Case #9 is now in session. On today’s docket: questionable sleep stories, including a wake-up call that should probably be considered a crime, and impressions that may or may not be legally accurate.

The court also reviews personal testimonies—from coming out journeys to childhood injuries that could’ve been prevented with better decision-making. Additional evidence includes unexpected dog encounters and a series of events that somehow lead straight to the casino.

The jury is still out, but one thing is clear: poor choices were made, stories were told, and nothing about this episode is normal.