Previously on _Ferretbrain Presents: the TeXt Factor_ we voted out _Wolf Hall_ for being slightly less awesome than the other books we liked more.

So, umm, off with its head:

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Sorry, that was a bit obvious.

So today we only have three books to talk about, so we discuss banana jam, similes, and nowls. We stretch a joke to breaking point, do our best impressions of Mister Fairlie, and wonder what we have to do with people's bosoms. And _South of the Border_ is really fucking weird. Like really fucking weird.

Also we take the chronic piss out of Wilkie Collins, because of this picture:

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