May 24, 2022

Freedom of forgiveness (feat. Jonathan Vazquez)

34 minutes

Wounds often come from those closest to us. Forgiveness is meant to heal the soul, but how we understand forgiveness makes all the difference.

*Apologies for the city soundscape in the background. At times, I dig it, but it occasionally serves as a distraction.

Episode Notes:

Common misconceptions to the process of forgiveness:

Forgiving = Accepting | We accept people for the good they do.

Forgiving = Excusing | We excuse people by no longer holding them accountable for something.

Forgiving = Tolerating | We tolerate what another has done when we overlook or ignore it.

Forgiving = Forgetting | We do not need to forgive if we simply forget.

True forgiveness is a journey (taken from Terry Hargrave’s Families and Forgiveness):

Salvage (finding things to save from the titanic) - means that the damaged individual who has experienced the injustice seeks to gain power and control over the mechanisms of pain and make identification with the humanity of the victimizer.

Insight: allows a person to objectify the mechanisms of family pain which caused the relational damage so the mechanisms can be blocked and the individual can be protected.

Understanding: allows a person to identify with the victimizer’s position, limitations, development, efforts, and intent. This identification opens the possibility that the victim will consider his or her own fallibility if faced with the same circumstances.

Restoration (actually restoring the titanic) - means the victim goes back into the relationship to build love and trust with the victimizer.

Giving the opportunity for compensation: involves the victim allowing the victimizer to rebuild love and trust into the relationship in a progressive manner which eventually erases the gravity of the injustice.

Overt forgiving: involves the victim and victimizer directly addressing the past damage and hurt.

Romans 12:18 (NIV) | If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Forgiveness vs. Reconciliation (Fellowship)

Forgiveness (I do)

Fellowship (We do)

Terry Hargrave’s Families and Forgiveness:

https://www.amazon.com/Families-Forgiveness-Healing-Wounds-Intergenerational/dp/1138121851/ref=sr_1_1?crid=S3H425W6E83J&keywords=terry+hargrave+families+and+forgiveness&qid=1651623293&s=books&sprefix=terry+hargrave+families+and+forgivenes%2Cstripbooks%2C85&sr=1-1

Music - Lie by dazeychain

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By Andrew Nobilini