled that right.

Nathan Simmonds:

We talked about this briefly yesterday. I've just dropped a v No, I didn't. I just put it in there to everyone else but you. So you can't see it. Over audience. Let's try that. There we go. So I talked about this briefly yesterday, which was the Pygmalion effect. So it's the, the core idea or the, the science behind the statement of what you think of people is how you treat them. So that video's there, it's about six minutes long, not for watching now.

Nathan Simmonds:

It's definitely for watching later. Okay. And then I'm gonna copy this in just while I'm thinking about, and it's fresh in my thinking. If you have not registered for tomorrow's session or any of the other future sessions, the link is now in the chat box for you. Make sure that you are signing up for tomorrow's session immediately. 'cause That's gonna be part three of this feedback training.

Nathan Simmonds:

And these trainings are gonna stack up, yes, they'll help you individually, but they're gonna stack up in over the four parts in their entirety to support you delivering feedback in a much clearer, holistic and thoughtful way to support you getting the best results for your people. So you've got the link in there for the video for the Pigmalian effect, and you've also got the link in there for tomorrow's training sessions in the future sessions. All right,

Nathan Simmonds:

So let's go. Welcome to today's Sticky Learning lunch with me, Nathan Simmons, senior leadership coach and trainer for MBM, making Business Matter, the home of Sticky Learning. We are the leadership development and soft skills provider to the grocery and manufacturing industry. And the idea of these sessions, it's to help you be the best version of you in the work that you do right now from home, or preparing you to return back to work as well. This is day two of feedback. So where are we going today?

Nathan Simmonds:

Quick recap on yesterday. So the first thing that we covered on day one, we looked at what it is, which is about helping other people to understand what they do to take action. We also looked at the difference between good and bad. And also the fact there is no such thing as good or bad. All feedback is a gift. And it's only based on purely whether it's constructive or destructive, which is all about the delivery. And the last part, which I just talked about, which was the Pygmalion effect. In short, what you think of people is how you treat them,

Nathan Simmonds:

But also what you think of a situation is what it becomes. So if I think that this sit conversation's gonna be difficult, I'm gonna make it difficult. If I think this feedback is gonna be negative or bad, I will start to make it negative or bad. Why? Because you are judging the thing, the person, the situation, and the moment you judge someone, you cannot influence it. I said this yesterday and I'm saying it again now because it's super important. The moment that you judge someone or something, you cannot influence them or it, okay? Really important. We understand this.

Nathan Simmonds:

Hope this is useful. Hope you picked up some gems from yesterday that are gonna help change the dynamic of the conversation that you are already having. Where are we going to today? Day two, open. Question to you all, what needs to be included in feedback to make it work? What do you think as a group attending this session right now? What do you need to include when you are delivering feedback in order to make it work?

Nathan Simmonds:

There's some core bits that definitely need to absolutely good. There's one, I'm not gonna share these as they're coming through. I wanna see what comes through, first of all, from everyone rather than biasing and, and stunting other people's thinking by sharing their ideas too early. What else have we got? I've got one response in what else needs to be included? Care, honesty, vision for that. Good. Nice. Good seeing that one coming through. Yeah. Good. What else?

Nathan Simmonds:

Good. Good, good, good. So good. We've got some key things in here. Let's go into these. We've got facts. Absolutely. So when we are giving feedback, we need to have facts available. It needs to be irrefutable. So for example, if someone's being late, no, you, you, if you've got documentation to show when they were being late, then you can have a conversation about that. If you're saying, oh, you were late three times last month, and that person says, well, when, and you're saying, well, I'm not sure, but I know it was three times.

Nathan Simmonds:

You haven't got enough evidence, you can't have the conversation. We've got care, honesty and vision. Colin's hit the nail at like three nails on the head there. Honesty, we picked up as well. Reminder the vision. Again, what good looks like, the goal, the outcome. So it needs to be done with care. And we're gonna look a little bit at that in in session four when we look at the feedback. And we're gonna give you a framework to structure or a checklist, more like a checklist that you can work with to support when you're giving feedback. Some of the key things that we need to be including is it needs to be specific.

Nathan Simmonds:

So when we look at those facts, we need to be talking about specific events. We need to be talking about specific moments that we can have a conversation about. I've said to many people that I've worked with in organizations, you know, I could stand at the front door at five 30 or whatever time the shift finishes and everyone could walk out the door, you know, 1200, 1400 people and I could shake everyone's hand. Thank you very much for the day. Thank you very much for the day.

Nathan Simmonds:

Thank you very much for the day. And by the time they've got to the car, they won't even remember who I was or what I'd even said because I'd already checked three different WhatsApp messages and you know, responded to Twitter because I'm not actually telling them what I saw in them and wasn't specific enough about what I'm celebrating with them.

Nathan Simmonds:

So it has to be specific. Now the idea is that you catch people getting it right As Ken b Blanchard, author of the One Minute Manager suggests in there, phenomenal read, super short, super easy, listen, catch them getting it right. Look for reasons to celebrate them getting no, getting it it right and doing good things so that you can talk about that thing you did there, which was really helpful, which was really useful. Please keep doing that tomorrow so you've got one less thing almost to remind them about the next day.

Nathan Simmonds:

Because after a period of time you're doing that, it becomes habit. It becomes the norm if you don't take time to catch them getting it right. You know, what do children do if they don't get enough attention? Open question to everyone. Everyone who's got children, and I know a lot of you have, what do children do when they don't get enough attention? Steely silence. They play up. Go feral. Seek it.

Nathan Simmonds:

And yeah, absolutely.