Someone once said, “There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God the creator." I’ve brought a dad and husband named Jo'mel Powell on the program to share his story of how he found his identity and purpose.

Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr

https://zencastr.com/?via=thefatherhoodchallenge

Transcript - Filling the God-Shaped Hole

---

Someone once said, "There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every man that cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God the Creator."

I've brought a doubt on the program who understands this truth well and he will share his story with us in just a moment, so don't go anywhere.

Welcome to the Fatherhood Challenge, a movement to awaken and inspire fathers everywhere, to take great pride in their role,

and a challenge society to understand how important fathers are to the stability and culture of their family's environment. Now here's your host, Jonathan Guerrero.

Greetings, everyone. Thank you so much for joining me. I'm joined by a dad named Jamel Powell who is here to share his story of how he found his identity and purpose.

Jamel, thank you so much for being on the Fatherhood Challenge.

I appreciate you having me here and you are a blessing to me for allowing me on your platform.

Jamel, let's jump right into your story and journey of how you found your identity and purpose in life.

I want to say around the age of 19, that first year in high school, I was just trying to find my way.

So, you know, I thought I could find my way, you know, by giving me a girlfriend and by finding ways to make money hustling in the streets,

you know, being around the wrong type of crowds, but I want to say within that first year of high school, I found out quickly

that the road that I was going was in the route. I found myself in a lot of gyms and a lot of hard situations

and then a lot of confrontations with a lot of people that was much more powerful than me.

And they let me turn around and get down and pray and call on God and then being lost out here trying to find my way

is what made me get down on my knees and pray because it was rough for a young man in my neighborhood to make it, you know.

I'm from the city of Detroit, Michigan. A lot of our young men in Detroit, Michigan, we are influenced by our environment.

And our environment is full of people that sell drugs, you know, people that commit violent acts,

and even gang culture to a certain degree. So, when we not getting what we looking for at home, we look to these things,

to get the love that we looking for. But I thank God because, you know, I was trying to sell marijuana.

I got caught in a bad jam, you know, trying to let that lifestyle. I realized it wasn't for me because

you have to be an aggressive individual to be a hustler, you know. You have to be a violent individual to survive

because you constantly get tested over and over again and you have to be assertive.

And I realized I didn't want to go that route. Through those struggles and trials, God revealed himself to me.

And when God revealed himself to me, I turned away from all of that and I never went back.

Through all my journey, I probably have struggled with sins and I have backslap,

sitting multiple times, but I have never turned my back on God and I have never went to that lifestyle.

And when I say I never turned my back on God, I mean, like completely given up on God and completely lost

God out of my mind because I had many, many bumps along the road. I got in the church at the age of 19.

I was a licensed minister by the age of 20. And you would think things would go smooth in the church,

but I found myself struggling with identity again in the church, even becoming a minister.

I still was struggling with finding myself then influenced by others, you know, that was still

trying to find their selves. I had some disappointments and let downs in my first experience in ministry

in the church. So then I went down the whole, another rabbit hole, you know, especially after my mother died.

When my mother died, I went on the journey of a sexual sin with women that wasn't of God.

Just kind of out here a little bit. I caught myself trying to get back into the church and

trying to get back into ministry. That's when I met my wife. I met my wife when I was like more focused on

getting my life together, more focused on expanding and my knowledge of God. And she was like one of the

best things that happened to me. She was like a breath of fresh air because I hadn't had anyone like

showed that much love and concern for me in a while. Like, I don't know. It's like God

shined the divine spotlight on her when she came into my life. You know, that was one of the most

pleasant experiences that I had. Even though that was one of the most pleasant experiences that I had,

we started going through struggles within our marriage, you know. I want to say like about four or

five years in, we started going through some struggles. I'm going to say a lot of it was our flesh,

but I do believe that this spiritual workshop is well. So we're not going to turn the blind

into that. Yeah, it just was a rough patch, you know, we got to the point where we had to separate from

each other throughout our separation. We stayed in that connection. We didn't get ourselves involved

with anybody else or anything like that. We were just trying to take a step back and see what we could

fix and see how we can man our relationship because I know we really did love each other.

And through that process, she became pregnant. So this made us even want to work on our marriage more

and more. And with her becoming pregnant, it was just time to get things right and get things

in order throughout that process. Right before my daughter was about to be born, my wife contracted

the COVID-19 virus. Man, this just had me questioning everything, questioning my purpose, questioning

my decisions, questioning this guy really with me, but little did I know that the journey ahead

would be what reveals to me more of what my purpose is and more of what my identity is. This struggle

ahead revealed to me things about myself that I did not know about myself. Good and bad with my

wife, contracting the COVID-19 virus. I took it to the hospital because she couldn't breathe.

And this was in the ninth month of pregnancy. I just didn't know that that would be the last time I

would lay eyes on her for close to two months, you know. I'm just thinking I'm about to drop off

at the hospital and they take care of her for a few days and won't be back at it again, but no,

it was a whole other journey that I wasn't expecting. A three year journey to this day to be exact,

three year plus journey. My daughter was delivered through C-section and my wife was still in the hospital

on the ventilator and medically induced coma. So here I am again, like, you know, feeling like,

like, Lord, you took me away from the lifestyle that I was trying to go down in the neighborhood. I

went to the church, had some disappointments in the church, met my wife and I'm thinking things

going to get better than we started going through struggles in our marriage. They got me questioning

everything again. Then we have a child on the way. Now we're trying to work on our marriage. And now you

hit my wife with COVID to the point that she's on the ventilator to the point that she's in the hospital

for months. And now while she's in the hospital, I got to take my daughter home myself and try to figure

this out. So I was really, really questioning God. You know, I found myself praying and I found myself

fast and I found myself hurting. I found myself alone. I found myself not really knowing what to do.

But one thing's for sure, I knew I knew I was in about to leave my wife and I knew I was not about to leave

my daughter in limbal. Those are the only two things I knew. And though I didn't know how I was going

to continue the journey, though I didn't know how I was going to carry on, I knew that I was going

to continue the journey and I knew that I was going to carry on. Going through this with my wife and with

my daughter brought out more of who I really was, brought out more of my purpose. You know, it showed me

that I really did love my wife and it showed me that I really did have the ability to be a father to

a child, things that I didn't know. You know, they say God knows our hearts and I'm a foreign believer

there, but God knows the good in our hearts and knows the bad in our hearts. But to this situation,

God brought out some good out of me that I did not know was there through this bad situation. He

worked out so much good in our lives, even though we not in the perfect conditions that we would like

to be. He worked out so much good, you know, in our character. The pastor of my church, his name is

pastor Ken Snaggrass. One of the things that I heard him talk about when I first started going to

the church is that sometimes when God doesn't change your situation, he uses the situation to change

you as a person. I feel like everything that we go through as individuals is what moses and shapes us

and character to be the person that God wants us to be. You know, I think about the story of Joseph,

a whole lot. I talk about this all the time. My friends, my family, brothers and sisters in

Christ, they all know I talk about this a lot. Joseph saw the dream of what God was going to do with his

life. He had to understand that God was going to do something great with his life, but he didn't know

it'd be a 13 year journey, a 13 years of affliction that would be what that would be the avenue which

God used to bring the dream to pass. I felt like, you know, when we go on through her times, we just have

to keep in mind, you know, Romans 828, all things work together for the good to them that love God,

to them that they call the court into its purpose. So everything that's going on in the life of a

child that God tragic situations, loss of love, struggles in your personal life, struggles in your

finances, fault loss with individuals like anything you can name like God uses all things to work

together for our good. And that is something that I constantly stress to myself to keep myself motivated

because I'm still dealing with my trial right now. I just want to tell any any father out there this

struggling with fatherhood, struggling in the family and struggling to be a provider, keep

your head up, my brother. The word says all things work together for the good to them that love God,

to those that are called according to his purpose. Everything that you want to do is going to work

out for your good in the end. God knows what's best for us. You know, sometimes we try to go go different

routes with our lives or we have a plan for ourselves, but God has a plan for us this way better than

what we could imagine. You know, I went to be where God wants me to be instead of going where I want to go,

but you know, I mean, it can be it can be her for you know, it's her for when you're dealing with

struggles and situations that you feel that's not fair, but you got to keep your head up, prevail,

fast, pray and continue to fight. You know, I've been in my journey for over three years like I said,

but I've gotten stronger. I've gotten wiser. My relationship with my wife has gotten so, so much better

because I see so much good in her. She sees so much good in me and though we not in the perfect

conditions, though we not in the perfect situation that we would like to be in, we were God wants us to be,

and we on the journey to God's plan being fulfilled in our lives. That's what I want to tell you. It might

seem like you courage sometimes, you know, we go through so much bad. We be like, feeling like, man,

my courage store has God forsaken me or like, I love everything that I love and gave my life over

the God and not seem like it got worse, but there is purpose and everything, you know. See, I feel like,

I feel like this, I feel like the struggles is what develop our character. So if God put us in

high positions or put us in places that he showed us that we're going to be immediately when he

showed us without taking us to a process of character building, we won't be able to stay there,

but the struggle builds character, noble character. Someone God puts you in certain positions,

you have the wisdom, you have this of this of plan, you have the fruit of the spirit exhibited.

I just feel like, I just feel like, you know, though we go through struggles and though it's hard to

stay positive through struggles, the struggle is needed. Talk about that moment in your life when

you first understood and realized that you were born with an identity and purpose at the age of 19

when I heard the voice of the Lord speaks to me. I had left my neighborhood and I was at my

grandmother's house and I was fast and in front. I never forget one of my aunties her name is Brenda

Boom. She gave me a phone call during this time. I was out in California and I got slipped some drugs

and I was so embarrassed about it that I said I wasn't going to tell anybody about that. Like a

bottom-up later she reached out to me and she let me know that the Lord showed her a vision about me

and she said that what the Lord showed her is that you know basically somebody had given me something

that I wasn't used to taking and she just warned me about you know doing those type of things

and that led me to just open up to her and let them know that I look I got slipped some drugs

when I was out in California I said I wasn't going to tell nobody but

I told her because I knew God had spoken to her. So what she said to me is

look she taught me how to fast and pray she fasted and prayed with me for a few days that week

and during one of the nights of the fasting and prayer I was laying across my grandmother's bed

and I froze still on the bed I couldn't move with my eyes open

in the words do as you're doing my son and you shall prosper. Came into my spirit as I was sitting frozen

on the bed and then when I finally got to lose it it was a lot of fear and anxiety on me when I finally

got to lose I said you know what from this day four like after after perceiving that the Lord has

spoken to my spirit that made me want to see God more that made me want to become more of a God

wanted me to be and I feel like that's the moment when I found out that God had a different identity

for me than what I thought so during that process I wasn't even in church it um I started feeling

convicted about things that I was in the consistent pattern of doing uh just second nature I started

feeling the conviction about smoke and I started feeling the conviction about drinking I started

feeling the conviction about pornography I even started feeling the conviction about the language

than I was using and this is when I knew like God had a whole different identity and purpose for me

this is where I knew the start of a new identity was here. Now talk about the moment that time in your

life when you begin to really understand that God is your heavenly Father when did you start to really

feel him in that role as your father? You know at first at first I started at damn rejected by my

own father you know I was in so much trouble in the city of Detroit Michigan that I called on

and I said look that um I got some people after me you know and I just need somewhere to come for a

little while you know because uh I knew the situation was gonna blow over but I just reached out to

my father and said like can I just come and live with you just for a little while

till we get things off he lived in St. Louis, Missouri. He said I call you back

when he called back he gave me the coldest no I ever heard I had never heard of that call towards me

ever and uh from that point on uh I had made up in my mind at that time that I wasn't gonna talk to him

again which I didn't stick to of course but from that point on I started thinking about that script

trying songs that says when my mother or my father forsaken me then with the Lord taking me up so

that's when I started even that made me even more want to seek our heavenly Father being forsaken by

my earthly Father and when I tell you my Heavenly Father took care of me he took care of me by even

through my lack of faith he took care of me through the provisions you know it was times that I deeply

desired things within my heart and didn't even say it to people and my Heavenly Father will bring

what I desired in my heart you know like through the discipline of God that's what that was

experience in my Heavenly Father uh when I when I stepped out of line the the correction and discipline

but I'm thankful for the correction and discipline of our Heavenly Father because

hey that that moses and character too it does it sounds to me like your relationship with God

became so close that you really did not feel like you locked for anything oh yeah I got I used to wake

up around the beginning stages of my walk with grace I used to wake up every day just just like

I wonder what God gonna do today like it'll be little things like I might I might be thinking like

man I would really like some piece of the day in my within my mind and then my I'll see a stop by

the house and have some piece of weather and something like that like like God God uh God is good

God is good and I'll tell you this I ain't nothing like I heavenly Father.

No there is absolutely nothing like him there's another scripture verse where he is referenced as

the Father to the Fatherless yes and that that is very very true this isn't just flowery speech

it is very very literal God will step into that role and he is happy to fill that role coming back

to identity purpose I it was a game changer for me when I understood that in heaven there are

scrolls written about each of us before we were even born before we were conceived God took the time

to purposely write about each of our lives our identity and our purpose were written in those scrolls

and Psalm 139 references that as well and that has become one of my favorite bits of scripture

even in your walk today you know talk to that dad that is struggling with trying to parent a son or a

daughter and they still have that void in their own life from growing up fatherless or in fatherlessness

can be defined two ways it's a father that is either physically absent or physically present

but emotionally absent and unavailable that is also a definition of fatherlessness so talk to that

dad that grew up fatherless and struggling with that emptiness inside of them and they're trying to

raise a son or a daughter one of one of the things I would say the first thing I would say is

you know pray pray the God to give you the wisdom knowledge and understanding on the correct way to

do things in a way that to be effective in a way that the influential to your children in a positive way

but one of the things that I did which is the second thing I would say

everything that I felt like I missed and didn't have that's what I was going to give to my daughter

and that's what I've been trying my best to give to my daughter like like you know my father was in

around throughout all of my elementary and most of my middle school years so we probably would see

him like once a year of that so you know like I just always wanted to know what it was like to have

my dad in the house or have my dad take me to a boy game where you know have my dad sit and watch

TV with me and things like that with me and my sister didn't get that was fueled to my fire to

be what we didn't get be who we didn't have to my child you know like everything that I feel like I

miss everything I feel like I deserve I said I want my daughter to have all of that you know I want to

be at the school on the road assembly I want to be at the winter concerts or when the class is

come together and sing at the school and programs you know I want to be there if she's into sports I

want to be at the sports games you know having an absent father should sparking you don't want to be

a present father having a father that was uninvalled emotionally that caused us girls should make us

want to be involved emotionally to eliminate the scars from our children and that was just my method

pray to God and to try to give my daughter what I didn't get to give her a better start in life you

know missing a missing a prominent male figure or missing that male figure in your life

says you back a lot you know because you started to look to the to the wrong type of male

male figures you know you you start to look to male figures they might not be so much of a good

figure to look to I just want to say you know give give to your child what you didn't get

and give your child that extra boost and that extra start that you were missing.

Jamel as we close what is your challenge to dads listening now I just want to I just want to

challenge you to do your best I know sometimes it's a lot of pressure on fathers and sometimes we

fall short of our goals we fall short of our financial goals we fall short of our parent and goals

and we just fall short in the glory of God but my thing is do your best every day do your best

shoot for the moon if you miss you still amongst the stars don't don't allow yourself to

feel like a failure you may have failed in certain areas being the father but

get back up and try again our failures is what makes us better when we use our failures as learning

experiences we know they expected to know everything and do everything the correct way 100% but we are

expected to give the best that we can give and that's what I want to tell you like give the best

that you can give do the best that you can do Jamel would you offer a prayer for dads listening

now yes yes I will heavenly Father we humble ourselves before you and Christ name

we thank you for grace mercy and forgiveness but we actually don't forgive us for our sins and our

thoughts we actually don't forgive us for our sins in action and the sins in our word but we know

your gracious and merciful and we believe that we are forgiven through the blood Lord as we

humble ourselves before you Lord I pray that you look upon us all all of us families but we have

weaknesses we have struggles but we pray and Lord that you help us to overcome all our weaknesses

struggles and use our failures as learning experiences but we pray and Lord that you help us to

stand in the position that you want us to stand we pray that you help us to be a positive

influence in the lives of our children and in the lives of our family members

Lord the areas that we not doing so great then Lord help us to do much better the areas that we

already doing better and Lord help us to be humble and continue to maintain that greatness

but we pray and Lord that we don't be those fathers that's absent we don't be those fathers that's

there but emotionally absent but we pray Lord that we be the fathers that you call for us to be

we preach we be the husbands that you call us to be and Lord it's all the single fathers out there

Lord get them comfort get them strife and help them to continue the journey Lord

we have to fight against Satan we have to fight against demons we have to fight against sin and

we're still expected to be men sometimes we hurt sometimes we struggle but we still expected to be

men we're so we proud of what they've come and crowned to you and we get back in this world and fight

and Christ's name we pray and amen thank you so much for that prayer and thank you so much for coming

on the Father and challenge and sharing your story we know it will bring a lot of hope and do a lot

of dad's listening now so thank you thank you thank you for having me and I appreciate you

thank you for listening to this episode of the Fatherhood Challenge if you'd like to contact us

listen to other episodes find any resource mentioned in this program or find out more information

about the Fatherhood Challenge please visit thefatherhoodchallenge.com that's thefatherhoodchallenge.com

[COVERSATION]

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/thefatherhoodchallengepodcast/donations