I hate thinking about suicide

I can run but I cannot hide

the thought just won't go away

evryday I pray and pray

for some kind of relief

from this brand of grief

I don't want to kill myself

the thought belongs on the shelf

floating in reality

the chemicals that bind me

make everything alright

my medications airtight

it eases the tension

keeps me in this dimension

these aren't happy pills

for cheap thrills

my suicidal thoughts aren't real

they don't coincide with what I feel

I have a disease that generates them

a virus infecting my brainstem

and other parts of my head

I wish this cruel part of me dead

I try to kill it with pills

but I still have the thought and it chills

floating in reality

the chemicals that bind me

make everything alright

my medications airtight

it eases the tension

keeps me in this dimension

these aren't happy pills

for cheap thrills

I am afraid of losing control

the world has taken too much toll

I'll decide I don't want to be alive

somehow I'll lose all my drive

and in an instant I'll give up

dear lord, keep me from cracking up

I'm so used to the the thought now

I wonder if I'll just say ciao

floating in reality

the chemicals that bind me

make everything alright

my medications airtight

it eases the tension

keeps me in this dimension

these aren't happy pills

for cheap thrills

the thoughts should be amusing, I should be able to laugh death off

its like a fly in oinment

its like a fly in oinment

I don't want to be a tortured soul walking the earth for all eternity

I fear the afterlife

I fear the afterlife

I can imagine many consequences of taking my own life

I don't want to burn in hell

I don't want to burn in hell

Maybe I'm just curious about what happens when you die

somebody stop my heart

somebody stop my heart

then revive me

so I can have a peek

so I can be exposed