Happy birthday, America! We're celebrating the Fourth of July in style here on Alcohollywood, as we take on Roland Emmerich's American Braveheart, aka The Patriot! Returning guest Dusty Wilson comes back to indulge in this three hour long exercise in melodrama, Mel Gibson crying faces, and slow motion flag waving (and flag stabbing).

With a giant ensemble cast, and a suitably bombastic John Williams score, The Patriot cements itself as one of the most American movies a German has ever made starring two Australians. Luckily, we've also got a custom cocktail and drinking rules to help wash down this steaming pile of America, so take a look and listen below!