July 11, 2023

Finding Your True Self in Sobriety, Even When Your Partner Doesn't Support your Recovery

35 minutes

As a recovery coach with over six years of sobriety, Sonia Kahlon shares her personal struggles with addiction and how she found her path to healing.

Originally from Toronto, Canada, Sonia has been living in the States for 25 years. She reflects on her early experiences attending non-12-step meetings, where she initially felt disconnected from the recovery community.

Growing up as the only Indian kid in a predominantly white school, Sonia always felt like she didn't fit in, a common experience for many individuals who turn to addiction. Alcohol was introduced to her at a young age, and she vividly recalls the void it filled in her life, temporarily alleviating anxiety and discomfort. Over time, alcohol became both a social lubricant and a coping mechanism, leading to a decade-long battle with binge drinking.

Sonia's drinking escalated when she started a business after college, using alcohol to escape the pressures of work. This took a toll on her mental and physical well-being, resulting in sleepless nights and constant hangovers. Although she acknowledged the problem a few years before quitting, Sonia struggled to imagine a life without alcohol and feared missing out on experiences.

However, Sonia's perspective began to shift when she explored new interests and hobbies that she had neglected during her drinking years. By selling her business and working with incarcerated individuals and victims of sex trafficking, she discovered fulfillment in serving others. Embracing her curiosity, she reignited her passion for art and writing, using these creative outlets to express her journey of sobriety. Despite her ex-husband's lack of support, Sonia found strength and the encouragement to seek recovery on her own.

Throughout the episode, Sonia addresses the challenges she faced when her ex-husband questioned her sobriety and blamed it for their relationship issues. She recognized that his criticisms stemmed from his discomfort with her new identity as a sober person. Despite the pain caused by their breakup, Sonia firmly believes that her recovery and sobriety were not the problem. She acknowledges the transformative power of recovery in her personal growth and finding her true purpose—helping other high-functioning addicts who may struggle to identify with traditional notions of addiction.

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