Stephanie:

“The Obama scandal isn’t working this time to protect Trump.”

Felix:

“Tell Melania the next time you see her at pole dancing class to just scream ‘BENGHAZI!’ It’s like the Republicans’ nuclear option.”

Stephanie:

“If they reach for Hillary’s emails again, they’ve officially jumped the shark.”

Felix:

“I would’ve told her myself, but I didn’t want to interrupt the class. She’s teaching it now.”

Stephanie:

“Honestly? I’m not mad. She’s giving me a career option for when this country fully collapses.

Nancy Reagan gave us ‘Just Say No.’ Barbara Bush gave us literacy.

Melania’s out here giving us free pole dancing certification with a focus on upper-body strength and regime change.

That’s the First Lady glow-up we didn’t know we needed.”