Paul's clothing metaphor in Colossians is doing something precise: forgiveness is a garment you put on in the morning before anything has happened to require it. The person who waits until they've been offended to decide whether to forgive is always starting from behind. And the word Paul uses for forgive isn't releasing a debt. It's gracing someone with what you yourself were given, moving outward regardless of what moves back. The apology you're waiting for is not the condition. Having already been graced is the condition. That already happened.