We're giving you a COVID update as Paul has had an experience and had to turn detective. Knowing who has what disease is so exhausting. Talking of which...

Dating is so weird these days. Why do the kids have to rename everything to make it sound cooler than it is, and rename something that really doesn't need renaming, because they didn't invent it.

Welcome to the wonderful world of fluid bonding. Don't know what fluid bonding is? You are so retro - get with the programme. Everyone's doing it, apparently.