E48 – Forced Adoption in Australia – 15 Years a Doula – Walking the Birth and Death Paths

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Wise women are all around the place in all stages of the life cycle and in all forms of nature. Vickie is one who I was deeply honoured to have on the podcast. This story from Vickie is quite an amazing story of strength, love, hope and possibility where Vickie speaks about walking and navigating the birth and death paths. Vickie’s life has been a colour of experience and has guided her to grow into the exemplary woman she is right now. The story begins when Vickie was the young age of 18, when her first daughter was removed in Australia’s forced adoption program in the 1970’s. The story continues on from here…..

Vickie and I head back to when she was 18, she had her first job and a trophy of a boyfriend. She then discovered that she was pregnant in the year 1969; those were not the times for someone unmarried to be pregnant. A wedding was arranged yet her husband to be disappeared. Vickie was moved into a convent for unmarried mothers, but she was unaware at the time that there was a government policy forcing religious organisations to coerce girls into giving babies up for adoption. Vickie was looked after in this place, however she was pressured into adopting out her baby. Vickie was amongst many young girls at this time and birthed and saw her baby only briefly before she was taken away. Vickie was nursed at the convent for two weeks and was then sent back home where she pushed all of her feelings aside.

Vickie was told to, “Get on with life.”

Moving on, Vickie talks about the birth of her son Jake which resulted in her becoming very interested in the mechanics of birth. She birthed during the time of women being shaved, having enemas and birthing on their backs. Vickie devoured books from authors including Grantly Dick-Reed and Leboyer, however nothing prepared her for her next birth experience two years later when she birthed still-born twins. Upon leaving the hospital, a nurse said, “There, there, plenty more where that came from.”

Again, Vickie was told to get on with life.

We talk about Vickie’s other children, how her life traversed around and how she came to the work she is doing today. We talk about the adoption and process of Vickie reconnecting with her daughter, Gillian, and especially connecting with her children while knowing they had a half sister. During this process, Vickie was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder; the unpacking begins. Let’s remember that there was a government policy in place in Australia at this time that would practically force adoption of babies on young mothers like Vickie.

We then talked about Vickie’s reunion with Gillian; this part is amazing… Listen..

Vickie’s work in birth and death shines out in this story and we shine on some of this amazing, wise woman wisdom. The last 20 minutes of the podcast involves the beautiful interpretation of the collective gifts that Vickie brings into being a Doula. 

Musings from Vickie

“Let me see my baby.”

“Birth has to be better than this.”

“What is a long labour?”

“’When does labour start,’ will be forever a fought question.”

“Holding Jake for the first time was amazing, I never wanted to let him go.”

“Dealing with grief, not just the individual events.”

“When you get to the top of the ladder, you need to make sure the ladder is against the right wall.”

“Acceptance and understanding of the uniqueness of each woman and her birth.”

“There is no cookie cutter approach of being a Doula.”

“Having the wisdom to really understand what a woman wants.”

“When I work with women I always ask them what their own births were like.”

“I see that birth and death are the same door, you are just going another way.”