Be There

Four Kids, a Mortgage, and the One Question That Changed Everything


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At twenty-nine, with four kids, a mortgage, and everything on the line, Alan sat on a boat at Lake Powell while his father asked him one question. It didn’t tell him what to do. It changed who he decided to become. In this solo episode, Alan reframes how you make decisions, from weighing options to deciding as your future self, and leaves you with a simple practice to start today.

In this episode

  • The question Alan’s father asked him on a boat at Lake Powell
  • Why deciding from your future self changes everything
  • The difference between “what should I do” and “who do I want to be”
  • A simple daily practice: the five “I Choose” statements
  • Chapters:

    00:00 — Every life has a moment that changes everything

    02:34 — On paper, I had made it — but something was missing

    03:41 — "Comfortable had become his ceiling"

    04:51 — The real stakes — betting everything on a dream

    05:28 — The question that changed everything: "Who do you want to be?"

    05:58 — Stop asking WHAT — start asking WHO

    06:53 — The most selfless thing a father ever did

    07:42 — "An invitation he'd never given himself"

    08:40 — $1M/year growth for 13 years — proof of the decision

    09:52 — Why your present self is sabotaging you

    10:54 — How to escape the noise and make clear decisions

    11:31 — Viktor Frankl's lesson from a concentration camp

    15:42 — You don't have to face it alone

    Reflective questions for the listener

    • What decision are you circling right now?
    • Are you deciding from your present self or your future self?
    • Who do you want to be in twenty years?
    • Connect with Alan: thealanunderwood.com

      Be Present. Be Powerful. Be There.

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      Be ThereBy Alan Underwood