What does a 20-foot garden flagpole really signal about its owner? In this episode, I delve into the baffling world of suburban semaphore—where Union Jacks flutter like distress signals and patriotism collides with performative absurdity. From Croydon to Cornwall, I explore why your neighbour’s nylon allegiance might hint at deeper eccentricities (or a latent desire to re-enact the Battle of Trafalgar in a semi-detached). Featuring passive-aggressive hydrangeas, questionable historical grievances, and the existential horror of a permanently hoisted St George’s Cross, join me as I ask: is a garden flagpole the ultimate red flag? Spoiler: Yes. Yes, it is.

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