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My breath is shallow,
My heart is lonely.
The poster shadow
Of many moons forshadoed.
Again, I lie awake, screaming,
Not calling
I'm screening your calls
You want ice cream with that,
Or what.
(Or what)
Probably or what, though
In a nutshell,
I don't want you
I thought your hollow bones
Could swallow us whole
To another,
Long, long gone
Summer.
Sure, the show goes on
—but it won't without you.
For sure,
The show goes on—
But it won't without you
Turn the phone on,
Turn it over
At the airport,
Watching Conan
Oh yeah,
A honey blonde,
Shucks.
Honeysuckle wants only
To become
Sweet, ripe salmon berry
(Don't you want to)
At the airport,
Watching conan
Overhead, I
Overheard a phone call
“What the fuck did you just say?”
It's been 3 days;
She went missing at MIA
No connection to jfk
No connection at all Munroe, you blind bastard
All the water
All the drugs
All in the wash
It's water under the toenails
(Four fingers up,
But the fourth one lost it)
At the airport
Watching Conan
I over heard you
Turn the phone off
Semi-sync or something,
Semi dysfunction
Chemists hemispheres
All his fears are
In my head
I stand at the front at the edge of the the platform so there's just less temptation to jump
(White Nikes is for chumps)
Everybody is a goddamn DJ these days
Especially on her bday
When she asks for a replay of that remix
Bitch please
I sit alone bc with my phone and my notebook.
By the end of a river
A cold brook
Wrote a whole mother novel
A classy story
For the world gone wrong
You fucking Morin
Fungi up I get more fond l
I stand in the train with my back against the wall
So the shadow markers won't stand behind
And grab me
Fuck man, fuck off
There's a lot of blue here
Must be something to do here
I need new gear
Stuck inside of my l life
Since new years
Whose here?
WHAT THE FUCK MORGIE?
SUNNI!
MORE HEINIKEN!!!!
You CANNOT. Drink with that ankle monitor on.
I know.
So why are you drinking?!
I took the ankle monitor off.
Nogga yo feet is small.
Like smaller than mine.
I been staring at your gut this whole train ride.
How the fuck are you like a 5x
And your feet are a ladies size 6?
The fuck.
You need some help, bro.
I ain't been to the gym in two days
But you got fairy feet
My nigga
My hip bone s apes against the railing;
I've three children, but you'd not know I;
I'm holding in cereal, cleaning out stuff for cereal boxes m,
Audio level
Aux chords polished
Shined as silver,
Hair as Golden,
Still no meadows,
My eyes rest in
My, I'm tired.
Please don't mind me,
Bright blue jumper
Still no meadow
I lay down in
Still no meadow
Hair as golden
Old blue boxers
Boxes
Please don't mind me
Oh, you started it
Oh, you started it
No motion sensors
Already alcoholic,
Still halls
And still water
Oh,
You started it
Oh. You started it
Sure, don't fall out of
Heroin antics,
Sure, don't fall forward,
Only to fall out
Oh. You started it
Damn! Why the devil always gotta stand behind a motherfucker, huh?
Fuckin creepo.
Haven't you decided yet that you are the devil.
I am one and all
And all things, I am
Still in my mind I am,
Never behind,
But always ahead
Always right, and not wit wars
I stand in line for the stairs
The slower the better the more I write
Imm on fast God
Fasting time
I'm on fully automatic
The faster we go
The harder the heroin
The longer we stop for
The harder we party
Off bandwagon
There I go—
(Are I now)
There you are?
Fully automotive
Fully automatic
Fully on the wrong road.
It matters hoping
No more tears for lost stardom
No more neon signs
No halter tops
Shit, I work harder in hell
When I don't have my phone off
Shit, I work harder in hell
When I take all my clothes off.
I couldn't even pretend to give two fucks right now
I'm chained to a train
With another one headed right towards me.
I don't mind what's the line your on
Whose line is it anyway, good line at the equinox
Step over me
Hoarder
I'll say,
Here for all time;
Wherefor art though
Simple and stuck
In my own ways
All day I sat in haides
No semtember
Sick morons
Long, long October
Still started
No water
Two dogs
And a blonde
No show starter.
But There goes all that
All the next understudies
And sure profiles,
Fair weather friends again
—creepy ass inanimate muppets.
Fuck, man.
Somebody stick their fuckin hand up Elmo's ass before I punch him.
Don't punch Elmo.
Who doesn't love Elmo.
I do not.
What did you say your name was?
I didn't.
What did you say is your expertise?
Rhythms.
Mister mister l
NOOOOOOOO.
Some black dude rubbed his whole dick against my wrist on the subway train.
gnarly.
It was warm.
And weird—
Like a fucking
Sleeping cat
Under Egyptian cotton
AGHHHHHHJ.
AOh no.
I THOUGHT MY HAND WENT PARALYZED.
It just siezed up, real crunchy, like—
*chicken foot arm*
I automatically had like the whole thing going on.
The worst part was that it was warm—
And soft//
But HUGE.
I was like
What ANIMAL is that.
I will never.
I could NEVER
I said.
what.
I just got to the point in my life where I realized I wasn't interested in anything.
!but especially
I'm looking for
Sage to burn
I goy money go burn
I got time to earn mi got money to chase
Ain't got money to waste
You've got to admit x
It's a good savings system
—for once, the sauce sounded like symphonies
And wreaked of green peppers, or rather, was fragrant
CHECKPOINT!
I remember this part!
I remember this place
This time
This dance
This song,
Then— everyone does
And everything does, doesn't it?
Show ants the advocate
The advocate of another time
I think I ran here on
What if everything cheaper online
But it's just the adventure you wished for
Have you ever tried to be mad
With squeaky ass shoes on
Seriously
Have you ever tied to like walk away
Or stop away mad
With squeaky ass shoes?
Is that the pub?
I guess.
You guess! Is this the right pub or is it not?
I don't know which pub is the right pub! He just said “Irish pub” you could throw a rock and hit one!
Sometimes it's best,
To just not give
A single fuck at all
At all at all
A single fuck at all.
I don't give a flipping song!
Woah now
i don't give a flap or a stick!
Alright, alright.
Leave me alone to die
I'll melt inside the world
A coin upon a string
Run, girl, run
Of course, of course
It lives again
It'll come again
When the Sunnis down.
I can't wait till the sundown
I can't wait till the world is kind
And the girls are gone
And the birds all hush
And the dogs don't bark
And the sun downt come
Till I'm long long gone and out of it
I'm over her, no more war and art over sodom
And stardom as startuduat
Like I said, you started it
I always did
I didn't want
I only done
To suffer
Suffer more
Will you rot you blossom corpse
The art is done
The art is done!
The water's hot
No wonder white people fucking hate us.
I saw a black dude on the train. Today with his dick in his pocket.
NO, GOD.
WHY!
And he was holding it, too.
I'm like
“What for?!”
Jesus Christ's.
It was in his pocket.
Outlined and everything,
With his fucking grip around it
Like it was a fucking animal.
No!
No!
Man some people are so fuckin wrong
I hate pda.
I fuckin hate it.
The Real versions come across a parallel reality's version of themselves—who by some chance, also happened to cross paths with each other—however—this band of miscreants are HOOLIGANS—unruly lawbreakers who cause chaos, confusion, and trouble to the good people of
Where the fuck is this.
—wherever they are.
Don't come round here!
I will fuck your socks off— and sell them back to you!
The sex was free;
But the socks will cost you.
But—they're my socks.
Were and could be again…for a price.
Goddamn.
Yes, Goddamn indeed.
BROH.
JOHN OLIVER IS MAD BRITISH.
AVADAKAVARAH!
I TOLD YOU, I WAS A WITCH DOCTOR!
WHATEVER! I THOUGHT YOU WERE A LATE NIGHT HOST!
EVERYBODY HAS A DAY JOB.
THAT'S A NIGHT JOB!
EXPECTO-PA–
POTTER!!!
WHAT IN THE [BEEP}! YOU'RE A WIZARD?!
OF COURSE I'M A BLOODY WIZARD–WHAT THE HELL DO I LOOK LIKE TO YOU?!
ANOTHER LATE NIGHT HOST–OR WHATEVER!
“OR WHATEVER” I'M A WIZARD–
HARRY.
What the [bleep]
EVERYBODY HAS A DAY JOB
™
Please, by all means,
Keep your pretty white girlfriend.
I want to see those eyes come through
What a handsome couple.
They are the scariest thing ever.
Let them be, then;
Out to be fun to watch.
I can't listen to Drake on my loud speakers bro.
Not—like loud, man.
That shit makes me feel like a whole ass basic black girl.
True story.
Sometimes you gotta distance yourself from the “yassss” birds.
I saw this one comedian performing—
Well, I think he was a comedian.
He wasn't funny to me but,
He had like 710K followers
And he was really really pretty.
I had to notice that, because as imm listening to him preform, about 30 minutes into the video—
I was waiting to see if he would make me actually laugh—
He didn't—
But—
As I was trying to figure out how he has 710K followers
And has not made me laugh, not once
I start paying closer attention to him—
And I realize;
“Oh”
He is major good looking.
At first I didn't notice—
I like white guys— so,
Of course,
At first glance
I'm like
“Hey brother!”
You know, like
“That's my son!”
I'm like
“Yeah, make me laugh, boy.”
But he didn't
And then as I start to wonder
Like,
Why or how he has so large of a following
I notice he's very beautiful.
And I mean, like mad gorgeous.
Like ideally—
I'm like
“Oh” and as I'm realizing this,
He's saying the punchline to a “joke,”
And as he's saying it, I realize that way in the back,
Like you can hear that they're in the back
Cause the camera is in the center,
And like half of the audience is behind the film crew
, and you can hear these girls are in the way—
Like in the way back
Like in the way, way back,
You can hear like a pack of ratchets—
Yes— these must be his die hards—
His squad.
Not like his homies or anything, but like
The Groupies.
You know.
The hopefuls.
He's got this group of black girls like hackling in the back, like clapping hard at all his punches like
“YAS!”
“SAY IT!”
And it was funny because his reaction to these girls was like
“I'm—not in control of this.”
“RIGHT!”
“SAY LESS!”
I'm like,
Oh, I see how that works, now.
{Enter The Multiverse}
And even I
Just want it to fucking stop
So it can just be over with
Oh why,
Not another fucking lover boy
After all of them
Oh no—
But this one's worse;
Maybe even the worst of all of them
Because as I exit my prison cell,
I find this dude behind bars—
Maybe even happily.
And now I'm out into the world
Supposedly free—
But still trapped with this mentality
As if whatever I had before—
Maybe even possibly the worst, lowest existence
At least for me,
Was somehow
Better
—can anyone tell me why?
Not even God, besides the obvious point that perhaps
The Devil is in the mind;
He likes to arouse,
To play games,
And tricks
And I,
Myself
Perhaps
Have fallen prey,
Not to become victim to this;
But a player in the game.
A pawn.
AND WHY HAS NOBODY DRAWN ON THESE YET,
THEY'VE BEEN UP FOR SEEMINGLY
forever and always
And this nigga has
Not one snaggletooth
No graffiti tettoos
No fucking sharpie lip injections.
Nothing.
Do you remember that story how Johnny Depp hated his face up on a billboard—
So he went rogue and painted over it?
Yeah? So?
What if it's like that.
I don't think it's like that.
—I think it's the opposite of that, actually.
And if anything—
If I see not a one defacing of these posters
And they are everywhere
If anything,
Jimmy Fallon is the guy
With a spray bottle of acetone
And a fucking microfiber rag
Wiping that shit off
In his free time
WHAT FREE TIME?
You tell me.
But first—
Somebody—
Anybody tell me
Why this happened.
At all.
Anybody?
Somebody.
C'mon.
{Enter The Multiverse}
If you'll excuse me, I actually have to get going.
Where are you going?
I don't know:
I just—
JOHNNY DEPP must be going.
Have to.
he does not know, however, that he is stuck in a movie—which has no definitive ending.
Well actually,
This movie has like—
30 alternative endings
Wait, 30 alternative endings?
30-40
Woah.
That's nuts.
Which makes it even cooler.
If you ever blow my mind again like that,
I'll actually kill you.
I've been watching a lot of LMN
Lifetime movie network—Why?!
Because this shit is hilarious!
Isn't it!
YO. This shit is PIZZA
It IS.
What? Why is it pizza?
Cause it's not pizza If it's not CHEEZY.
ahaha.
While traditional Thai pineapple fried rice has tomatoes within the vegetable medley, I opted instead for this recipe to use a sauced red pepper tomato sauce glaze to top the dish, for a new school American twist and flare.
½ cup chopped mushrooms
½ cup scallions
¼ cup white onion
½ cup red onion
¼ cup Pasilla pepper
½ cup red pepper cup white onions
½ cup yellow pepper
¾ cup green pepper
1 cup fresh basil
1 cup fresh pineapple
UmBRIDGE.
What.
NO, Um—
A bridge appears out of nowhere.
lol why do you have no hair?
I dunno; mate.
Wizards.
Don't go there—
You're fired.
I beg your pardon
Please, don't beg. You are officially decommissioned as headmaster!
This is the minister of magic
Is that what it was.
I guess, I don't know; I'm just along for the
STEWIE.
WHAT MA, WHAT.
TEN AND TWO!!
You know what, let me drive.
Oh, finally—stewie has his own aplorable Boston accent, (hybrid proper English, of course. )
What does that even sound like
Strange.
The lady working at Trader Joe's was so beautiful to me, I had to tell her.
I loved her Locs, I loved her glasses
I loved her accent.
So I just had to ask where she's from—
I do that sometimes.
If I really love someone's accent,
I have to ask where their from to try to get there one day;
So I asked her,
“Where are you from?”
And she says
“Haiti,”
And I was like
“Wow, cool”
And then I thought about it for a second,
And I asked
“Do you ever miss home”
And she just laughed
I was like
“Oh, guess not”
Some context
I had been homesick lately,
But I grew up in Alaska
And I consider myself from California,
Having spent most of my adult life there
So coming to New York has been like
Living on the other side of the world;
And sometimes that sucks.
But sometimes, and I have realized that wherever you're from,
To get to New York is sometimes a blessing.
She didn't even say yes or no,
She just laughed.
Now I'm worried about Haiti.
I was worried about it before;
But now I'm like;
“Do you miss home?”
She's like
“Hahaha”
I'm like
“Oh damn.”
I count my blessings.
So JOHNNY DEPP just like excuses himself, wanders out into the street, and then—?
Yeah.
And then what?
I don't know yet, I'm kind of busy these days.
“BUSY?!”
BUSY DOING WHAT?!
Beep boop.
Eee—ooh.
Beep—boop—boop.
Yah-yah-yah—
APPLESAURCE
APPLESAURCE
APPLESAURCE
I'll show you all my scars, huh
This one, she look like the reaper
That's my girl,
You bet she a keeper
Ya'll sleepin on us
What
Yeah
What
Yeah
What
You sleeping on us
I been in this b'niss
APPLESAURCE
APPLESAURCE
APPLESAURCE
I LIKE BALLS
IN MY FACE
I LIKE BALLS
IN MY FACE
I LIKE BALLS
IN MY FACE
ILIKEBALLSINMYFACE.
I LIKE BALLS
IN MY FACE
I LIKE BALLS
IN MY FACE
I LIKE BALLS
IN MY FACE
ILIKEBALLSINMYFACE.
I LIKE BALLS
IN MY FACE
I LIKE BALLS
IN MY FACE
I LIKE BALLS
IN MY FACE
ILIKEBALLSINMYFACE.
It's not a bad song.
Is it a song?
Is it?
idk
I just like balls in my face, is all.
ILIKEBALLSINMYFACE.
[A Classic red dodgeball beams
Who is it?
WILL FERREL
Is that how you spell it?
Why will Ferrel?
Cause I Want it TO
MAKE ME LAUGH.
HOW.
JUST DO IT.
Oh. I get it: So my pain is funny to you?
[FINE, IT'S SOMEONE ELSE]
Oh shit, that guy did look just like Will Ferrel, but OLD.
He's old now, ain't he?
Wasn't he always?
[FINE]
CUT.
I QUIT.
CUT TO:
You and I, sir, have a longstanding arrangement.
Would it be more comfortable to–sit?
Yikes.
(Whatever, we'll work on it.)
[The Festiva–
{Enter The Multiverse}
I need a toothbrush to scrub my brain.
I'm
The lilly of the valley
In the
Belly of the beast
I been swallowed by a whale
I'm a whole damn story
Woah
I am the Lilly of the the valley
I am the rider of the horse
I am seeker of truth
Writer of lines
Sayer of lies
(I might say a lie;
But I just won't tell it)
What is your deal with the devil.
She knows I have a deal with ‘em.
Well, the truth is—
I have to turn ya!
He's a good old country boy—
From the simple south—
A simple soul
And they all believed him,
word for word
“I's born in New York”
—he sounded assured.
Gone, now, boy
Go crack dat corn.
Gone down south
Go crack dat corn
Gone, ol boy
Go crack dat corn m
—got no soul?
Go crack dat corn.
Aaaaghhh.
I have a headache.
why the fuck are you freaking out?!
Because I don't know what I wrote.
I must admit,
There are things
Where there should be no things
There are springs
Where there should be no springs
There are strings
Where there should be no strings
And imm quite sure
With no rules enforced
—it's just a static cling
Sort of thing
OWW, my EYES.
Nobody should have this much power.
Nobody does.
I don't get it.
(I still don't understand why this happened.)
He must have perfect genetics.
Or something.
THIS FOOL IS FIXING ME UP TO DIE!!!!!
I AM THECRISCO QUEEN
DIRTY NOT CLEAN
WHAT CAN I SAY
I LIKE
GREASE
MONEY EVERYDAY
BANKROLL
INCREASE
DEEP FRY HIGH
SUNNI BLŪ
Yo
VO.
Ok— so sometimes things go shitty.
Like, mad shitty.
YOOOOO.
My measurements are 34C, 24 waist, and 55 in height.
I couldn't understand why a girl this perfect should have to be selling sex at all,
But I supposed nowadays, all women were prostitutes in some sort of way.
This one's 22 years old and 96 pounds
Men are sick fucking creatures.
Whose fucking child is this?!
COME GET YOUR DAUGHTER.
Although, you know—I get it.
My mom bought a Mercedes in cash
And I'm still in educational debt.
I just now today realized.
That could have been a college fund.
But she wanted a Mercedes.
It's okay that I'm a bit fucked up in the head.
Something went terribly wrong.
All and all,
Myself and this perfect girl,
Cost around the same
For an entire night—
But hey,
I think she's low balling herself
On the 24 hour special.
That's an entire day of my time,
That's at least 10K.
♀️
She has a perfect body and two eyes that are different colors,
But I'm a literary genius.
You don't need words to soothe your boner thiugh,
Or show off at a black tie function, do you?
A stroll on the red carpet,
Or some opulent fucking
5-star charade.
How much does she cost, I wonder?
She says,
“I also accept bitcoin, etherum, gold and silver.”
On God,
These fake lip hoes is robbin' niggas.
Men are sick creatures though.
“Here's my gold watch”
Fucking gross.
I cruise escort sites for entertainment,
Having learned my value as a woman isn't the visual,
Visceral thing men are usually looking for—
No judgement,
Because I've realized that if I too had a perfect body.
I myself would be living in some kind of oppulent, prostitution fuck-hole,
With everybody else in my generation,
That didn't get married—
And then, probably divorced.
I realized a long time ago that this was the reason my mother
Always hated my body more than I ever could have— which is fine,
Because eventually I inherited this hatred.
I could have eventually grown out of it—
But she couldn't see that.
I was a “nasty fat heifer”
On her worst days,
And now,
Even on my best days—
I still am.
Nevermind that eventually my ex husband would
Think of my hair as nappy, or
That I actually did end up kind of sort of growing out of being
A fat, nasty heifer—
Kind of.
But the fact that it's taken me the entirety of my life to realize my worth as a woman
Would always be defined by that
Of what a man idealized as
“Worthy”
Well,
That in itself
Gives me the dismissive ability
To have days where I do nothing,
But sit back,
Cruising escort sites and shipping on Amazon for yoga mats,
Wanting the experience of the world
Without really being beautiful enough for it
And waiting to fade
Into the next lifetime.
[All the black girls cost less
Because they have to.]
Men are sick creatures.
They'll take a butterface,
Ugly ass white girl
Over a pretty one that's dark skinned
And these are just
The facts of life
(So far.)
Piper of Phoenix
Valiant, bold, and brazen
This woman, I love—
In the wings for fortune,
To honor, I love
With wisdom,
And aged like fine wine
We all become
I want body like Sofia
But never met the real Rebecca.
Yo.
YO.
Let's spend $60 o lip gloss.
Okay.
Hey.
Ways crackin.
I just bought a $12,000 mattress.
Let's take a nap in it.
Hey girl.
Heeeeeeey.
This yoga mat cost $200.
That's fresh.
You think THATS RICH?!
Seems pretty rich to me.
You can't get any of this stuff on Amazon.
That's fucking psycho.
These loafers?
Uh uh.
$2,000.
For WAT.
(Whispers)
Eeel skiiiin.
Gross!
I'm HUNGRY
Got grits,
Ain't got no sugar.
No butter—
—ain't hurt nobody.
Poverty is a whole damn show.
Close the door
On a broke ass bitch.
Poverty is a whole damn story.
Got no bucks for the Whole Foods market
Shopping carts full of old ass garbage
No reward
For a woke ass artist
I'm HUNGRY.
I killed myself 3 times his morning.
POOR SNOOP is still a whole ass G
BET ON IT HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL RAP COVER -$15
BROKE WAYNE AINT HAVING IT
CHRIS ROCK THE METRO TRAIN DRIVER is NOT FUNNY—
(He's still a ladies man though.)
LCD SYSTEM
HOOGLI BOOGLI is the reason they fear us.
HOOGLI BOOGLI IS THE BLACKEST BLACK THAT EVER BLACKED.
UNLIKE NIGGLY NIGGA—he is NOT FRIENDLY.
He is the stuff of nightmares.
A world gone wrong.
Two bloodshot eyes on a black backdrop
Dark black.
I sold not state at screen
They go uno in te night
This shit doesn't make much sense,
Does it?
Doesn't
Matter
Antimatter.
Ow.
How far is antimatter from antithesis?
Is this just a Christmas present
Never said it, same diff
Something something something
SHUT UP.
So to re-iterate—
Uh huh.
Niggly Nigga is friendly…
Yeah, he's just—
—he just looks like that.
AH.
What happened.
Don't stand behind me like that, my nigga.
Srry.
{Enter The Multiverse}
[The Festival Project.™]
COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. ©
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©
-Ū.
Okay, that'll work.
#timetravelingdjs
Enough with these weak dick pussy motherfuckers..
I still got 30 minutes in my cycle routine!
Here you come with your pussy ass punches;
AIGH.
OOOOOH.
Come on, put some weight in them shits!
Pretend it's my face.
Damn. I lost fat Jimmy Fallon.
How'd you lose him?! He's hard to lose!
And slow!
Damn!
THE SUPER FAT JIMMY FALLON is trying to slim down; he munches on a chocolate chewy bar (read: eats it in two biles and grips the wrapper anxiously.)
Imm a whole ass nigga
Come try take me out my head
I got corn in the fridge
I got bread
I got money to spend
On you
(On you$
On you
I got money to spend
On you I
I gotta go
What happened
Jew stuff.
Ah yes.
I remember now.
Yeah, that's a Jew.
Rabbi?!
Shh! Shut up!
But—
Shut up!
Yo. Bama.
BARAK OBAMA
I told you, don't call me that.
Sorry—listen, Barak.
President—
President Obama.
[beat]
…yes?
Look, I need a favor.
You still owe me one.
Put it on my tab. Listen, this is importsnt!
-_-
I think I control my neighbors.
Yikes.
For real. I think they move based on when I move.
Seems like it.
You're right! It seems like it.
I was agreeing with you.
BROH.
They got planted baby bell cheeses!
THEYGOTPLANTBASEDBABYBELLCHEESES
I kinda wanna see if Dillon Francis is a dad yet .
I'm tryna see like a tiny version of this.
Of what.
Don't change a thing.
I would also like tiny versions of this,
This,
And this—
Please.
Ok.
And this.
Are you sure!?
Yes.
JACK BLACK
don't you ever do that to me AGAIN!
What! I didn't do anything to you!
What?
No!
You didn't? Why not?
What.
What the Fox News! Do you have like an exclusive contract with Fallon, or something?
No, that's NBC.
I really can't talk about it right now, Jack.
Hey hey-/ since when are we on a first name basis?
You know what— you're right—
I know it,
Excuse me, Mr. Black—
I ought to be going.
going where?! You have to get me back to my original dimension!
You don't have an original dimension!
What! Why not,
The fourth wall has been broken, very broken.
And 2.
What's the second point?
You shouldn't have taken that acid.
What acid?! Which time?!
Exactly!
Goddammit!
don't look at me, God made this playlist.
“Jew stuff”
Ever since I inducted Jack black and Alex Baldwin into the impenatrable ten
Ah—ahem
Nobody “inducted us”
There's no induction.
We were just always
—always.
Here.
HOOGLI BOOGLI.
Huh.
DID YOU JACK MY RIMS?
Nah man, wasn't me.
[the rims are sloppily hidden under a potato sack “hidden” obviously in the corner.
Hehe.
NIGGLY NIGGA spots his rims in the corner.
Musical torture.
HOOGLI, THESE ARE MY RIMS.
I don't know how those got there, man, shiet!
Nigga!
What!
HOOGLI BOOGLI
YOU BLACK ASS NIGGA
DONT—COME AROUND MY HOUSE NO MORE
LOL HOW DO NIGGLY NIGGA AND HOOGLI BOOGLI SHARE A HOOD?
Cause it beez like that sometimes.
God damn—
He's so fine to me!
God damn,
He ages like wine!
Goddamn
Goddamn!
I turn the time;
Damn,
Goddamn—
Let's turn back time
{Enter The Multiverse}
[The Festival Project.™]
COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 |
THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. ©
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©
-Ū.
My breath is shallow,
My heart is lonely.
The poster shadow
Of many moons forshadoed.
Again, I lie awake, screaming,
Not calling
I'm screening your calls
You want ice cream with that,
Or what.
(Or what)
Probably or what, though
In a nutshell,
I don't want you
I thought your hollow bones
Could swallow us whole
To another,
Long, long gone
Summer.
Sure, the show goes on
—but it won't without you.
For sure,
The show goes on—
But it won't without you
Turn the phone on,
Turn it over
At the airport,
Watching Conan
Oh yeah,
A honey blonde,
Shucks.
Honeysuckle wants only
To become
Sweet, ripe salmon berry
(Don't you want to)
At the airport,
Watching conan
Overhead, I
Overheard a phone call
“What the fuck did you just say?”
It's been 3 days;
She went missing at MIA
No connection to jfk
No connection at all Munroe, you blind bastard
All the water
All the drugs
All in the wash
It's water under the toenails
(Four fingers up,
But the fourth one lost it)
At the airport
Watching Conan
I over heard you
Turn the phone off
Semi-sync or something,
Semi dysfunction
Chemists hemispheres
All his fears are
In my head
I stand at the front at the edge of the the platform so there's just less temptation to jump
(White Nikes is for chumps)
Everybody is a goddamn DJ these days
Especially on her bday
When she asks for a replay of that remix
Bitch please
I sit alone bc with my phone and my notebook.
By the end of a river
A cold brook
Wrote a whole mother novel
A classy story
For the world gone wrong
You fucking Morin
Fungi up I get more fond l
I stand in the train with my back against the wall
So the shadow markers won't stand behind
And grab me
Fuck man, fuck off
There's a lot of blue here
Must be something to do here
I need new gear
Stuck inside of my l life
Since new years
Whose here?
WHAT THE FUCK MORGIE?
SUNNI!
MORE HEINIKEN!!!!
You CANNOT. Drink with that ankle monitor on.
I know.
So why are you drinking?!
I took the ankle monitor off.
Nogga yo feet is small.
Like smaller than mine.
I been staring at your gut this whole train ride.
How the fuck are you like a 5x
And your feet are a ladies size 6?
The fuck.
You need some help, bro.
I ain't been to the gym in two days
But you got fairy feet
My nigga
My hip bone s apes against the railing;
I've three children, but you'd not know I;
I'm holding in cereal, cleaning out stuff for cereal boxes m,
Audio level
Aux chords polished
Shined as silver,
Hair as Golden,
Still no meadows,
My eyes rest in
My, I'm tired.
Please don't mind me,
Bright blue jumper
Still no meadow
I lay down in
Still no meadow
Hair as golden
Old blue boxers
Boxes
Please don't mind me
Oh, you started it
Oh, you started it
No motion sensors
Already alcoholic,
Still halls
And still water
Oh,
You started it
Oh. You started it
Sure, don't fall out of
Heroin antics,
Sure, don't fall forward,
Only to fall out
Oh. You started it
Damn! Why the devil always gotta stand behind a motherfucker, huh?
Fuckin creepo.
Haven't you decided yet that you are the devil.
I am one and all
And all things, I am
Still in my mind I am,
Never behind,
But always ahead
Always right, and not wit wars
I stand in line for the stairs
The slower the better the more I write
Imm on fast God
Fasting time
I'm on fully automatic
The faster we go
The harder the heroin
The longer we stop for
The harder we party
Off bandwagon
There I go—
(Are I now)
There you are?
Fully automotive
Fully automatic
Fully on the wrong road.
It matters hoping
No more tears for lost stardom
No more neon signs
No halter tops
Shit, I work harder in hell
When I don't have my phone off
Shit, I work harder in hell
When I take all my clothes off.
I couldn't even pretend to give two fucks right now
I'm chained to a train
With another one headed right towards me.
I don't mind what's the line your on
Whose line is it anyway, good line at the equinox
Step over me
Hoarder
I'll say,
Here for all time;
Wherefor art though
Simple and stuck
In my own ways
All day I sat in haides
No semtember
Sick morons
Long, long October
Still started
No water
Two dogs
And a blonde
No show starter.
But There goes all that
All the next understudies
And sure profiles,
Fair weather friends again
—creepy ass inanimate muppets.
Fuck, man.
Somebody stick their fuckin hand up Elmo's ass before I punch him.
Don't punch Elmo.
Who doesn't love Elmo.
I do not.
What did you say your name was?
I didn't.
What did you say is your expertise?
Rhythms.
Mister mister l
NOOOOOOOO.
Some black dude rubbed his whole dick against my wrist on the subway train.
gnarly.
It was warm.
And weird—
Like a fucking
Sleeping cat
Under Egyptian cotton
AGHHHHHHJ.
AOh no.
I THOUGHT MY HAND WENT PARALYZED.
It just siezed up, real crunchy, like—
*chicken foot arm*
I automatically had like the whole thing going on.
The worst part was that it was warm—
And soft//
But HUGE.
I was like
What ANIMAL is that.
I will never.
I could NEVER
I said.
what.
I just got to the point in my life where I realized I wasn't interested in anything.
!but especially
I'm looking for
Sage to burn
I goy money go burn
I got time to earn mi got money to chase
Ain't got money to waste
You've got to admit x
It's a good savings system
—for once, the sauce sounded like symphonies
And wreaked of green peppers, or rather, was fragrant
CHECKPOINT!
I remember this part!
I remember this place
This time
This dance
This song,
Then— everyone does
And everything does, doesn't it?
Show ants the advocate
The advocate of another time
I think I ran here on
What if everything cheaper online
But it's just the adventure you wished for
Have you ever tried to be mad
With squeaky ass shoes on
Seriously
Have you ever tied to like walk away
Or stop away mad
With squeaky ass shoes?
Is that the pub?
I guess.
You guess! Is this the right pub or is it not?
I don't know which pub is the right pub! He just said “Irish pub” you could throw a rock and hit one!
Sometimes it's best,
To just not give
A single fuck at all
At all at all
A single fuck at all.
I don't give a flipping song!
Woah now
i don't give a flap or a stick!
Alright, alright.
Leave me alone to die
I'll melt inside the world
A coin upon a string
Run, girl, run
Of course, of course
It lives again
It'll come again
When the Sunnis down.
I can't wait till the sundown
I can't wait till the world is kind
And the girls are gone
And the birds all hush
And the dogs don't bark
And the sun downt come
Till I'm long long gone and out of it
I'm over her, no more war and art over sodom
And stardom as startuduat
Like I said, you started it
I always did
I didn't want
I only done
To suffer
Suffer more
Will you rot you blossom corpse
The art is done
The art is done!
The water's hot
No wonder white people fucking hate us.
I saw a black dude on the train. Today with his dick in his pocket.
NO, GOD.
WHY!
And he was holding it, too.
I'm like
“What for?!”
Jesus Christ's.
It was in his pocket.
Outlined and everything,
With his fucking grip around it
Like it was a fucking animal.
No!
No!
Man some people are so fuckin wrong
I hate pda.
I fuckin hate it.
The Real versions come across a parallel reality's version of themselves—who by some chance, also happened to cross paths with each other—however—this band of miscreants are HOOLIGANS—unruly lawbreakers who cause chaos, confusion, and trouble to the good people of
Where the fuck is this.
—wherever they are.
Don't come round here!
I will fuck your socks off— and sell them back to you!
The sex was free;
But the socks will cost you.
But—they're my socks.
Were and could be again…for a price.
Goddamn.
Yes, Goddamn indeed.
BROH.
JOHN OLIVER IS MAD BRITISH.
AVADAKAVARAH!
I TOLD YOU, I WAS A WITCH DOCTOR!
WHATEVER! I THOUGHT YOU WERE A LATE NIGHT HOST!
EVERYBODY HAS A DAY JOB.
THAT'S A NIGHT JOB!
EXPECTO-PA–
POTTER!!!
WHAT IN THE [BEEP}! YOU'RE A WIZARD?!
OF COURSE I'M A BLOODY WIZARD–WHAT THE HELL DO I LOOK LIKE TO YOU?!
ANOTHER LATE NIGHT HOST–OR WHATEVER!
“OR WHATEVER” I'M A WIZARD–
HARRY.
What the [bleep]
EVERYBODY HAS A DAY JOB
™
Please, by all means,
Keep your pretty white girlfriend.
I want to see those eyes come through
What a handsome couple.
They are the scariest thing ever.
Let them be, then;
Out to be fun to watch.
I can't listen to Drake on my loud speakers bro.
Not—like loud, man.
That shit makes me feel like a whole ass basic black girl.
True story.
Sometimes you gotta distance yourself from the “yassss” birds.
I saw this one comedian performing—
Well, I think he was a comedian.
He wasn't funny to me but,
He had like 710K followers
And he was really really pretty.
I had to notice that, because as imm listening to him preform, about 30 minutes into the video—
I was waiting to see if he would make me actually laugh—
He didn't—
But—
As I was trying to figure out how he has 710K followers
And has not made me laugh, not once
I start paying closer attention to him—
And I realize;
“Oh”
He is major good looking.
At first I didn't notice—
I like white guys— so,
Of course,
At first glance
I'm like
“Hey brother!”
You know, like
“That's my son!”
I'm like
“Yeah, make me laugh, boy.”
But he didn't
And then as I start to wonder
Like,
Why or how he has so large of a following
I notice he's very beautiful.
And I mean, like mad gorgeous.
Like ideally—
I'm like
“Oh” and as I'm realizing this,
He's saying the punchline to a “joke,”
And as he's saying it, I realize that way in the back,
Like you can hear that they're in the back
Cause the camera is in the center,
And like half of the audience is behind the film crew
, and you can hear these girls are in the way—
Like in the way back
Like in the way, way back,
You can hear like a pack of ratchets—
Yes— these must be his die hards—
His squad.
Not like his homies or anything, but like
The Groupies.
You know.
The hopefuls.
He's got this group of black girls like hackling in the back, like clapping hard at all his punches like
“YAS!”
“SAY IT!”
And it was funny because his reaction to these girls was like
“I'm—not in control of this.”
“RIGHT!”
“SAY LESS!”
I'm like,
Oh, I see how that works, now.
{Enter The Multiverse}
And even I
Just want it to fucking stop
So it can just be over with
Oh why,
Not another fucking lover boy
After all of them
Oh no—
But this one's worse;
Maybe even the worst of all of them
Because as I exit my prison cell,
I find this dude behind bars—
Maybe even happily.
And now I'm out into the world
Supposedly free—
But still trapped with this mentality
As if whatever I had before—
Maybe even possibly the worst, lowest existence
At least for me,
Was somehow
Better
—can anyone tell me why?
Not even God, besides the obvious point that perhaps
The Devil is in the mind;
He likes to arouse,
To play games,
And tricks
And I,
Myself
Perhaps
Have fallen prey,
Not to become victim to this;
But a player in the game.
A pawn.
AND WHY HAS NOBODY DRAWN ON THESE YET,
THEY'VE BEEN UP FOR SEEMINGLY
forever and always
And this nigga has
Not one snaggletooth
No graffiti tettoos
No fucking sharpie lip injections.
Nothing.
Do you remember that story how Johnny Depp hated his face up on a billboard—
So he went rogue and painted over it?
Yeah? So?
What if it's like that.
I don't think it's like that.
—I think it's the opposite of that, actually.
And if anything—
If I see not a one defacing of these posters
And they are everywhere
If anything,
Jimmy Fallon is the guy
With a spray bottle of acetone
And a fucking microfiber rag
Wiping that shit off
In his free time
WHAT FREE TIME?
You tell me.
But first—
Somebody—
Anybody tell me
Why this happened.
At all.
Anybody?
Somebody.
C'mon.
{Enter The Multiverse}
If you'll excuse me, I actually have to get going.
Where are you going?
I don't know:
I just—
JOHNNY DEPP must be going.
Have to.
he does not know, however, that he is stuck in a movie—which has no definitive ending.
Well actually,
This movie has like—
30 alternative endings
Wait, 30 alternative endings?
30-40
Woah.
That's nuts.
Which makes it even cooler.
If you ever blow my mind again like that,
I'll actually kill you.
I've been watching a lot of LMN
Lifetime movie network—Why?!
Because this shit is hilarious!
Isn't it!
YO. This shit is PIZZA
It IS.
What? Why is it pizza?
Cause it's not pizza If it's not CHEEZY.
ahaha.
While traditional Thai pineapple fried rice has tomatoes within the vegetable medley, I opted instead for this recipe to use a sauced red pepper tomato sauce glaze to top the dish, for a new school American twist and flare.
½ cup chopped mushrooms
½ cup scallions
¼ cup white onion
½ cup red onion
¼ cup Pasilla pepper
½ cup red pepper cup white onions
½ cup yellow pepper
¾ cup green pepper
1 cup fresh basil
1 cup fresh pineapple
UmBRIDGE.
What.
NO, Um—
A bridge appears out of nowhere.
lol why do you have no hair?
I dunno; mate.
Wizards.
Don't go there—
You're fired.
I beg your pardon
Please, don't beg. You are officially decommissioned as headmaster!
This is the minister of magic
Is that what it was.
I guess, I don't know; I'm just along for the
STEWIE.
WHAT MA, WHAT.
TEN AND TWO!!
You know what, let me drive.
Oh, finally—stewie has his own aplorable Boston accent, (hybrid proper English, of course. )
What does that even sound like
Strange.
The lady working at Trader Joe's was so beautiful to me, I had to tell her.
I loved her Locs, I loved her glasses
I loved her accent.
So I just had to ask where she's from—
I do that sometimes.
If I really love someone's accent,
I have to ask where their from to try to get there one day;
So I asked her,
“Where are you from?”
And she says
“Haiti,”
And I was like
“Wow, cool”
And then I thought about it for a second,
And I asked
“Do you ever miss home”
And she just laughed
I was like
“Oh, guess not”
Some context
I had been homesick lately,
But I grew up in Alaska
And I consider myself from California,
Having spent most of my adult life there
So coming to New York has been like
Living on the other side of the world;
And sometimes that sucks.
But sometimes, and I have realized that wherever you're from,
To get to New York is sometimes a blessing.
She didn't even say yes or no,
She just laughed.
Now I'm worried about Haiti.
I was worried about it before;
But now I'm like;
“Do you miss home?”
She's like
“Hahaha”
I'm like
“Oh damn.”
I count my blessings.
So JOHNNY DEPP just like excuses himself, wanders out into the street, and then—?
Yeah.
And then what?
I don't know yet, I'm kind of busy these days.
“BUSY?!”
BUSY DOING WHAT?!
Beep boop.
Eee—ooh.
Beep—boop—boop.
Yah-yah-yah—
APPLESAURCE
APPLESAURCE
APPLESAURCE
I'll show you all my scars, huh
This one, she look like the reaper
That's my girl,
You bet she a keeper
Ya'll sleepin on us
What
Yeah
What
Yeah
What
You sleeping on us
I been in this b'niss
APPLESAURCE
APPLESAURCE
APPLESAURCE
I LIKE BALLS
IN MY FACE
I LIKE BALLS
IN MY FACE
I LIKE BALLS
IN MY FACE
ILIKEBALLSINMYFACE.
I LIKE BALLS
IN MY FACE
I LIKE BALLS
IN MY FACE
I LIKE BALLS
IN MY FACE
ILIKEBALLSINMYFACE.
I LIKE BALLS
IN MY FACE
I LIKE BALLS
IN MY FACE
I LIKE BALLS
IN MY FACE
ILIKEBALLSINMYFACE.
It's not a bad song.
Is it a song?
Is it?
idk
I just like balls in my face, is all.
ILIKEBALLSINMYFACE.
[A Classic red dodgeball beams
Who is it?
WILL FERREL
Is that how you spell it?
Why will Ferrel?
Cause I Want it TO
MAKE ME LAUGH.
HOW.
JUST DO IT.
Oh. I get it: So my pain is funny to you?
[FINE, IT'S SOMEONE ELSE]
Oh shit, that guy did look just like Will Ferrel, but OLD.
He's old now, ain't he?
Wasn't he always?
[FINE]
CUT.
I QUIT.
CUT TO:
You and I, sir, have a longstanding arrangement.
Would it be more comfortable to–sit?
Yikes.
(Whatever, we'll work on it.)
[The Festiva–
{Enter The Multiverse}
I need a toothbrush to scrub my brain.
I'm
The lilly of the valley
In the
Belly of the beast
I been swallowed by a whale
I'm a whole damn story
Woah
I am the Lilly of the the valley
I am the rider of the horse
I am seeker of truth
Writer of lines
Sayer of lies
(I might say a lie;
But I just won't tell it)
What is your deal with the devil.
She knows I have a deal with ‘em.
Well, the truth is—
I have to turn ya!
He's a good old country boy—
From the simple south—
A simple soul
And they all believed him,
word for word
“I's born in New York”
—he sounded assured.
Gone, now, boy
Go crack dat corn.
Gone down south
Go crack dat corn
Gone, ol boy
Go crack dat corn m
—got no soul?
Go crack dat corn.
Aaaaghhh.
I have a headache.
why the fuck are you freaking out?!
Because I don't know what I wrote.
I must admit,
There are things
Where there should be no things
There are springs
Where there should be no springs
There are strings
Where there should be no strings
And imm quite sure
With no rules enforced
—it's just a static cling
Sort of thing
OWW, my EYES.
Nobody should have this much power.
Nobody does.
I don't get it.
(I still don't understand why this happened.)
He must have perfect genetics.
Or something.
THIS FOOL IS FIXING ME UP TO DIE!!!!!
I AM THECRISCO QUEEN
DIRTY NOT CLEAN
WHAT CAN I SAY
I LIKE
GREASE
MONEY EVERYDAY
BANKROLL
INCREASE
DEEP FRY HIGH
SUNNI BLŪ
Yo
VO.
Ok— so sometimes things go shitty.
Like, mad shitty.
YOOOOO.
My measurements are 34C, 24 waist, and 55 in height.
I couldn't understand why a girl this perfect should have to be selling sex at all,
But I supposed nowadays, all women were prostitutes in some sort of way.
This one's 22 years old and 96 pounds
Men are sick fucking creatures.
Whose fucking child is this?!
COME GET YOUR DAUGHTER.
Although, you know—I get it.
My mom bought a Mercedes in cash
And I'm still in educational debt.
I just now today realized.
That could have been a college fund.
But she wanted a Mercedes.
It's okay that I'm a bit fucked up in the head.
Something went terribly wrong.
All and all,
Myself and this perfect girl,
Cost around the same
For an entire night—
But hey,
I think she's low balling herself
On the 24 hour special.
That's an entire day of my time,
That's at least 10K.
♀️
She has a perfect body and two eyes that are different colors,
But I'm a literary genius.
You don't need words to soothe your boner thiugh,
Or show off at a black tie function, do you?
A stroll on the red carpet,
Or some opulent fucking
5-star charade.
How much does she cost, I wonder?
She says,
“I also accept bitcoin, etherum, gold and silver.”
On God,
These fake lip hoes is robbin' niggas.
Men are sick creatures though.
“Here's my gold watch”
Fucking gross.
I cruise escort sites for entertainment,
Having learned my value as a woman isn't the visual,
Visceral thing men are usually looking for—
No judgement,
Because I've realized that if I too had a perfect body.
I myself would be living in some kind of oppulent, prostitution fuck-hole,
With everybody else in my generation,
That didn't get married—
And then, probably divorced.
I realized a long time ago that this was the reason my mother
Always hated my body more than I ever could have— which is fine,
Because eventually I inherited this hatred.
I could have eventually grown out of it—
But she couldn't see that.
I was a “nasty fat heifer”
On her worst days,
And now,
Even on my best days—
I still am.
Nevermind that eventually my ex husband would
Think of my hair as nappy, or
That I actually did end up kind of sort of growing out of being
A fat, nasty heifer—
Kind of.
But the fact that it's taken me the entirety of my life to realize my worth as a woman
Would always be defined by that
Of what a man idealized as
“Worthy”
Well,
That in itself
Gives me the dismissive ability
To have days where I do nothing,
But sit back,
Cruising escort sites and shipping on Amazon for yoga mats,
Wanting the experience of the world
Without really being beautiful enough for it
And waiting to fade
Into the next lifetime.
[All the black girls cost less
Because they have to.]
Men are sick creatures.
They'll take a butterface,
Ugly ass white girl
Over a pretty one that's dark skinned
And these are just
The facts of life
(So far.)
Piper of Phoenix
Valiant, bold, and brazen
This woman, I love—
In the wings for fortune,
To honor, I love
With wisdom,
And aged like fine wine
We all become
I want body like Sofia
But never met the real Rebecca.
Yo.
YO.
Let's spend $60 o lip gloss.
Okay.
Hey.
Ways crackin.
I just bought a $12,000 mattress.
Let's take a nap in it.
Hey girl.
Heeeeeeey.
This yoga mat cost $200.
That's fresh.
You think THATS RICH?!
Seems pretty rich to me.
You can't get any of this stuff on Amazon.
That's fucking psycho.
These loafers?
Uh uh.
$2,000.
For WAT.
(Whispers)
Eeel skiiiin.
Gross!
I'm HUNGRY
Got grits,
Ain't got no sugar.
No butter—
—ain't hurt nobody.
Poverty is a whole damn show.
Close the door
On a broke ass bitch.
Poverty is a whole damn story.
Got no bucks for the Whole Foods market
Shopping carts full of old ass garbage
No reward
For a woke ass artist
I'm HUNGRY.
I killed myself 3 times his morning.
POOR SNOOP is still a whole ass G
BET ON IT HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL RAP COVER -$15
BROKE WAYNE AINT HAVING IT
CHRIS ROCK THE METRO TRAIN DRIVER is NOT FUNNY—
(He's still a ladies man though.)
LCD SYSTEM
HOOGLI BOOGLI is the reason they fear us.
HOOGLI BOOGLI IS THE BLACKEST BLACK THAT EVER BLACKED.
UNLIKE NIGGLY NIGGA—he is NOT FRIENDLY.
He is the stuff of nightmares.
A world gone wrong.
Two bloodshot eyes on a black backdrop
Dark black.
I sold not state at screen
They go uno in te night
This shit doesn't make much sense,
Does it?
Doesn't
Matter
Antimatter.
Ow.
How far is antimatter from antithesis?
Is this just a Christmas present
Never said it, same diff
Something something something
SHUT UP.
So to re-iterate—
Uh huh.
Niggly Nigga is friendly…
Yeah, he's just—
—he just looks like that.
AH.
What happened.
Don't stand behind me like that, my nigga.
Srry.
{Enter The Multiverse}
[The Festival Project.™]
COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. ©
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©
-Ū.
Okay, that'll work.
#timetravelingdjs
Enough with these weak dick pussy motherfuckers..
I still got 30 minutes in my cycle routine!
Here you come with your pussy ass punches;
AIGH.
OOOOOH.
Come on, put some weight in them shits!
Pretend it's my face.
Damn. I lost fat Jimmy Fallon.
How'd you lose him?! He's hard to lose!
And slow!
Damn!
THE SUPER FAT JIMMY FALLON is trying to slim down; he munches on a chocolate chewy bar (read: eats it in two biles and grips the wrapper anxiously.)
Imm a whole ass nigga
Come try take me out my head
I got corn in the fridge
I got bread
I got money to spend
On you
(On you$
On you
I got money to spend
On you I
I gotta go
What happened
Jew stuff.
Ah yes.
I remember now.
Yeah, that's a Jew.
Rabbi?!
Shh! Shut up!
But—
Shut up!
Yo. Bama.
BARAK OBAMA
I told you, don't call me that.
Sorry—listen, Barak.
President—
President Obama.
[beat]
…yes?
Look, I need a favor.
You still owe me one.
Put it on my tab. Listen, this is importsnt!
-_-
I think I control my neighbors.
Yikes.
For real. I think they move based on when I move.
Seems like it.
You're right! It seems like it.
I was agreeing with you.
BROH.
They got planted baby bell cheeses!
THEYGOTPLANTBASEDBABYBELLCHEESES
I kinda wanna see if Dillon Francis is a dad yet .
I'm tryna see like a tiny version of this.
Of what.
Don't change a thing.
I would also like tiny versions of this,
This,
And this—
Please.
Ok.
And this.
Are you sure!?
Yes.
JACK BLACK
don't you ever do that to me AGAIN!
What! I didn't do anything to you!
What?
No!
You didn't? Why not?
What.
What the Fox News! Do you have like an exclusive contract with Fallon, or something?
No, that's NBC.
I really can't talk about it right now, Jack.
Hey hey-/ since when are we on a first name basis?
You know what— you're right—
I know it,
Excuse me, Mr. Black—
I ought to be going.
going where?! You have to get me back to my original dimension!
You don't have an original dimension!
What! Why not,
The fourth wall has been broken, very broken.
And 2.
What's the second point?
You shouldn't have taken that acid.
What acid?! Which time?!
Exactly!
Goddammit!
don't look at me, God made this playlist.
“Jew stuff”
Ever since I inducted Jack black and Alex Baldwin into the impenatrable ten
Ah—ahem
Nobody “inducted us”
There's no induction.
We were just always
—always.
Here.
HOOGLI BOOGLI.
Huh.
DID YOU JACK MY RIMS?
Nah man, wasn't me.
[the rims are sloppily hidden under a potato sack “hidden” obviously in the corner.
Hehe.
NIGGLY NIGGA spots his rims in the corner.
Musical torture.
HOOGLI, THESE ARE MY RIMS.
I don't know how those got there, man, shiet!
Nigga!
What!
HOOGLI BOOGLI
YOU BLACK ASS NIGGA
DONT—COME AROUND MY HOUSE NO MORE
LOL HOW DO NIGGLY NIGGA AND HOOGLI BOOGLI SHARE A HOOD?
Cause it beez like that sometimes.
God damn—
He's so fine to me!
God damn,
He ages like wine!
Goddamn
Goddamn!
I turn the time;
Damn,
Goddamn—
Let's turn back time
{Enter The Multiverse}
[The Festival Project.™]
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