This is episode 24 on the FYF podcast. Let’s jump into how the monthly cycle plays out – what actually goes on in between each period? Because there is a lot that does happen and I can assure you it is well worth knowing about. Just this week I spoke with a number of women who recently came off their hormonal birth control methods – whether that be the pill or device like the hormonal IUD – and they hadn’t had a cycle for 10-15 years. In a few cases they had only ever had the first 2-3 years of actually menstruating after getting their first period because as we know, the bleed that you get on the pill is NOT an actual period. So here we have 30-40 year old women literally getting to know their cycle for the first time in their lives – which is super amazing. And it is never ever too late to get to know your body in this way. Even when the period is done and dusted there is so much to embrace about what is happening in your body – but more on that in other episodes.

If you do want to talk about contraception options 1:1, feel free to get in touch. I work with women all over the world supporting in a coaching or counselling capacity on all things women’s health and knowing your body.

So let’s go there ladies and head over to the episode!

Topics that discuss in this episode:

• Phases of the menstrual cycle

Enjoy this episode giving you the 101 basics of the menstrual cycle.

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• Fertility Awareness Method and irregular cycles

• In the Name of The Pill – Audio Book on Audible

• Episode 20 – Is the Copper IUD a ‘better’ choice that the Mirena?

• What is the Copper IUD? And how does it work?

• Jane talks about her life in her younger years, working a very stressful job and not taking care of herself. She was absolutely exhausted and ‘burnt-out’ eventually.

• Jane needed a big stop to help her recognise that she was not taking care of herself – even though part of her role was to advocate for wellbeing in the workplace.

• Is being stoic really a desirable way to be in work and in life? And how did this impact Jane’s body and her overall health?

• Jane’s experience of extreme debilitating pain as a young woman – disillusioned and blind-sided by the lack of medical support, the succession of pain-killers and being prescribed by the oral contraceptive pill.

• Jane had numerous investigations into the pain and associated symptoms she was experiencing however endometriosis was never mentioned until she was in her 30’s.

• What options was Jane eventually given?

• What changes did Jane make and how did this change her experience of the pain?

• Considering the detail of understanding your cycle and how you live your life – and how they mutually exclusive.

• The link between self-worth and endometriosis. Jane makes astounding revelations around this that so many women will be able to relate to.

• Jane realised that building a relationship with her body is essential to working in partnership with medical professionals rather than giving her power away.

• There is a ‘before’ model and an ‘after’ model that Jane shares with us that summarises her experience – super inspiring and makes so much sense.

• The key word is ‘know’ – not think, guess, assume, presume – it’s know. And this is absolutely possible.

• What is ovulation? A reminder about what ovulation actually is...

• When does it occur in general? We can have a general understanding that ovulation occurs around 2 weeks before we get our period. However we have to look at the signs our body is communicating for us to know exactly when that is from cycle to cycle.

• To achieve pregnancy

1. Cervical Mucus (CM) – presence communicates the lead up to ovulation and can also let you know when ovulation has occurred

• Can OPK's reduce your chances of conceiving?

• Is it possible to miss your fertile window when using OPK's?

• Does using OPK's alone encourage use of the Rhythm Method (RM)?

• How is the Fertility Awareness Method different to the RM?

• In terms of timing, how do you maximise your chances of conception?

• Why talking about periods is still very taboo.

• Gum disease seems to be a topic of absolutely no interest for people – yet it is a major condition that effects people in a wide ranging way.

• Link between the gums, the bacteria and our entire body and all body systems.

• 2 most common forms of gum disease – 1. Gingivitis – inflammation of the gums. Very common and absolutely reversible with good oral hygiene. 2. Periodontitis – progression of this gingivitis where breakdown starts to occur. The ligament that attaches the tooth starts to breakdown and can start to lose bone. This is not reversible.

• If we allow bacteria to grow on the gum and become thick, it can become a serious issue. The immune system is working overtime, creating lots of inflammation to try to deal with the bacteria but because it is ‘on’ the surface of the teeth, they can’t be reached. Therefore, the inflammation can wreak havoc on the body. Hygiene is key – WE have to get the plaque off, our immune system cannot access it.

• Everything boils down to good oral hygiene.

• Chronic inflammation drives so many of the illness and disease we are experiencing.

• “Brushing your teeth but not flossing is like putting on one leg of your pants” – Rachel

• Inflammation is affecting our hormones…and our hormones also affect inflammation.

• The hormones magnify what is really going on. If we start with good oral health, this is what is magnified. And likewise, if we do not have good oral health, this will be magnified by the hormones.

• We cannot blame our hormones. We see the impacts all the way through the phases of a woman’s life all the way to Menopause.

• We need to stop segregating the areas of the body and bring it back to the whole that it is.

• We spoke about self-worth and valuing yourself – this is like a muscle we have to work. We are over-developed in our lack of self-worth. We need to bring more focus and dedication to the self-care muscle.

• When you go from bleeding gums to not bleeding gums; from bad breath, to feeling fresh and clean.

• This is preventative and treatment all in one.

• Women who are pregnant or looking to become pregnant, have conditions like PCOS, PMS, and all other hormonal conditions – oral health is so important for you because of the hormone changes.

• Clearing gum disease is a significant factor in fertility.

• Pregnancy is an exacerbator of gum disease – will make worse what you have already got.

• Studies show that Hormonal Birth Control (HBC) can increase inflammation and swelling in gums, as well as impacting the nasty bacteria.

• We need to stop pretending that HBC are innocuous drugs. They effect every body system.

• Why are we not told to take care of our oral health before we start prescribing drugs? Why don’t we look at good oral hygiene, as well as diet, lifestyle and everything that could be contributing to the certain conditions we experience?

• You must complete brushing by cleaning between your teeth. You must floss. There are many different ways to floss!

• Gum disease is quite prevalent.

• The quality of the way Gabe and Annette live is a testament to the quality of their work. They are wholly and completely committed to being in service for others, showing us the way to truly live love. Super inspiring!

• Growing up and during the teen years can be very isolating because of all that is going on inside, all that you are actually feeling. There are a lot of inner thoughts and feelings about what feels true for you yet at the same time you are being dragged by everything that the world wants to influence you with.

• There are images coming in from every angle about what it means to be a woman – magazines, social media, music videos and media in all its forms. We are being shifted and shaped by all of this even if we don’t know it. These images are very pervasive.

• This melting pot can be difficult to navigate. This comes with the changes in hormones as we mature and develop, and stress also affects how this all plays out. The intensity of all of this together, so many aspects that we are dealing with, can make these years quite challenging. Particularly if we don’t have a foundation of really knowing ourselves.

• It is important to consider what else is going on in life that may be causing extra strain and stress which will be impacting these years as the body and being is developing.

• Very important to find adults whom you have solid relationships with, who you trust and can talk to. You can’t force this to happen, but is definitely worth opening up to this kind of support.

• Gabe talks about being very expressive in her sensitivity, very confident, very open. But when puberty started to happen and being aware of the changes in her body, as well as knowing that she was gay – she started to hold it all inside and developed this dual reality where she shut down her sensitivity, her sexuality and how she was really feeling. She knew that if others knew, it would cause a huge amount of upset. This, she made normal and later felt how much this actually impacted her.

• The tidal wave of pressure from ideals and beliefs affects everyone around you, so essentially everyone is swimming in it.

• We see this with teenagers being who we want them to be. You can see them moulding themselves to exactly what you want them to be.

• It can be challenging, confusing and awkward to navigate this time. We are looking to identify ourselves but without a role model showing us to way, we struggle with knowing how to be ourselves. We all know this innately but we need to support ourselves to hold on to this knowing and what we are here to bring to the world.

• Later when we get to our 40’s and 50’s and if we haven’t recognised that we have been living this duplicate life, we can get to a counselling session and realise that this strength that is always there, has been abandoned for 30, 40, 50 years. This can be devastating to feel and it is quite a job to go back and reclaim that and restore that.

• The world says to you ‘You will not be who you are’ so you learn to shut it down. And you can live your whole life like this…and then life will inevitably reflect this back to us. For example, when we have children who go through their teenage years, we struggle with their reflection and choices because we haven’t come to terms with this for ourselves and who we have not resolved the shut-down from our own teenage years. This may evoke jealousy, resentment, shame, longing, loss, regret, missing out, the devastation of having their sensitivity crushed and not having he space and the freedom to be able to express this.

• If we don’t reconnect to this sensitivity within ourselves then we can struggle to support the teens in our lives. They may inevitably go through enacting the same patterns.

• Cycle Wise Parents has been developed for this very reason.

• What about being a young woman? There are so many stereotypes about what this should be. There are so many images that we are bombarded with. Ultimately, we need to live in a way where we are not so easily influenced by all of this. We need to find women who are genuinely confident in who they are, are at ease in their bodies and are settled within themselves and how they express and dress. These are the true role models we need in life.

• "Innately we know who we are, and we innately want to express that" Gabe

• It is a very explorative time – going from a child, to adolescent, to teenager, to adult. The key is to be able to do this in way that whatever path we go on, is to not feel like we have to lock ourselves in to that or for others to impose locking us in on that or labelling us as that forever. It is such a changing time in so many ways. Exploring is very natural but we need to allow ourselves the space and flexibility to finding and accessing what our true expression is.

• In the age of social media, space and flexibility can be very challenging because we don’t get a break to feel where we are at.

• What is the true expression of a woman? It is something we all have to find within ourselves. There is an equal expression of feminine and masculine energy within us that Gabe says for her happens simultaneously and harmoniously and with great equanimity. When expressing the masculine aspects, for example, she didn’t feel she needed to be a man to do this. She realised she can be feminine in vibration and equally masculine in vibration without thinking that this needed to look a certain way. It was simply her expression that came from the inside.

• Women role model in the world and we need to be very responsible with that.

• There is such a preciousness about being a girl and being a woman. And it is the same for boys, they are innocent and pure and sweet. Before and unless they get corrupted by the outside influences.

• The presence of our cycle is such an important reminder of how delicate we are. It asks us to slow down, honour our sensitivity and our bodies. This is what is available.

• Have a relationship with the maleness and femaleness expression – this is where true confidence comes from and the ability to true to yourself and not be influenced by everything in the world that asks us to be everything else. It is the steady point that reminds us of who we are.

• There are the perversions of what it is to be a girl, and what it is to be a boy such as the pack energy of both that tries to come in and compress us. These have nothing to do with the true expression and essence of the person. It is about connecting to and knowing the inner qualities and inner beauty of who we are. Then it is natural to take care of the body and the being. It is then natural to express this, and this expression will be exactly what is needed.