The grocery store is where good grammar goes to die. But you needn't be afeard of "less" versus "fewer." It ain't that complicated. Except when it is. Digressions include Paraguayan beef, tightly tucked duvets, streaming services' subtitles, and how young Mike got hoodwinked by those 12-CDs-for-a-penny scams.

Questions/comments/ideas/snark go in the comments. We love you.

Thing 1: Ryan Davis

Thing 2: Mike Laws

Producer: Amanda Darrach

Find all your favorite Red Pen songs over on the Red Pen Official Playlist.