"Why Hello, Annie and Colleen! Have you been good little kids this year? Eggbert knows all and sees all and knows everything which I kinda already said, but I'm an Egg so forgive me. So even though I know already, do you want to tell me what you would like for Christmas?...ahhhhhh. I thought so! Now go on your way. Buy an ornament of my head in the gift shop!"--Eggbert circa 1985

Musical Guest:

The Dresden Dolls performing "Girl Anachronism" and "Missed Me"

Tales of Wonder:

* Who Needs Santa When You Have Eggbert?

* Macaulay Culkin and the Limo Mystery

* How to Properly Sell Your Soul to the Devil

Impromptu Songs:

* Momma's Little Baby Loves Satan Bread

Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context:

* "I gotta finish this project...the project being my cardiovascular system."

* "I have this burning Vincent Price DESIRE, a Vincent Price sized hole in my gut."

* "Satan hates puns, which is maybe why he won't make a deal with you."