"Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming. When nothing is certain, anything is possible."

I feel lately like my heart is hurting in ways my tongue wouldn't dare to let me speak. I don't know what seems to be holding me back. I know how I feel but who other than myself and God can truly understand the internal  battles I am fighting without the use of so many  words. I am struggling, yet in so many ways I am also thriving.  I can expect to live in moments of joy and peace, despite the storm surrounding me. I step away from confusion while leaning into the unknown. Both lack clarity but at least when I walk somewhere new I have the opportunity to expand and grow. I am thankful for new relationships and I am terrified to let go of the old. Some days I unclench my fists to release, relieve, and realize.  So much good is happening every day and I want to be able to see more of it in the world without being naive of the battles being fought around me - in me. I ask questions beginning with Why and How, when I need to be asking What. So many good things happening... That is what I will focus on. I don't ignore my hurt and instead remain patient in my healing. I know I am headed the right direction and will continue to remain steadfast in my growth (spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally).  When I feel like I am being crushed by the weight of the world I fall to my knees let it all out. I scream, cry, and allowing trapped emotions/ thoughts to spew out to the man above. I know the Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in the spirit. If anything is certain, it is God keeping his hand on me; walking with me day in and out. Hopefully, the next episode I can have the freedom to speak my truth a little bit better, but for now let's be patient with Caira together. Celebrating where I have been and where I have yet to go. Thank you!