If you strip away all the bells and whistles of a wedding - the extravagant decor, lush flowers, even (gasp!) professional wedding planning and photography - at the end of the day all you need to get married is you, your significant other, and an officiant. Your officiant is the person who will make your marriage legal, so this is the only “must have” on your wedding day.

Our guest today, Kelehua Kawai, is a professional officiant, specializing in personalized ceremonies. She likes to add her own Hawaiian culture to each of her ceremonies, creating something unique for her couples. Whether or not you’re planning to get married in Hawaii, everyone needs an officiant, so this episode is for you.

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CREATING THE PERFECT WEDDING CEREMONY

• Your ceremony is the main part of your day - it makes the marriage legal, so spend time finding someone that is a good fit for your wedding.
• Some couples want to get very involved in the ceremony process, others just want to follow along - either way is OK.
• “Follow my lead” - Kelehua explains that if people are nervous, or don’t want to or don’t have time to get involved with the ceremony details, it’s OK. They can follow her lead (writing their own personal vows or not) and still create something very special and personal to each couple.
• It’s OK not to write your own vows - you want them to be perfect, and sometimes there’s a lot of pressure to make it exactly perfect.
• Wanted vows to be perfect - but understand the pressure to make it perfect
• When you’re writing your own vows, make sure they are what you truly want to say, not what you think people want to hear. People often express what they’re thankful for in their partner, and then share what they vow to do. Personal vows are on average 1-2 minutes long. Be you, and say the things you want to say.
• What about a family member or friend officiate the wedding? It can be beautiful! Just make sure you communicate what you want so they can be fully prepared. Another option is to dual officiate - having a professional guide your family member or friend.
• What makes a professional officiant great, is they work with your other vendors to make sure things are aligned with their vision, and yours. Where is the best placement for the officiant to stand but not be in the way? Why do we move the veil after the lei exchange? What’s the best way to speak into a mic so everyone can hear, and the video can capture clear audio? All of these things matter, and a professional officiant manages all of this during your ceremony.
• There are many different types of officiants - religious, non-denominational, a judge, someone who ties in cultural elements. The first step is to figure out what you need/want.
• Responsible tourism is a relatively new concept - it’s creating an environment for people to start being more aware of their actions and footprint when going to a foreign destination.

Find Kelehua Kawai
Instagram: @marry_me_hawaii
[email protected]

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