Gay men can lead other people in a new model of forgiveness through their own self exploration of gay shame. We can evolve as men who understand and embrace the dichotomy of the masculine and feminine energies.

As gay men we may have struggled with forgiveness when we first came out. We had to learn to forgive ourselves for the lies people, society, and institutions told us – that we were abnormal, not good enough, broken, or a sinner in the eyes of god.

As adults we may struggle with accepting gender diversity, if we are unknowingly internalizing our own homophobia. The unanswered question is, “Do you have the self-worth to allow yourself to believe that you are good enough, and equal, after years of believing that you weren’t?”

This results in many gay men fearing the sissy, or the overly feminine male. They fear this aspect of being overly or overtly feminine, because they don't completely understand that this expression can be gift. They may take on the self-proclaimed label of “straight-acting” to stand as far away as possible from identifying with anything feminine.

Every single one of us manifest different degrees of the so-called masculine and feminine qualities. None of those qualities are inherently harmful or scary. None of those qualities take away one’s humanity, value, or worth. It’s people who chose to limit, control, and define others – not qualities.

Here are a few more posts that go deeper into the issues of homophobia and gay shame:

• The Internalized Homophobia Of “Straight-Acting” Gay Men
• How Gay Shame Limits Self-Worth and Personal Growth – LOP008
• Is Forgiveness of Homophobia a Gay Male Gift? LOP030

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