Find the Joy

Takeaways

• A big or empty space fills up quickly, so being intentional about what you accept into your home matters as much as what you let go.
• The things you forgot you owned are often the easiest things to release, because chances are you will not need them again.
• Your style and your needs change over time, and it is okay if the belongings you stored years ago no longer match who you are now.
• The what-ifs around decluttering are normal, and getting rid of something rarely turns out to be the disaster we imagine.

Summary of the Episode

In this episode of Find the Joy, host Courtney Vroman takes a more relaxed approach after a challenging fall and shares an update on her decluttering journey. It is a topic that truly brings her joy, and she hopes it gets you thinking a little more about what you own.

Courtney starts with her childhood in an old Victorian-style home filled with beautiful, curated things from her mom, a part-time interior designer. She loved that house, and she also found it overstimulating, which quietly shaped her desire to live differently. After losing her mom in high school and her dad selling the house, she carried 15 totes of belongings into her life with her husband.

From there, she walks through how stuff accumulates: a large first home, furniture from well-meaning friends, three kids with their own interests, and the stockpiling that came with 2020. Two sudden moves in a short time, with belongings packed into a two-stall garage, made her very aware of how much they own.

Now, three and a half years into their current home, Courtney is decorating, painting, and finding her style. She is letting go of what no longer matches her wants, needs, and family lifestyle, doing research without overcomplicating it, and considering a shopping ban. Find Courtney on Facebook and Instagram, join her email list, and read her decluttering adventures on her blog at empowerhermn.com.

Takeaways

• Privately feeling proud of yourself is only half the work; owning that pride without apologizing for it is where the freedom is.
• One negative reaction can become the loudest voice in your head, so it is worth asking whether anyone actually told you to shrink or whether you turned a few uncomfortable moments into a rule.
• You can be humble, kind, and grateful while still celebrating your life, because your joy is not an insult to someone else's life.
• You do not have to wait for your circumstances to look perfect before you let yourself be seen. Sometimes you just need to turn your camera on.

Summary of the Episode

In this episode of Find the Joy, Courtney Vroman talks about what happens when you stop apologizing for a life you are proud of. She opens with two honest questions: have you ever downplayed something you were excited about so you would not come across as bragging, and have you ever held back because you were worried how someone else might react? Courtney admits she has been doing both more than she realized, and it all comes down to one word: unapologetic.

Courtney shares that she recently joined a two-week challenge led by a life coach she has worked with before, who has also spoken at her Empower Her conference. One prompt asked participants to reflect on the choices that got them where they are today. Courtney had no trouble acknowledging her hard work and the things she has built, including Empower Her and this podcast. What she found missing was owning that pride without feeling the need to explain herself first. She is clear that unapologetic does not mean ignoring the people around you. Her family, her responsibilities, and her faith all matter, and being unapologetic means honoring those commitments without hiding what she loves about her life.

She then looks at why this is so hard. We remember the negative reactions over all else, and one uncomfortable comment can drown out ten people cheering for us. Courtney asks the question that cut through it for her: who actually told me I needed to shrink? She shares a real-life moment from harvest season on the farm, where she runs the grain cart from a tractor. She kept her camera off for the first live Zoom call, then turned it on for the next one. Absolutely nothing happened, and she realized she had been treating a normal part of her life as something to hide.

https://www.empowerhermn.com/

Takeaways

• Reaching a goal is not the finish line if you never pause to appreciate the work it took to get there.
• Raising the bar is good, but moving the goalpost without celebrating keeps you from feeling the joy of what you have already done.
• Being proud of yourself is not arrogance. It is appreciating the courage and growth that your goals required.
• Asking "what used to be hard that isn't anymore?" is a simple way to see your own progress, and leaving off the "but" lets you actually enjoy it.

In this episode of Find the Joy, Courtney Vroman picks up where the fall series left off. That series walked listeners through imagining a future version of themselves, taking small daily steps toward her, and believing it can actually work out. Courtney explains that there is one step still missing at the end of that checklist: taking a moment to be proud of yourself.

She shares how easy it is to move the goalpost. You lose the 10 pounds and set a new health goal. You finish the kitchen and start on the fire pit. Courtney points out that continuing to raise the bar is good, but never pausing to appreciate the work can rob you of the joy of what you achieved. She also takes on the idea that pride is negative, explaining that this is not about arrogance but about appreciating the courage it took to reach your goals.

Courtney uses her own decluttering journey as a lifelong example. What started as cleaning up her house turned into a lifestyle that changed how she parents and how she moves through her day, and it helped her feel grateful instead of resentful of the mess. She then challenges listeners to reflect with a few questions and to fill in the blank "I'm proud of myself for ___," with no "but" attached.

She closes with the footprints story and a reminder that joy is about recognizing all the good that is around you, including the woman you have become.

https://www.empowerhermn.com/

Takeaways

• Changing direction does not mean you failed, and a dream can still be honored when you choose a different path.
• Our dreams can grow up with us and change shape as we change, and that is okay.
• The timing of your life may be working out better than you think, because you may need certain experiences before you can fully appreciate where you land.
• Some of life's greatest joys are ordinary ones, like showing up, figuring things out, and building something together.

Summary of the Episode

In this episode of Find the Joy, host Courtney Vroman shares one of the biggest plot twists of her life: discovering that she genuinely loves working with her husband every single day. She dedicates the episode to him, even though he may never listen to it.

Courtney takes you back to high school, when nearly all of her plans for the future involved music. She grew up performing on the stage of her local opera house, and she was accepted into a music conservatory in Los Angeles. When she asked her boyfriend, now her husband, what he thought, he encouraged her to go for it. That support gave her the freedom to make the decision for herself.

She chose a university closer to home, studied music, and graduated with a flexible degree. She was happy with that choice and never felt like she was settling. After five or so years of trying different jobs, she found herself working full-time on the family farm, and this is now her fourth harvest season. The real surprise was not the farm work itself. It was getting to work alongside her husband and enjoy it.

Courtney then turns the conversation to you. She asks how often we overlook the goodness in unexpected chapters because we keep comparing them to the story we originally wrote. She closes with a question to carry with you: what is something about your life right now that would surprise your younger self? Listen to Find the Joy wherever you get your podcasts.

https://www.empowerhermn.com/

Takeaways

• Most of us spend so much energy imagining how something could fail that we never picture what happens if it works. Flip the question from "What if I fail?" to "What if I don't?"
• The stories we tell ourselves ("I'm too old," "I'm too busy," "I'm not confident") are not facts. The biggest thing standing between you and the life you want is often the willingness to believe you are capable of more.
• You do not need the whole plan. Write down the thing you keep coming back to, decide on step one, and do it. Courage often shows up after you act, not before.

Summary of the episode

In the final episode of her fall series on becoming the person you want to be, Courtney asks one question: what if you actually did it? She invites listeners to imagine the other side of the thing they have been talking, praying, and journaling about, whether that is starting a business, finishing a project, getting healthier, going back to school, making more time for God, or finally taking the trip. Courtney points out that we easily picture the failure, the embarrassment, and the opinions of other people, and rarely stop to picture what happens if it all works out.

She is clear that this is not about magical transformation or believing hard enough. Sometimes doors close, plans change, and God takes us somewhere unexpected. Courtney reminds listeners that the series was never about checking every goal off a list. It was about becoming a woman who is willing to try, willing to grow, and willing to start again. If you did not do everything you set out to do this fall, she wants you to know you did not fail. You started paying attention and asking better questions.

Courtney closes with a practical challenge for the week ahead. Write down the thing that keeps coming back to your mind, then ask what the very first step is. Not the whole plan, just step one, and then do it. She shares that courage often comes because we act, and that the woman you want to become is not going to appear overnight. You build her, one decision, one promise, and one brave step at a time. The episode ends with an invitation to stop underestimating yourself, trust God with what you cannot control, and keep becoming more fully who you were created to be.

https://www.empowerhermn.com/

Takeaways

• Gratitude and ambition are not opposites. You can love the life you have and still want more for it, and wanting more does not make you ungrateful or selfish.
• Your "more" may not be money, a bigger house, or a better job. It may be more confidence, creativity, courage, discipline, margin, adventure, or time with God.
• Wanting more only works if you are willing to do something different. If you want a different result, you have to be open to the process, the discomfort, and being a beginner.

Summary of the episode

In this fall series episode, Courtney tackles something a lot of women struggle to admit: you can want more for your life without being ungrateful for the life you already have. She names the belief that if we are grateful we should be content, and if we are content we should not want anything different. Courtney gives listeners permission to separate those two ideas and shows how contentment and ambition can sit at the same table.

From there she gets practical about what "more" actually means. It might be a bigger dream, or it might simply be more confidence, more courage, more margin, or more time with God. Courtney explains that many of us are not afraid of wanting more, we are afraid of admitting what we want because of what people might think. She encourages listeners to get curious instead of shutting desires down, to pray about them, and to ask God what he wants them to do with what they have already been given, so that wanting more comes from stewardship and not dissatisfaction.

Courtney also gets real about the part we tend to skip. We say we want more energy, time, or confidence, but we do not always want to change our habits, say no, or be uncomfortable. She reminds listeners that becoming your best self does not mean the current version of you is broken. It means you are growing. The episode ends with a simple challenge: finish the sentence "If I were completely honest, I would love more ___ in my life," ask why, and identify one small step toward it.

https://www.empowerhermn.com/

Takeaways

• One bad day, one missed workout, or one skipped habit does not define who you are. The real problem shows up when a single setback becomes your reason to quit.
• Starting again is not starting over. Every time you fall off a goal you learn something about yourself, and that information is growth you get to carry into your next attempt.
• Success this season does not have to mean never falling off. It can mean getting better at coming back, which builds resilience, discipline, and self-trust.

Summary of the episode

In this fall series episode, Courtney speaks directly to the listener who started strong on her goals and then watched them slip. Whether it was a sick kid, a chaotic work week, or a late night that turned into a skipped morning routine, she names the moment so many of us hit when we decide we blew it. Courtney explains why falling off is inevitable when you are working on becoming your best self, and why the real danger is letting one bad choice turn into a permanent identity.

She gets personal with the story she has told herself for years: that she is simply not a morning person. She shares how that label became a convenient way to avoid the early wake-ups her own goals required, and how a daily devotional called New Morning Mercies landed as a gentle reminder that this identity does not have to stick. From there, Courtney reframes the restart. Starting again means you are not starting from scratch, because you now know what worked, what did not, and what you might want to change, like moving your routine to the evening or finding an accountability partner.

Courtney also gives practical permission to stop waiting. Skip the perfectly color-coded Monday plan and start on a Tuesday afternoon if that is when you realize you want to try again. She talks about grace and growth as two sides of the same coin, encouraging listeners to be kind to themselves without letting grace keep them stuck. The episode closes with a new definition of success and a simple challenge: think about what you have stopped doing because you believe you have already failed, and take the next small step back toward it.

https://www.empowerhermn.com/

Takeaways

• The goal isn't perfection. It's proving to yourself, one small promise at a time, that you can count on you.
• Smaller, specific promises that actually get kept build more trust with yourself than big, vague ones that get broken.
• You don't need motivation to follow through. You need a decision, and that decision is available to you every single day.

Summary of the episode

Courtney checks in on the fall series challenge she's been building for the last few weeks, asking listeners what actually happened to the goals and future-self work they set out to do. She's honest about her own struggle here, sharing that she was voted "worst procrastinator" in her high school senior class and admitting how easily she let that label become an identity she leaned into instead of pushed against.

The core idea of the episode is a reframe: becoming the person you want to be has less to do with big transformation and more to do with learning to keep the promises you make to yourself. Courtney walks through why this is so hard, we keep appointments, show up for work, and remember everyone else's needs, but when it comes to the things we promise ourselves, like walking more or starting a project, other things take precedence. Every broken promise makes it a little easier to stop believing yourself, and every kept one teaches you that you can be trusted.

She offers a practical fix for anyone who has stalled out on their fall goals: make the promise smaller. Instead of "I'll work out every day," try "I'll walk for 20 minutes three times this week." Instead of "I'll read my Bible every morning for the rest of my life," try "tomorrow morning, ten minutes in God's Word." The episode closes with a direct challenge: name one promise you haven't been keeping, make it smaller and more specific, and keep it, not perfectly, just start.

Key Topics Covered:

• Checking in on the fall series future-self challenge
• Why we keep promises to everyone except ourselves
• How a broken promise erodes self-trust, and a kept one builds it
• Courtney's own story with procrastination and letting a label become an identity
• Why smaller, specific promises are more powerful than big vague ones
• Choosing a decision over waiting for motivation
• This week's challenge: name one promise and keep it

https://www.empowerhermn.com/

Takeaways

• Motivation is a feeling, and feelings are unreliable. Waiting to feel motivated before you act keeps most people stuck indefinitely.
• The real order of change isn't motivation, then action, then results. It's action, then momentum, then motivation.
• Confidence and discipline aren't prerequisites for starting. They're built by starting, one small, repeatable action at a time.

Summary of the episode

Courtney picks up where last week's episode left off, digging into why so many of us wait for the "right time," the right mood, or the right amount of confidence before we start working toward the future version of ourselves. She names the quiet trap in that thinking: saying "I'll start when I feel motivated" is often just a more comfortable way of saying "I'm afraid to start."

The heart of the episode reframes the order most of us assume is true. We think motivation leads to action, which leads to results. Courtney argues it's usually the reverse: you take the action first, momentum builds, and motivation follows. She uses everyday examples, a ten-minute walk, washing one dish, cleaning a single drawer, to show how small, unmotivated first steps can turn into real progress.

She connects this directly back to the three questions from last week's episode (who do you want to become, what does that version of you do differently, what's one thing you can do this week) and issues a challenge: pick one thing you've been putting off and take a single small step toward it this week, before you talk yourself out of it.

Courtney closes with a faith-rooted reframe, encouraging listeners to stop trying to see the whole path before moving and instead ask for just the next right step. The episode ends on a clear, repeatable line: don't wait until you feel like it, start, and let the feeling catch up.

Key Topics Covered:

• Why we wait for motivation instead of just starting
• The real order of change: action, then momentum, then motivation
• How "waiting for the right time" is often fear in disguise
• The "smallest thing I can do today" question
• How confidence and discipline are built through action, not before it
• Connecting this week's challenge back to last week's three questions
• Taking your next right step instead of needing the whole plan

https://www.empowerhermn.com/

Takeaways

• Growth isn't one giant reinvention. It's built through small, ordinary choices repeated daily, the same way you'd build any habit.
• You don't have to choose between grace and growth. You can be proud of who you are right now and still want to become more.
• The biggest thing holding most of us back isn't ability, it's fear, comfort, perfectionism, or waiting for a "perfect time" that never actually comes.

Summary of the episode

Courtney opens this episode with an honest admission: she scrapped the entire fall series she had planned because it didn't feel right. Instead of teaching from a finish line she hasn't reached, she's kicking off a new series about becoming, walking listeners through the process of identifying who they want to grow into and taking real, ordinary steps to get there.

At the center of the episode is a simple but powerful reframe: the future version of yourself isn't waiting for perfect motivation or the right circumstances. She's built one decision at a time. Courtney shares her own experiment of digging up an old daily habit tracker from three years ago and hanging it back on her wall, using it to hold herself accountable to the same questions she's asking listeners to sit with.

She walks through what's actually holding people back from growth, naming fear, comfort, perfectionism, and the habit of waiting for "someday" as common culprits, while also acknowledging that some obstacles are legitimate because life really is complicated. The episode's central idea is that grace and growth aren't opposites. You can accept exactly where you are and still want more for yourself.

Courtney closes with three simple questions to carry into the rest of the fall series: who do you want to become, what does that version of you do differently, and what's one thing you can do this week to move in that direction. Not ten things. Just one.

Key Topics Covered:

• Why Courtney scrapped her original fall series and started over
• Getting specific about who your future self actually is
• The daily habit tracker experiment and why she brought it back
• Common reasons we stay stuck: fear, comfort, perfectionism, and "someday"
• Why grace and growth can coexist instead of competing
• Three questions to define and start moving toward your future self

https://www.empowerhermn.com/