Human beings are not wired for productivity or achievement—they are wired for connection. Yet modern life increasingly disrupts that foundation, leaving many navigating stress, trauma, and fragmentation without the relational systems the nervous system depends on.

In this conversation, Mary Schaub speaks with psychologist Dr. Megan Schmidt about connection as a biological process—rooted in co-regulation, implicit memory, and the body’s ongoing “conversation” with others. At the center is attunement—the experience of “feeling felt”—as both the origin of development and the pathway to healing.

✅ Key Topics

•  Co-regulation as the foundation of human development 
•  Attachment, implicit memory, and early nervous system formation 
•  Misattunement and adult patterns (hypervigilance, collapse, self-doubt) 
•  Attunement and “feeling felt” as mechanisms for growth and repair 
•  Rupture and repair beyond apology 
•  Over-attunement (“fawning”) and boundaries as regulation 

💡Takeaways

•  Connection is biological, not optional 
•  The body encodes experience before conscious awareness 
•  Attunement organizes identity, emotion, and meaning 
•  Repair is relational, not verbal 
•  Regulation cannot be achieved through cognition alone 

🎤 Memorable Quotes

• “We are mammals… designed to co-regulate… in a body-to-body conversation.” — Dr. Megan Schmidt
•  “Our body tells a different story than the one we can explain.” — Dr. Megan Schmidt
•  “Behaviors that seem problematic are often adaptations.” — Dr. Megan Schmidt
•  “You can’t think your way into this—you have to feel it.” — Mary Schaub

🔗Resources

•  Gabor Maté — https://drgabormate.com
•  Bessel van der Kolk — https://www.besselvanderkolk.com
•  Still Face Experiment — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apzXGEbZht0
• NICABM — https://www.nicabm.com
•  Polyvagal Theory — https://www.polyvagalinstitute.org
  
  

co-regulation, attachment theory, trauma, nervous system, emotional regulation, attunement, relational psychology, developmental trauma, neuroplasticity, recursion, identity patterns, dissociation, polycrisis, leadership psychology, somatics, consciousness, human connection, behavioral health, systems thinking, transformation

Disclaimer:

***The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only and any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice.***

Credits: Written, produced and hosted by: Mary Schaub. Theme song written by: Mary Schaub

Contact: [email protected]  

Website: M. Schaub Advisory (MSA)