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Fine Is a Trap: Breaking Free from the Work-Sleep-Repeat Cycle
Send Lauri a message
What does it cost to keep saying "I'm fine"? Executive coach Lauren Lefkowitz broke both her shoulders chasing a Roomba.
In this episode of Untamed Leader, Lauri and Lauren unpack the price of the work-sleep-repeat cycle — and what it takes to want more for yourself when you've spent a lifetime being good at everything except rest.
Lauren is an executive coach and founder of Fine Is a Trap. She spent nearly 20 years in corporate HR, coaching on the side, and overworking at 80–100 hours a week — until she couldn't raise her hand to volunteer anymore. What followed was a real-life experiment in untaming: five-minute morning reads, boundary scripts, and learning that a goal without a plan is just a wish.
They talk about:
- Why high achievers can be the last to know they're drowning
- The connection between "I don't want this" and knowing what you do want
- What it feels like to finally have evenings and weekends — and why that's terrifying
- The all-or-nothing trap that keeps ambitious women stuck
- Small steps that actually stick (and why they outperform big leaps every time)
1. "Fine" is a lid. It keeps you from falling further — and from rising higher. The same word that protects you also becomes the ceiling.
2. High achievers are often the least equipped to see their own burnout. Being good at doing doesn't make you good at feeling. The skills that built your career can keep you from noticing you're barely surviving.
3. Wanting change and knowing how to change are two different things. You can desperately want something different and still have no idea where to start. That gap isn't weakness — it's just the next thing to solve.
4. Clarity about what you don't want is a valid starting point. You don't have to know what you want in order to move. Start with what feels wrong, icky, or off — and let the opposites reveal themselves from there.
5. A goal without a plan is a wish. Intention without structure evaporates. Real change happens in the tiniest, most boringly specific steps — not in big declarations.
6. The all-or-nothing mind is its own trap. If you can't do it all the way, it doesn't mean don't start. One five-minute read in the morning is the beginning of something. Perfectionism masquerades as standards.
7. Space is terrifying before it's liberating. When you stop filling every hour, the first thing you feel is the chemicals leaving your body. That discomfort is withdrawal — not a sign you've made a mistake.
8. Self-serving is a leadership skill. You cannot pour from a cup you've never filled. Filling your own tank first is what makes genuine, sustained service possible — not the martyr who runs on scraps.
9. You are not the most objective person about yourself. The things you can't see about yourself are exactly what other people can see clearly. Community and coaching aren't luxuries — they're mirrors.
Connect with Lauren:
Website: fineisatrap.com
LinkedIn: Lauren Lefkowitz
Support the show
Thank you so much for listening!
Take the free Speaker Alter Ego Quiz to find out which protective mask is hiding your wild, untamed radiance.
https://voice-matters.com/speaker-alter-ego-quiz/
Follow me on:
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/voice_matters_llc/
Linkedin https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauri-smith-voice-matters/
YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@voicematters9646
View all episodes
By Lauri SmithSend Lauri a message
What does it cost to keep saying "I'm fine"? Executive coach Lauren Lefkowitz broke both her shoulders chasing a Roomba.
In this episode of Untamed Leader, Lauri and Lauren unpack the price of the work-sleep-repeat cycle — and what it takes to want more for yourself when you've spent a lifetime being good at everything except rest.
Lauren is an executive coach and founder of Fine Is a Trap. She spent nearly 20 years in corporate HR, coaching on the side, and overworking at 80–100 hours a week — until she couldn't raise her hand to volunteer anymore. What followed was a real-life experiment in untaming: five-minute morning reads, boundary scripts, and learning that a goal without a plan is just a wish.
They talk about:
- Why high achievers can be the last to know they're drowning
- The connection between "I don't want this" and knowing what you do want
- What it feels like to finally have evenings and weekends — and why that's terrifying
- The all-or-nothing trap that keeps ambitious women stuck
- Small steps that actually stick (and why they outperform big leaps every time)
1. "Fine" is a lid. It keeps you from falling further — and from rising higher. The same word that protects you also becomes the ceiling.
2. High achievers are often the least equipped to see their own burnout. Being good at doing doesn't make you good at feeling. The skills that built your career can keep you from noticing you're barely surviving.
3. Wanting change and knowing how to change are two different things. You can desperately want something different and still have no idea where to start. That gap isn't weakness — it's just the next thing to solve.
4. Clarity about what you don't want is a valid starting point. You don't have to know what you want in order to move. Start with what feels wrong, icky, or off — and let the opposites reveal themselves from there.
5. A goal without a plan is a wish. Intention without structure evaporates. Real change happens in the tiniest, most boringly specific steps — not in big declarations.
6. The all-or-nothing mind is its own trap. If you can't do it all the way, it doesn't mean don't start. One five-minute read in the morning is the beginning of something. Perfectionism masquerades as standards.
7. Space is terrifying before it's liberating. When you stop filling every hour, the first thing you feel is the chemicals leaving your body. That discomfort is withdrawal — not a sign you've made a mistake.
8. Self-serving is a leadership skill. You cannot pour from a cup you've never filled. Filling your own tank first is what makes genuine, sustained service possible — not the martyr who runs on scraps.
9. You are not the most objective person about yourself. The things you can't see about yourself are exactly what other people can see clearly. Community and coaching aren't luxuries — they're mirrors.
Connect with Lauren:
Website: fineisatrap.com
LinkedIn: Lauren Lefkowitz
Support the show
Thank you so much for listening!
Take the free Speaker Alter Ego Quiz to find out which protective mask is hiding your wild, untamed radiance.
https://voice-matters.com/speaker-alter-ego-quiz/
Follow me on:
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/voice_matters_llc/
Linkedin https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauri-smith-voice-matters/
YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@voicematters9646