This week’s friend is a long time DM pal of mine and fellow Canadian, also she is originally from my University Town, so that is fun! She is currently out west studying and working hard to stay alive.

I’m talking about Annie she has many names, Anniebean, Beanbab, Beano, Beanbag, Sweet bean, Beanie Baby, Beans, Beanwich, Jelly Bean, Beanlet, Sweet Baby Bean, Bene. As a second choice, I have been known also to just respond to “Bean.”

“Always, I’d believed that the Spanish verb hablar meant “to have,” so that when one said “Sí, hablo español,” one was saying, “I have Spanish—I have command of the Spanish language.” Operating out of that misconception, I said to the handsome young Cubans, “No hablo Chiclets.” They smiled courteously.

Later, I learned that what I’d said was, of course, “I don’t speak Chiclets.”

At first I felt pretty dumb. But then I thought, “Well, it was an honest statement. I don’t speak Chiclets.”

Then I thought: “Why not?”

In the months since, I’ve been teaching myself to speak Chiclets. Let me tell you, it’s easier to speak Chiclets than to read or write it.”

– Tom Robbins, Still Life With Woodpecker

Annie’s Story: MY FULL AND TRUE VERSION of the time I met Bex in Seattle, The time James Corden and/or his staff DMed me on twitter

Annie’s Tweets:

GOOGLE CALENDAR

My sexual orientation is
[drumroll]
Lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllasagna.

— Classic Bean (@notabeanie) August 12, 2015

Sorry I'm late my bus is an ancient belief system no longer practiced in the contemporary world

— Classic Bean (@notabeanie) November 20, 2015

OTher Tweets

From our pal Josh @notacroc

Date: Lets break the ice.
Polar bear: break th-[shatters Coke bottle] BREAK THE ICE? What are you saying?!
D: I mea-
PB: THATS MY HOME LINDA

— Ally Gator (@notacroc) November 30, 2015

From Friend of the Show WILL

TIM ALLEN: Please set me free.

— penjamin.mp3 (@upsidedowntrash) November 27, 2015

From Flannery

[Cat on a Roomba rolls by a girl cat]
Hey baby
"Ugh, nice shark fin, u dork."
It's not a shark fin, it's my DICK, Megan, FUUUUUCK YOOOoooooo

— Flannery (@imdaintyaf) December 16, 2015

From Friend of the Show Danny @therealeatwood

@iamspacegirl @sarahjoyshockey https://t.co/v9EesCa5Jk

— REW (@therealeatwood) September 5, 2015

Questions from Twitter

From Liz

1. Fav movie that starts w/ an S
2. Suga so fly -how'd u get?
3. If u were living in the US where would you want to live that's not the US

— soup rabbit (@hellohappy_time) September 8, 2017

What's your favorite letter bae

— soup rabbit (@hellohappy_time) September 9, 2017

From the lovely Bex

1. Are you wearing pants?
2. Can you fashion oatmeal spoons from paper cups?
3. What is the most interesting thing you've studied recently?

— The Lady of Whatever (@Bexdora) September 6, 2017

From Malt!

What is the best (edible) bean?

— malts (@malt_skull) September 6, 2017

From Tom!

If not a beanie, then what?

— rebrand i nice now (@trojansauce) September 10, 2017

Thanks to Annie for joining me this week!