I decided to stay in LA for pretty much all of May, making it the longest stretch of time I’ve spent back home since I graduated high school. I’m grateful for the weddings, the impromptu concerts, and the last-minute work trip that gave me an excuse to spend so much extended time with my parents and people I just don’t get to see very often anymore.

And because I only get to see my friends only once or twice a year, trips home provide really satisfying snapshots of how they’ve matured, progressed in their careers, and fostered their relationships.

Each visit home also feels increasingly significant, not just because these opportunities to connect are so rare but because I get glimpses into how they’re better aligning their lives with who they are and who they want to become.

So naturally the question kept popping into my head: “What am I working towards?” 

I’m typing away on the same desk I used to do homework in, eating a plate of sliced oranges my mom prepared, and just arms-length from my bed that’s now too short and still adorned with Mickey Mouse bedsheets.

I figured there was no better place to wrestle with such an existential question than back home where it all started.

If working on myself is a life-long journey, what direction am I even heading towards?

What’s motivating this desire to explore personal fulfillment, this need to build stronger relationships, and my goal to become more emotionally resilient?

Actually, why does anyone choose the specific activities and routines that govern their personal development?

Halfway through my second orange, I landed on a somewhat simplistic answer.

Everyone is working towards better embodying their values—the things we intuitively believe are important to the way we live.

Personal values are all-encompassing, influencing our beliefs about what's good versus bad, the people we’re naturally drawn to, and how we see the world at large.

Despite having such an out-sized influence on our reality, hardly anyone spends time actually writing down their values are nether lone sharing them with the people they care about.

I decided that answering “What are my values?” would be a worthwhile exercise today. By answering that critical question, my goal is to gain a better understanding of who I am and to charter a clearer path to the sort of person I want to become.

I started by revisiting a 3-step exercise I heard on a podcast a while ago:

* The first step was to Google “200 Most Common Personal Values.”

* Then I picked 20 that stood out to me.

* And then I picked the 3 that REALLY hit close to home.

Picking 20 was fairly straightforward, but landing on my final 3 took a lot of personal reflection. 

The 3 I ultimately landed on were, in my opinion, essential in expressing the other values on my list and also the ones I most aspired to embody. 

Those 3 were:

* Reliability

* Playfulness

* Sincerity

Hopefully, those who know me see at least some semblance of my demonstrating these values—or else I have far bigger problems in the self-awareness arena 😅.

Today, I want to expand on these 3 values.

What do these words mean to me?

Why do I think they’re important?

And how have they shaped the choices I’ve made?

#1: Reliability

My dad’s always been painfully punctual. Whether it was picking me up after school, a basketball practice, or a party well passed their typical bedtime, the Honda Civic was parked right on the curb right when he said it’d be there.

My mom was similar. 7 PM dinner meant stoves were off and every plate of piping hot food was set on the dining table right on the dot even after she’s worked a full 10-hour day.

And despite working like maniacs, when a vacation was actually planned my parents never rescheduled or canceled no matter how crazy work got for them.

That was their way of showing love, keeping promises, showing up every single day, doing exactly what they say they were going to do for their son, and never complaining or making excuses.

And they did this for their friends as well. My dad would pull all-nighters to make sure his friend's car would be fixed and ready by the weekend. My mom would still show up to work despite a hand injury barely allowing her to grip a pen.

They do all this without fanfare, never expecting a single pat on the back. For them, it’s not about extravagant and heroic displays, it’s about consistent, reliable, and resilient effort coming from a sense of genuine love and duty.

At the end of the day, I also want to embody those qualities for the people I love.

The little things matter a lot here. Being punctual so you’re respectful of people’s time. Being engaged so people know you’re cherishing the moment you have with them. Being emotionally resilient so you’re able to provide the support they need without projecting your own emotional baggage. They’re not things that always make an immediate impact, but over time—if done repeatedly—they form the trust and connection foundational to any meaningful relationship.

You can’t trust someone you can’t rely on. And for me, being reliable boils down to both ability and intention.

We all intend to be supportive friends, good listeners, and capable partners but we also need the ability to be those things on a consistent basis.

It doesn’t mean we’ll be perfect, but we all need to be able to look at ourselves in the mirror and say that we’ve done everything we could.

That’s honestly driving a large part of my personal development. I'm equipping myself with emotional awareness so I have the tools and resilience to support the people around me.

Like my parents, I want to become a person people can always count on.

#2: Playfulness

If there’s one thing I can confidently say that I do better than almost anyone, it’s my ability to find levity in almost every situation. “Annoyingly positive” has been used to describe me on a number of occasions and it’s a label I wear proudly.

I fundamentally believe that everyone can benefit from taking more things less seriously. In the grand, cosmic scheme of the universe, there are very few things that are actually existential.

I’m not saying that we should never be serious, but I think we’re all better off when we approach situations with an infectious sense of playfulness.

Also, being just a little mischievous makes life so much more interesting.

I ultimately chose “Playfulness” as one of my values because it encapsulates so many other virtues that I believe are essential to living life to its fullest—particularly: curiosity, positivity, and spontaneity.

Am I excited to learn new things?

Am I genuinely interested in the person in front of me?

Am I open to new ideas, opportunities, and experiences even if it means stepping out of my comfort zone?

I want to answer “Yes” to all of those questions as often as I can. And I would even go as far as to say that we could all say “Yes” to more things in general.

I’m not advocating for being in a perpetual state of bliss and avoiding anything that’s emotionally difficult. And I'll acknowledge that self-help advice can often devolve into platitudes that border on toxic positivity. But for me, playfulness is the optimistic belief that the world is, by and large, a beautiful place, with wonderful people, and incredible opportunities—even with the occasional bumps along the way.

Playfulness is approaching challenges with an open and curious mind, supported by an unshakeable belief that most things aren’t that dire and, with enough persistence and ingenuity, we can figure things out.

My personal development journey is about learning how to cultivate this sense of play more often because when I’m curious, positive, and open to new ideas, I also happen to be the most energized, inspired, and impactful.

#3: Sincerity

Either a terrible liar or everyone around me is equipped with incredible bull sh*t radars.

Either way, I know there’s nothing more off-putting than feeling like someone is being dishonest or manipulative.

We often find ourselves in situations that incentivize behavior that isn’t sincere. We’re tempted to impress someone important. We feel pressure to manipulate a certain outcome. We hesitate to really express what we think even when we know honesty could benefit someone we care about.

Sincerity doesn’t mean being 100% honest 100% of the time but it does mean doing everything in our power to match our words and actions with our intentions.

It's compliments that come organically from a true sense of recognition—not platitudes meant to sway someone’s opinion of you.

It’s a genuine desire to spend quality time with someone because you enjoy their company—not because of some ulterior motive.

It’s actually following through on what you said you’d do—not just making empty promises.

I believe this is where I’ve grown the most since I’ve committed to write more often. It’s forced me to be more honest with myself which has allowed me to be more honest with people I care about.

There’s still a lot of work to do here but there’s something beautiful about better understanding yourself—your strengths, your flaws, and what you need—and then translating that self-awareness into richer relationships with the people around you.

To my close friends and loved ones…thank you :)

I had a happy realization while writing this post: I’m not embarking on this journey of personal development alone.

Reliability, playfulness, and sincerity act as my north stars and I feel fortunate to find inspiration all around me.

To put it plainly, the people in my life embody the qualities that I aspire to have.

So going back to the questions that started this whole exercise about values: “What am I working towards?” and "Why am I working on myself?"

It’s reciprocation. I’ve benefitted tremendously from people I love demonstrating these values I’m working towards. They've served as role models, embodying the virtues that have directly made my life richer.

It seems appropriate that this never-ending journey of self-development is marching towards me better embodying these values to return the favor. 

And that’s a journey I’m really excited to be on.

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